Forgotten *Irony Piece, only suppose to be one page long*

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okayy...this is a pretty solid piece here. Its a very simple scene and I think you do a pretty good job with bringing it to life here. You can certainly imagine this playing out very easily and there's just enough to make you want to read on.

Anyway let's get right to it,

“See mom, this just proves how irresponsible Daniel is and how responsible I am,” I said getting into the car.

“Ok, so I forgot to do one project. It’s only the second week of school, I doubt that my teacher is even going to care.” Daniel said, his tone annoyed.

“You guys please stop your bickering. Daniel I already told you , if you want to slack off and not work hard then it’s going to be your grades that are going to fall. Colleges these days want students that are willing to work hard not students that want to slack off. Abigail, thank you for doing your project and you are the one that’s going to be rewarded by your teacher.” My mom added to our conversation.

Okayy...well that's an interesting one. The mother taking sides there is certainly an interesting move, but the siblings bickering about there about the project and arguing about whose more responsible seems like a pretty realistic depiction and this is off to a pretty neat start at the moment.

“I know,” I whispered under my breath. Without words to say we drove the rest of the way to school in silence. Once we arrived in parking lot, my brother jumped out of the car as quick as he could, trying to get away from my mom’s disappointed gaze. I on the other hand got out of the car slowly making sure that my mom was reminded of my hard work. As I walked to my class, which was on the way other side the campus, I kept thinking about how the other kids would react to my project. “Wow this is amazing” the other kids would say, with their eyes never leaving my project. “I knew you were smart, but this is extraordinary. I would have thought that an eighth grader did it!” my teacher would tell me.

My day dreaming was cut short, because before I knew it I was in front of my classroom. Opening the cold, silver door handle I could see people holding their projects in their hands acting as if it were an ordinary piece of paper. My project was safely tucked inside a report folder in my backpack. “They have no respect for their work,” I mumbled taking a seat. The bell rang, and everyone returned to their desks turning their eyes and attention towards the front of the room. “Ok, class as you know your big report on satire was due today. I expect that everyone has it since it was given last Tuesday. If anyone would like to stand and deliver their report they can do so now for 2 extra credit points.”

Okayy...so it looks like the typical class scenario there and our character seems to be one of the few that actually seem to care a lot about projects like these. Its a nice little start here, it certainly matches how this sort of thing tends to go down in real life and so far its going along okay.

My hand shot up the second the second I heard the words extra credit. “Ok, Abigail, you’re first. Would anyone else like to share?” My teacher asked as most kids in the class slumped down in their seats. “Nerd,” I heard Sarah say as a large majority of the class broke out into a giggle. Without bothering to care I zipped open my backpack to get my report. I looked through the notebooks, and folders neatly organized in my bag, but I couldn’t find it. I unzipped the other compartment of my bag, sure that I wouldn’t find it there, but to my dismay it wasn’t there either. Worried, I frantically tossed all the things out of my bag hoping that I missed it by accident. Once again I couldn’t find it.

Ok think. This morning I had it in my hand and I was going to put it in my bag when, when, mom asked me to get a jacket. So I got my jacket and did I pick it up again. Shoot I forgot to pick it up and put it in my bag. My thinking stopped when from the front of the room I hear Ms. Gaster say “Abigail, please speed it up. We have a lot of things to cover today and only 52 minutes to do it in.” By now the teachers gaze as well as all of the other students’ gazes were on me. My face turned a deep tomato red, and with a lack courage I said,

Oh dear, that seems to be the very classic moment when things come back to haunt you. Volunteering right away in that fashion without giving a though to double check can come back to hurt you like this and it looks like our poor main character is just setting themselves up for some embarrassment here. So far this is continuing in the vein of depicting a very realistic and rather relatable scenario here.

“I think I left it at home,”

“Well how are you going to read it when it’s at home?” Ms. Gaster said, obviously mad, because I had taken up class time. I shrugged my shoulders and I was sure that my face was a blood red now. “Well, that’s a zero for you. The rest of the class pass your papers up.” Ms. Gaster said without any sympathy. Shocked by what Ms. Gaster said, I didn’t know whether to cry, or be mad. It was only the second week of school and I already had a zero, just like my brother. I wasn’t myself the rest of the school day, and throughout my classes and stared at the clock waiting for each bell to ring. I desperately wanted to go home and let out all of my emotion, where no one could hear or see me.

Well that ended about as well as you could expect a situation like this one to. You definitely find yourself with some empathy here and its a good little situation that makes you want to continue reading here. A pretty decent choice of ending there.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Okayy...so this is a pretty solid looking start here. There's certainly enough going on that you find yourself wanting to read on and find out more here. A pretty nice piece here.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

Hey, Dotsy! Here for a review. =))

care#FF0080 ">,” Daniel said, his tone annoyed.

Daniel#FF0080 ">, I already told you

#FFFF40 ">Abigail, thank you for doing your project. #FF0080 ">and #FF0080 ">You are the one #FF0080 ">who's going to be rewarded by your teacher.”

*gasp* we have the same name. LOL

Without words to say#FF0080 ">, we drove the rest of the way to school in silence.

#FF0080 ">“I know,” I whispered under my breath. Without words to say we drove the rest of the way to school in silence.

[color=#FF0080 ]~~ new paragraph ~~

Once we arrived in parking lot,[/color]

Once we arrived in #FF0080 ">the University's or aparking lot

I#FF0080 ">, on the other hand#FF0080 ">, got out of the car#FF0080 ">, slowly making sure that my mom was reminded of my hard work.

“Wow this is amazing” the other kids would say, with their eyes never leaving my project. “I knew you were smart, but this is extraordinary. I would have thought that an eighth grader did it!” my teacher would tell me.

This part just confused me. I thought she was entering college. Are these memories? Okay, now I get it. XD

Opening the cold, silver door handle#FF0080 ">, I could see people holding their projects in their hands#FF0080 ">, acting as if it were an ordinary piece of paper.

The bell rang, and everyone returned to their desks turning their eyes and attention towards the front of the room.

#FF0080 ">~~ new paragraph ~~

“Ok, class as you know your big report on satire was due today. I expect that everyone has it since it was given last Tuesday. If anyone would like to stand and deliver their report they can do so now for 2 extra credit points.”

Dotsy, always remember when starting a new dialogue, always enter for a new paragraph. =) For example:

My teacher asked as most kids in the class slumped down in their seats.

#FF0080 ">~~ new paragraph ~~

“Nerd,” I heard Sarah say as a large majority of the class broke out into a giggle.

Without bothering to care I zipped open my backpack to get my report. I looked through the notebooks,#FF0080 "><< delete comma and folders neatly organized in my bag, but I couldn’t find it. I unzipped the other compartment of my bag#FF0080 ">. I was sure that I wouldn’t find it there, but I still tried.#FF0080 "> To my dismay#FF0080 ">, it wasn’t there either.

I really like that paragraph. I myself am having a hard time each time I try to make a character go anxious. =))

#FF0080 ">Shoot[color=#FF0080 ]! I forgot to pick it up and put it in my bag.[/color]

My thinking stopped when #FF00BF ">from the front of the room I hear#FF0080 ">d a voice from the front rows. #FF0080 ">Ms. Gaster say

#FF0080 ">~~ new paragraph~~

“Abigail, please speed it up#FF0080 ">," Mrs Gaster said, "we have a lot of things to cover today and only 52 minutes to do it in.”

#FF0080 ">~~ new paragraph ~~

By now the teacher#FF0080 ">'s gaze #FF0080 ">was on meas well as all of the other students’ #BF0080 ">gazes were on me.

#FF0080 ">~~ new paragraph ~~

My face turned a deep tomato red, and with a lack courage I said,

“I think I left it at home#FF0080 ">.”

“Well how are you going to read it when it’s at home?” Ms. Gaster said, obviously mad, <<#FF0080 ">delete comma because I had taken up class time. I shrugged my shoulders and I was sure that my face was a blood red now.

#FF0080 ">~~ new paragraph ~~

“Well, that’s a zero for you. The rest of the class pass your papers up#FF0080 ">,” Ms. Gaster said without any sympathy.

Shocked by what Ms. Gaster said, I didn’t know whether to cry, or be mad. It was only the second week of school and I already had a zero, just like my brother. I wasn’t #FF0080 ">being? myself the rest of the school day,#FF0080 "><<delete comma#FF0080 ">, and throughout my classes#FF0080 ">[color=#FF0080 ], I just[/color] stared at the clock#FF0080 ">, waiting for each bell to ring. I desperately wanted to go home #FF0080 ">and let out all of my emotion, where no one could hear or see me.

Wow, Dotsy. I really liked this! Of course, I got a lot of nitpicks here, but it was okay nevertheless. =D/

Poor me--I mean--Abigail. LOL I'm a nerd, but I'm not conceited like her. LOL Thanks for the good read, Dotsy. Keep writing, girl!

~~ Jash ♥