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140,234 Literary Works • 673,048 Reviews
This is a great poem.
This is a great poem.
I like it. the grammar sound good but needs more imformational stuff things that you need to add on here
Ex.... You need to think more and try harder on this.
Your welcome I love every story I read I like this one but
needs more imformational stuff.
Hey Lily!
Your poem is great, but there's one thing that would make it more awesome... structure! I got lost a little bit while reading this, but anyway I think it's great. I love the ending "...I want to meet this stranger who made a beauty from a beast." Well, I hope you'll find him one day
Keep writing, I hope I'll read more from you.
~Bard
This is a great poem.
This is a great poem.
I like it. the grammar sound good but needs more imformational stuff things that you need to add on here
Ex.... You need to think more and try harder on this.
Your welcome I love every story I read I like this one but
needs more imformational stuff.
Wow, that is some deep stuff!!! I really like it. Maybe it would make it easier if you formatted it in individual lines, unless it's your intent to have it in paragraph form. It has a very nice ring to it, and some nice imagery!
Good Job
Hello Lilyflower! This is a great poem with good imagery and tone. It has nice depth and feel as well. Although, I do suggest you try to format your poem something like this:
.......................................................
Stranger Darkness had fallen;
It’s burned by the light I have found the cure
For this never-ending night
The silence is broken as well I used to be alone.
I reach out for his hand,
And then he pulls me home.
I used to hate the day,
I loved my lonely night.
Now i crave the sun,
I want to walk in light.
Now i dream of daylight,
The night sky’s littered with stars
And even when we’re apart,
I know now he’s not far.
For every night I look up,
Seeing more than dark.
I know that when the day comes,
I’ll hear the song of lark.
I’ve been saved from myself
Happy for now at least I want to meet this stranger
Who made a beauty from a beast
...............................................................
Also, in this stanza:
The last line (Now I dream of daylight) takes away from your image and feel. You should never put the same words to close to each other in poetry, because poems are much shorter. Putting to words like "light" and "daylight" that close together take so much away. Try to find something more emotional to put. Try making them see what you are describing differently.
But overall, I think this is a great poem.
Keep it up!
~Rainn