FEELINGLESS

I walk through...

rain

shine

fog

snow

I feel...

sadness

depression

encouragement

laughter

I taste...

silvia

dirt

mango

effort

I smell...

nothing

I AM FEELINGLESS... SO BOYS IF YOU BREAK MY HEART I WONT CARE BECAUSE I AM FEELINGLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments & reviews · 5
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User avatar
blacktiger3915
Comment

I liked this poem. I wish there was more to it, but all in all, it was good. Keep writing! :D

User avatar
Azila
Review
Azila wrote a review · Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:35 pm

I agree with Elephantwalrus: you have a lot of emotion here, which is a very good start. But why stop there? Why not go on, and show us more imagery?

I'm not crazy about the ending. I think it would actually be more powerful if you didn't make it caps and only used one exclamation point. XD

I am sorry about your feelings!

I hope this helps.
~Azila~

Sorry for your suffering :(

You could do more with these ideas if you wanted to. If you played around with imagery, you could really bring what you are feeling to life and make it art. Just a thought.

Best, River

ouch...well, you asked me not to judge, so i won't. but did you mean to spell "saliva" instead of "silvia"?



The blood jet is poetry and there is no stopping it.
— Sylvia Plath