Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Well...this was an interesting note to get a story started on here...certainly opens up a lot of questions about what may have happened to Kendal here, and it looks like a pretty strong friendship on display from the little bit of interaction we got. Also Kevin seems to be very spaced out there...
Anyway let's get right to it,
Walking to Kevins house thinking about what happened last night at Ethan's. It just all happened so fast. I didn't even sense it. Ethan is my boyfriend of all of four months.
When I arrived at Kevin's house his mom wasn't home so I just let myself in. Kevin and I have been best friends since we were in Kindergarten, his parents recently got divorced. He spent a lot of time at my house during that time. He's such a sweet heart and to see him upset all the time kill me.
Okay...interesting start there, a tiny bit confusing there at first glance, I think the way the sentences are structured there at the very beginning is in a tiny bit of a tangle, you might want to rephrase those just a tiny bit there. The second part is pretty nicely done there. It manages to get across some necessary background info while also making it seem natural to the flow of the story which is a great combination you don't see too often.
As I walked up the stairs of Kevin's house I could hear the TV and the video games he was playing.
" Bam Bam Boom "
" Yes!!" he screamed as I got closer. I entered his room and sat on his bed, he didn't even acknowledge that I was there.
Okay...well, that is quite typical of someone playing a video, and the bam bam boom also seems like your generic video game. Well...a relatively generic introduction here but even this first little scene of running into this person does tell you a little about what kind of personality he may have which is useful.
I sat on my phone for five minutes scrolling through twitter when I came across a tweet of Ethan's that said " Had a great time with my girl last night "
" That asshole!" I screamed. Kevin finally realized I was in his room. He came up to me, and kissed me on my head.
Okay...well that is an understandable reaction there, also wow, this man could have been robbed blind and he would not hear a thing. He should probably learnt to lock a door or two around the house if he's going to be quite this distracted, oh dear.
" Sorry cutie, didn't hear you come in."
Kevin and I have that kind of friendship where we "flirt" but won't date. He asked me what was wrong, but I didn't know if I should tell him..
Well, that certainly seems like a pretty wholesome friendship on first glance, when you start low key flirting with each other is when you know the two of you are really good friends, at least in my experience..xD
" Nothing, just Ethan's pissing me off" I said uncertain.
" I know you better than that Kendal, I know you went to see him last night, what happened?"
"Nothing Kev! I shouldn't have come here!"
Okay....so, they don't seem to want to tell him about this problem, which is interesting, cause I assume this is probably because Kevin himself is going through some tough times at the moment, cause otherwise, that does seem like the sort of problem you'd tell someone that was such a good friend....at any rate, it makes you wonder how terrible the previous night could've been.
I stormed out of his room with my brown hair blowing into my face as I got outside into the nice summer breeze.
" Ken come back please! I'm sorry." I could hear Kevin screaming as he ran through his yard. I jetted down the street back home.
Okayy...interesting note to end on their, almost seems to symbolise this one running away from their problems here...
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, a pretty neat start to a story that you've got here. I know that I would certainly read on from this point. Aaand I believe that is all I have to say here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 254538
Reviews: 4105
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