Just the start

Hey There! Sofie here with a review!

First off, kudos on posting a piece after not having written for a while. It can be tough to put your stuff out there after not having written for some time, so props for that!

This is a pretty solid piece! I think you do a really got job at creating character and laying out who your main character is. As other commentors have already pointed out below, the only thing you might want to work on or edit is creating a better hook at the beginning, just so we have more context to the questions being posed. Also, putting spaces between paragraphs and other punctuation.

Don't really have any other criticisms besides that. Overall a solid piece. Thanks for posting! Can't wait to see what you put up next!

- Sofie

Okay, this is nice so far. To me the girl is a character I want bad things to happen to, I don't know if you intended this or I am just a bad person. By the end of the second paragraph I really wanted to find out what happens to her since you didn't really reveal anything in the first paragraph. I'm so curious. So, yeah, I guess I do want to read more.
Now here are a few things I personally think that you should touch up, but this is my opinion, feel free to disregard:
-"live life to the fullest so it seems" Could use a comma in there.
"- My dad will though I am his little princess" And in there.
" have to lovely dogs" Fix that.
"- I adore, Kiki and Russell" Use something besides a comma.
"- It " lower case.
"I just didn’t fit in you know" Could use a comma.

I'm usually critical of other's stories, but I understand you haven't written in years, so I'll be considerate (I'm ignoring grammar and some word choice).

The first thing I'd like to point out is your introduction. The beginnings of any story usually start out with a hook. I've kinda figured out that its hard enough to keep a person reading the story your write, but the first few sentences of a story is arguably the most important part of any story, no matter the genre. You begin the story with a couple of questions we don't exactly know the context to, I know that's intentional for suspense, but it would still be preferable if your readers at least partially understood the context of these questions, such as "Where is she?" or "What is going to happen to me next?"
The cool part to questions in a story, especially a mysterious/suspenseful one, is that your reader may understand what the question is asking and why the question asks, and thus continue to read for the answers that will be revealed later. You leave your reader hanging...on a "hook."

After that hook comes the background exposition, "Let me take you back to this morning, when my life was simple." What's peculiar about this flashback to "this morning" is that you just begin your story with your character, Fiona, in a dark, wet, cold room, yet when you make this flashback for exposition, it sounds like you're talking directly to the readers themselves, which isn't a bad thing, but it doesn't look like you were doing it intentionally(?) Try having Fiona go to the flashback in an attempt to find the answers to the questions they asked in the introduction. Also, when in the flashback, use details that are useful to the plot (then maybe some character building stuff like how Fiona didn't finish college and how she views herself as kind hearted, yet others do not).
Are the dogs, Kiki and Russel, partially somehow responsible for the main character getting herself thrown into the dark room?

I urge you to continue writing so that I may help guide you. The only way to get better at writing is to keep writing. Remember, I'm not here to tell you what to write, only HOW you write it. I hope you appreciate my review!

Nice start! The beginning paragraph is certainly intriguing, and I wonder who 'she' is.

Just be careful about paragraph spacing, because it's very easy for readers to lose their place in large walls of text. The second paragraph is a tad bit big, so you can probably put a line break from "My dad and I were preparing for a normal day [...]"

Also, I just want to note that "laundry list" introductions are actually quite common in writing. A "laundry list" introduction is a starting paragraph that lists the qualities of the main character: name, age, hobbies, etc. So if you want to set your story apart from others, you might want to spread these details apart over the course of the first chapter/scene. Maybe describe how Fiona and her dad were preparing for their normal day, have them talk to each other, and mention their dogs etc. or something like that.

But at least from the list you've given here, I can see that you've put a lot of thought into Fiona's character; she's got her likes and dislikes set out, her type of background, etc. I can already imagine Fiona: fun-loving and just a bit irresponsible. She sounds like an actual person, and you'd be surprised how many writers can't make characters seem like people. So good job on creating a good character!

I'd certainly love to see where this is going, so keep writing!