Do you remember the very first time that you saw a shooting star? Do you remember the feeling of total peace that you felt as you stared, watching as the star as it seemed to float across the sky with an almost unnerving silent grace. Was you ever told as a child to 'make a wish upon a shooting star?' I'm almost certain that most of you would have been told this at some point- In fact, I'm sure that most of us have been told this a multitude of times.
But what is a shooting star supposed to symbolise? Well, I'm here to tell you what a star, to me symbolises when it falls from grace.
To me, the stars remain one the only rays of hope left in the void. To me they are tiny little orbs of light that shine in an endless concave of darkness. It's like every star is a Sun just waiting to happen, imploding with cataclysmic forces to do so. They light up the world, even at the worst and darkest of times. To me every birth of a Star is our dreams- whilst the falling of a star is our hopes being fulfilled at last. To me they are a lone call for hope, help, love and prosperity. A look through time and age- past, present and future. When one dies, another piece of hope is reborn among the stars. Igniting the small fragment of our inner beings, our souls, reaching all the way down to the unbroken pieces, telling us their still there, awaiting there moment to spark.
Some say the void is our moment to die. You know when we "Enter the Void" Others say that in a small insignificant moment, such as a pebble breaking the surface of a endless ocean or star falling across the sky- That it could change time, for good, for bad and even for the restoration and faith in a losing humanity.
We can never know what a shooting star truly means, but we must never forget the beauty and wonder of what we are seeing. In that one, short second- the world seems truly insignificant and humanity just an insubstantial part of a much bugger picture. Nothing more than a tiny little blip on a much larger canvas.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey! Sofie here with a review
First off, this was a really great piece. You have a really distinct voice that's super poetic and has a really nice flow. There's something kind of nice about describing stars as "rays of hope". I think my favorite line has got to be "every star is a Sun just waiting to happen". That line is just brilliant.
If I could nick-pick anything you could work on, it might be to show more and tell less. For example, the last paragraph. "The beauty and wonder of what we are seeing". Maybe put that beauty and wonder into more words and describe it rather than just saying it? Oh, and in the first paragraph, make sure you correct "Was you ever told as a child" to "Were you ever told".
Other than those spots, I don't really see anything else you could work on. Overall, this was very nicely done! Hope to read more from you soon!
Instead of telling us about that peace, I think you could make us feel what peace feels like by using powerful description and imagery. It always makes for a better story. Since you're talking to a human being, you could maybe go into depth about how specific parts of the body feels when someone is at peace.
This is a nicely written narrative -- you have a distinct, strong voice that carries your writing well. The perspective on what shooting stars really are is something that's interesting to think about, which makes it also an interesting subject to write about. I had never thought about stars being the way you described them, being the only rays of light in an endless field of darkness. I enjoy stories that make you see ordinary things from an entirely new perspective like this one.
I'm unsure about the title -- it seems you picked it because it's the first line in the narrative, but I don't know if it actually describes what the story is about. From what I picked up about it, it's not so much about remembering anything, but realizing what shooting stars really represent. The second-to-last paragraph I feel like is the weakest -- not just because it has poor grammar, but because I don't know how much describing this "void" is necessary. It seems just to take up space so the narrative doesn't seem too short, and I really think you would've been fine without it.
But this was really good!! Thank you for sharing.
Hey there, liam212! I thought this was a really sweet piece, with a fairy-tale touch to it. However, I'm wondering if this is actually a chapter or just a short story? It works really well just by itself.
Was you ever told as a child to 'make a wish upon a shooting star?'
The correct term to use is 'were you ever told...'
To me, the stars remain one the only rays of hope left in the void. To me they are tiny little orbs of light that shine in an endless concave of darkness.
I really liked your imagery and metaphors used throughout this piece. There's some really lovely language used here.
Igniting the small fragment of our inner beings, our souls, reaching all the way down to the unbroken pieces, telling us their still there, awaiting there moment to spark.
In this sentence you say 'their still there' but it should say 'they're still there'.
The ending sentence was perfect, and this piece overall was very enjoyable to read. It painted lovely images in my imagination. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Dracula, I hope to turn this into a novel of shorts. All of them based upon the title 'do you remember.' Thank you for the critique. I always find feedback helpful.