if you're smart enough, you'd realize that this is a song I wrote for David Archuleta, no joke XD (pay close attention in the really long bridge; i use the names of all his songs 
) and yes, i AM an obsessed little fangirl. hence my username :-] and since this is about a celebrity, it makes the song very amateur-ish, i believe? in other words, i don't think it's my best work oh and i'm not sure if i want to stick with the title "Dear David" so if you come up with anything better, leave it in your reply! please and thank you.
(v1)Dear David,
I’ve got a few things I’d like to say to you
You’re my own little slice of heaven
Poor thing, you’ll never understand me
Even if you try walking in my shoes
Someday we will meet for sure
(c)I’m a crazy little girl
You’re just one very shy boy
Baby I’ll be your whole world
I promise you’re not just a play toy,
I love you
(v2)Dear David,
I’m having trouble writing this song
Because you’re just too perfect for words
And here I am, serenading you
I’ll sing to you all night long
(c)Who cares I’m only fourteen?
We’ll find a way to work it out
Don’t want you just in my dreams
Because we should be reality,
I love you
([really long ] b)I’d say I’m falling for you, but baby I’m already in love
I know it works for me if you stopped running from this rush
‘Cause I’m desperate for you to be more than a crush
I know you can touch my hand
Once we get past these barriers,
Don’t let go of my hands,
No, never let me go
I know your eyes don’t lie,
You’re one of those angels
You help me sleep at night
I’d do anything to be with you
Because I’ll never be a little too not over you
You’ll always be stuck waiting for yesterday if you never,
Realize there is somebody out there for you
And that somebody is me
(v3) Dear David,
I wrote this song just for you
It’s over now, what do you do?
How about you call me back?
And then let’s see where things go from there,
I love you
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,007 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
I have no idea who David Archuleta is, but from what I have read from your song he sounds like one of those singers who sing about sissy things.
You are right about this not being your best work. Although, I really have not read anything that you have written yet, but this is really bad.
Especially the part where you mentioned that you did not care about the age difference. I suppose you want this guy (if you and him were ever to meet) to go to jail for you for child rape....actually it would be statutory rape.
Haha I loved it! I'm a huge "Archie" fan like you so I thought this was really great. I loved how you used all his songs in it somewhere. Ya this probably wasn't the best, but for writing it about a celebrity I think it was pretty good.
Thanks for a great read!
Love always,
Ktg