Published June 2, 2011
deleted
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hi there!
(Sorry, just a little hyper...) But, anywho, the review.

Review tiiiiime!
I really liked this poem. At first glance, the way it was written kind of made me not want to read it, but then I started reading it, and the way it was written actually complemented the poem and the feel you were trying to give off about your topic. Very nicely done!
Just a few little nitpicks. Nothing major though, I promise.
Overall, I loved this poem. I, personally, have had eating problems related to my image and stuff, and I'm underweight, so I can really relate to this poem a lot. The way you broke it up made it seem a bit choppy, but that added to the emotion that you were trying to get across to the reader, I think. Really nice job!
Take a look at the little grammar things I pointed out, and if you feel like it, maybe look at the one of two suggestions in there too.
Keep up the good work! Great poem!
-Emily
I like the topic, because I know it's a problem a lot of people have. Being a gymnast I personally have my own anorexic moments. Your real issues are all in the lack of punctuation and a couple misspells and such (like "accept" not "except"), but overall I thought this was good. Definitely got the message across, although I was kind of scratching my head thinking "well isn't losing weight in a healthy way like track a good thing?" Bulimia no, but exercise yes. Still, I liked this.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver
This was really good actually. I really enjoyed how you wrote it. You wrote about a good topic too. All in all, i say good job