Plea

Hi.

There's something very raw and vulnerable about this poem. The word choice you used really created an atmosphere of this... loneliness, this yearning that you're describing in this poem.

There are so many interesting and strikingly beautiful lines in this poem. This poem truly does speak to me, as I've tried to capture this feeling in a few poems of my own. I don't think I portrayed it quite as effortlessly as you have, though.

I could also be totally off on my interpretation. I could be talking about a bunch of nonsense throughout this entire review, but, hey, it's what I got from this poem, so I hope it's at least something for you.

First off, I'd like to address the rhyming of this poem. I actually didn't notice the rhyme scheme of this poem at first. I went through the entire poem without realizing it, in fact. (that might be because it's really late, but that's beside the point) Normally, I'm not a big fan of rhyming because it often sounds forced, and the words would just flow much nicer if the poem wasn't conformed to a rhyme scheme.

However, this poem still flowed so effortlessly, and it still encapsulated this yearning feeling. For me, it's just so hard to create a specific mood in a poem while also having limited word choice to follow the rhyme scheme. So, at least in my terms, you executed this almost perfectly.

Now, onto some line-by-line interpretations.

There’s something within me that needs;
A thing that stabs and stings without rest,
But keens in the morning stillness

I honestly don't think this opening line would be the same without the italicized "needs." This word simply stuck with me throughout the entire poem. And while it's not a particularly fancy or intricate word, the meaning and emotion behind it just sets the whole mood for the poem. I also like the use of the semicolon here. You could have gotten away with a comma, but a semicolon just adds a fraction of a second to that pause, making this line stand out.

It's always interesting to me how I can feel so empty during the night, but the second morning arrives, it seems to vanish. And I think you perfectly encapsulate this strange phenomenon with just one line. The word "keens" also seems to drag out and slow down the line, which compliments the "morning stillness."

What are you hungry for?
Oh, what are you hungry for?

I wonder the same thing. I love the use of italics here. It makes this part sound like a whisper, a quiet wondering, maybe spoken in the middle of the night. It also nicely breaks up the pattern of the poem, while not sounding intrusive or choppy.

A crying, whining need it is,

I'm not really sure what I want to say about this line. But I can simply feel this imagery.

It sits heavy on my heart and lips,
And wraps around me tight.

Again, I can feel this imagery. The way this wanting feels like your heart is being pulled at, and how it seems to make your body feel tense and heavy.

It whimpers for its beloved,
And foreign vistas far away.
It speaks of times long gone and rotted,
And begs for a taste of an unborn day.

There are many things about this stanza to unpack.

First, the use of the word "whimpers," which fits with the previous words of "crying" and "whining." These words sound sorrowful and yearning.

Next, is the juxtaposition in these four lines. "beloved" makes me think of someone close to the narrator, or possibly someone they already know, but "foreign vistas far away" are, well... far away. These two seem like opposites. And again, with the mention of memories and a want for a day that hasn't come yet.

This was really interesting to me, and actually made me stop to think about it. It makes a lot of sense with the rest of the poem since this "need" is voiceless and cannot tell the narrator what will fulfill it. This makes me think that the narrator is almost searching for a fulfillment for this need, or maybe the need is searching for many things it wants, things that it cannot have.

It wants always for my eyes,
As the thing itself is blind.
If I pity, it strips me of my sight
And forces me back into my mind

This whole stanza also made me stop and think.

Let's start with the first two lines. The need being blind makes me think that even the need doesn't know what it wants. This need wants to know what it wants just as much as the narrator, thus it needs eyes to search for what it wants. There was another line talking about this blindness. "Just jabbing fingers groping blind" (love this line by the way) This enforces the idea that the need doesn't know what it wants, either.

I love the aspect of the need striping the narrator of their sight, leaving the narrator just as lost as before, if not more.

Another thought is that there's a possibility that the narrator and the need aren't two different beings. I won't get too much into this, since I'd have to do a whole separate analysis of this poem to do so, but it is a possibility.

I haven’t quite yet figured out
How to live and give need its fill.

This is such a powerful ending to this poem. It didn't feel rushed or dragged out, it felt like the perfect time to end the poem. And the incorporation of the italicized "need" just adds a nice little bow on top. Such a stunning last line.

This poem truly struck a chord in my heart. As it turns out, I stumbled across this poem while feeling a like a "need" was jabbing and poking at me. I said this earlier, but I've tried to hard to capture what this feeling is, and I think I've been over-complicating it because it simply is a want for something. Something unknown. And as the last line says, I simply can't quite figure out how to fill that want.

I could have been yapping this entire time and you could be lost, but I really hope my interpretation was somewhat on the money, because this poem is just so delicate and raw.

I'd love to read more of your poems. :]

keep writing. -Avian