What Happened.

Hello. And welcome here.

Er, first, the repetition was too much. It kills poetry when overused.

Anyway, you rhymed quite well. The poem flowed nicely.

You used simple vocabulary and that's really sweet cause it's like something you'd say in everyday conversations right? Except here it's in poetry which makes the lovey lines sweeter. However, I think the emotions here need to be concretized. As in they have to be described more and painted more vividly so I feel the emotions you're portraying here as well.

Anyway, great poem and again welcome. Keep writing.

Your poem is nice, we've all been there and asked the same questions. I hope you handle it better than I do. But for a bit of critique, as springrain2693 mentioned, the repetition is a bit to much. Also, you could expand on the end a bit more, answering your questions more in detail and explaining what happened more in detail, but that's just my personal opinion.

Yours Falsely,
RebellionLies

Awwwwwwwww! That was so sweet! I absolutely loved it!

Now onto the review:
There is really nothing I'd like you to change, except for the fourth line in stanza two, it felt sort of awkward for me. It felt kind of "overdone", if that makes any sense at all....................................................................................................................

Keep on writing!

Hey there Lauren Marie! I'm June, and I'm going to run over this for you .

Before I begin, I want to mention to you that YWS has a 2:1 ratio policy, which means that for every one piece of work you post, you should have submitted two reviews prior to that. This way, more people would want to review your work .

Here we go:

Often, in poetry, constant repetition is not liked. However, it can work, but it might bother people. It's not bothering me too much here, but, as a small suggestion, this poem could work without so much "What happened"s. For instance, you can easily take them out every-other-line (beginning in What happened) and continue on in that way, so that you have and alternate repetition working here. The choice is yours .

Aside from that! You have a perfect rhyme scheme going here, dear! That's perfect-- most of the time people stumble when they rhyme. It's not an easy thing to sustain . It takes talent to do that, good job.

A very nice poem, dear. Very straight to the point and sweet. Good job, and welcome to YWS!

June