I wake up in the morning,
Put on my smiling face.
The one that's going to get me
through another day
Doesn't really matter,
How I feel behind this mask.
This life is like a game,
That we play like children in the dark.
Then you came around to help me,
The walls just disappeared.
Nothing to surround me
and keep me from my fears.
I'm as unprotected
As the flower that opens up.
You made me trust you,
Your arms around me tight.
I've never felt like this before,
I feel naked around you.
I know I've let my guard down.
You can see right through me,
and I can't hide any more.
I feel naked around you
but this time, it's right, I feel so sure.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,839 Reviews
I like it too, but yeah it does seem like something that came from Avril Lavigne.
Wow dat's deep.
This is plagiarism, which is completely and utterly banned in all forms, even if you've added some extra words.
*LOCKED*
Ah...
Well, the main problem here is that it seems like you've taken most of this from something that someone else has written. E.g. Naked by Avril Lavigne.
I wouldn't mind so much, but it's best if you say in your post, or it looks like you're just copying her work.
I can see some changes, but what spoils it for me, is that I automatically put the words to the tune, and not all of the new words fit so it just doesn't sound right.
Next time you post poetry, make sure it's original, and I'll make sure I take a look at it.
Kay
Imagery rocks.
You can preview the thing before you post it, the yellow hurt my eyes and it's like 6 AM and I'm getting ready for school and the first thing I read about it sex... You can also edit it. Wow...
Makes me miss the stuff but, it's like going off drugs or alcohol or smoking: It's all cold turkey from here.
I did like it, the title caught my eye.... but shouldn't there be 3 X's or something? Just wondering.
Thank you, sorry if the colours make it hard to read. xx
This is a good poem, I really liked it.
"I'm as unprotected,
As the flower that opens up."
i liked this because it is great imagination.
tis poem rocks!!!
love patrick