Published September 27, 2011
I am afraid of love.
I am afraid of relationships.
I a so scared of unlocking myself to someone,
I am certain that they'll run away.
It's because I know no one can handle me.
No one knows how to hold me at night when I wake up, screaming, the fear running off me like sweat.
When I can't even handle myself.
But it's because they can't understand.
They haven't touched death.
When you touch it, even for just a split second, you become a different person.
I have flicked my tongue over the pills that take life.
I have spit them out, choked on them, thrown them up.
I have held them in my mouth, allowing them to burn, scald, and to scream until there are no sounds left to make.
I am different.
I have touched death.
Welcomed him.
Wanted him to take me.
I have also ran from him.
Seen the dark, hollow, soulless monster that he is.
And he catches up.
Grabs you with sharp, cold, skinless fingers.
And as you gasp for air he holds you down,
until you are a soulless,
like him.
That's when I wake up, screaming,
and they don't know how to hold me.
That's why I'm scared.
They can't save me from him.
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140,633 Literary Works • 673,571 Reviews
I am quite unhappy to say that I relate to this. I love the theme of the poem, and I think that you should certainly write more of the like. Writing is hugely theraputic, and if the poem helps you to deal with that particular moment, then write, write, write, until your brain is out of words (which it should never be, hopefully!)
Something that always helps me with writing poetry is reading it aloud to myself, sometimes I pick out flaws in my work doing this, that I would not notice otherwise. Just a little pointer
Hi there,
Man, this was deep. Like, really, really deep.
The overall feel of this poem was very raw and it possessed this sensational edge that gave me the chills.
I think what I like most is how it starts off as a love poem but seeps into something completely different and personal. At points I wondered how the two topics connected but as I read it over and really thought about it, I think I see where the connection is... if that makes any sense. I know the effects suicide has on people's lives from my own experiences and as sad as this poem is subject wise, I'm glad you wrote this. It really speaks to the reader.
Grammatically, it seems to be in shape and if you read it over you'll catch any spelling errors on your own.
Anyway, I very much enjoyed this!
Happy Writing
-Briggsy
Wow. This is heavy. It deals with the big issue of sucide that is in our culture nowadays. Its so sad and terrible. I really hope that this poem was not written from personal experiance, but if it was, I'm sorry. This poem touched me and I feel like it should be spread around, so that people can get a glimpse of the terrible creature that roams this earth. (Death) Thank you for posting.
Keep Writing,
-Xreigon