Published March 12, 2011
Life is...
I don't know
It can be good
It can be bad
For me,
Life is just frustrating
How am I supposed to live life if all these things keep happening to me?
When I love the way life's going
It turns in the wrong direction
But I don't get it?
I didn't turn the steering wheel that way.
When life is bad
It backs up to go the right way.
But is getting stuck really necessary?
I didn't do anything at all.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,590 Literary Works • 673,544 Reviews
I really liked the idea of your poem... But I think you should use more powerful words and a bit more creative expression... Anyway, I liked your work...
Hey, it's Smashles here for a review! Hopefully it will prove helpful to you
Okay, I don't like the "I don't know" part. It's not that it's cliched, like what Kafkaescence said, but I think that it sounds like you've just thrown the whole poem away, like your English teacher has asked you a question about the book you're studying but because you don't like the book, you don't care. Perhaps you could replace it with something powerful, like maybe "Life is Mysterious" rather than "I don't know".
Again, you sound like you're throwing it away. Perhaps replace it with "But I don't understand."
This is my favourite part
So overall it's a good poem, but you could use some more powerful language with parts of it, like I said.
Keep writing, you're not bad at it
Smashles
Huh. Okay. This was intriguing. I like the emotion. Keep writing.
-Kafka