Young Writers Society

I liked this poem. I wish there was more to it, but all in all, it was good. Keep writing!

I agree with Elephantwalrus: you have a lot of emotion here, which is a very good start. But why stop there? Why not go on, and show us more imagery?

I'm not crazy about the ending. I think it would actually be more powerful if you didn't make it caps and only used one exclamation point. XD

I am sorry about your feelings!

I hope this helps.
~Azila~

Sorry for your suffering

You could do more with these ideas if you wanted to. If you played around with imagery, you could really bring what you are feeling to life and make it art. Just a thought.

Best, River

ouch...well, you asked me not to judge, so i won't. but did you mean to spell "saliva" instead of "silvia"?