violets are blue
Roses are too
Hey I think I love you
Maybe I do or maybe I don't
You have to wait, you probably won't
Life isn't always fair
And I really do care
We are the perfect pair
We're as wonderful as air
I wonder if you know the real me
Warning ~ I might sting like a bumble bee
When I think about love
I say that it's the feeling from the world up above
I can't imagine life any other way
When I'm with you, I have a great day
Now you know my point of view
But have you loved at least a few
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125,016 Literary Works • 672,852 Reviews
This is actually kind of cute. It's not exactly too romantic but its suitable for this hallmark holiday. Along the lines of literary techniques: there was a scattered rhyme skeme. I could see you definitely wanted it to rhyme but to help it flow more maybe go in patterned paces. What I mean by this is instead of saying something with AAA BB CCCC DD EE FF GG, try to be more consistent like AAA BB CCC EE FFF GG. I liked the little part about "stinging" the person gently as if the experience might be painful but bearable. Have a good day!
Hey, lilGbabyG, Strange here and I have a review for you!
(Is there any chance you are a Vikings fan?)
I see that you're new, and you're most likely to encounter me a lot. I run on an anti-love basis. I never got why everyone dumbs down what "love" is. Usually, they know nothing. If a guy can get tail from a girl, they are in "love". I know, that didn't start that good. This poem has an adorable factor in it. Yes, adorable. It shows how one is feeling emotions for another. It has this subtle sweetness that improves it a lot. I never really see that in poems. They just over do, "ERMAHGERD YOU"RE SAH PRETTY!!!". You never do that. It's a lot simpler than other poems, and sometimes that's all you need. Time to break down my favorite parts.
"Warning ~ I might sting like a bumble bee." I like that humor.
"When I'm with you, I have a great day." You're keeping it simple. That's what you need to do.
"Hey I think I love you." Over used, but.. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't." Bingo.
Overall, good job. Adorable, sweet, AND SIMPLE.
P.S You need to capitalize Violets.
Strange gives you...
8.01/10
Good job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my amigo
Awwwwwe thanks so much. To be honest, I don't even like this poem, this was a poem I wrote for Valentines Day a few years back. I'm glad you liked it, I hope you enjoy more of my work when I post them up.
Okay I won't be long.
Maybe you could go and reword a couple of sentences.
The poem was really good overall.
Hey I think I love you
Maybe I do or maybe I don't
You have to wait, you probably won't
This phrase could be reworded.
Other than that this is really good.
Thank you it means a lot and I actually don't even like this one I just put it up to see what people think of it
Hey Tiny here!
I just a few comments about this poem to help the over all flow.
It would flow better if maybe I do and maybe don't was separated into two lines.
separate Warning~ and I might sting like a bumble bee into two lines.
violets on the first line should be capitalized.
Over all this was a fantastic poem.
Rates: Grammar- 9/10
Spelling 10/10
Overall: 10/10
Keep writing