Published June 11, 2005
I come from Minnesota,
Cold and Icy snow.
From Scorching summers,
To yellow hummers.
From bumping the volleyball,
Along the wall,
From two little brothers,
So funny and small.
I am from Cub Grocery Bags,
Full of goodies for me to snag.
Froma family of 5,
To a family of 8,
Lots of love,
And not much hate.
From birthday parties,
And long hot baths.
From doing lots of homework,
Including Math.
Lots of things is where I'm from,
Just as long as I have my bubblegum.
You'll soon come to see,
I am me,
And will be whoever,
I choose to be.
Kaitlyn
Let me know what you think. I love to hear thoughts on my poems.
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This needs a lot of work. I'm sure you can fix it up. At the moment you've got a load of sentences which could belong to anyone. Are we supposed to care about your life? Then make us care.
"From birthday parties,
And long hot baths.
From doing lots of homework,
Including Math."
I'm sure everyone in existence has done these things. You need to pick out the things about you which are special, that nobody else has done. Keep writing.
Normally I hate being blunt, and try (unsuccessfully) to be gentle. In this case I'm going to make an exception. There are three words that I think best describe this poem: bland, superficial, boring.
Cool your quite good you know that