Good job! You really built up the plotline and the drama. Not really much to say, it was good and well-written. Can't wait to read more!
z
Scott goes over to one of the control panels and types in some commands. A visual recording comes on the viewer, and a red background comes on with the traditional symbol of the LeClaire Empire in the center.
Amanda stands, staring at the screen, transfixed by the image she has seen all her life. An image of a man dressed in royal robes appears: the EMPEROR CLAUDIUS LECLAIRE.
EMPEROR LECLAIRE
Greetings, Sebastian. I am pleased to welcome you among our Inner Circle. We will reveal secrets to you that none outside of our organization has heard. When you come aboard Clairemont Prime, one of my most trusted envoys will meet you, and lead you to the meeting where you will take the oath of secrecy. Beware, Sebastian, that you do not let the coordinates of our gathering fall into enemy hands. Farewell.
The screen blinks off, leaving Amanda staring at it openmouthed. She turns to Scott, expecting an answer.
AMANDA
How did you get this?
SCOTT
You have heard of the Inner Circle.
AMANDA
Of course I have. My father planned on inducting me upon my nineteenth birthday.
SCOTT
This message was sent to my uncle, Sebastian, right before he died. I suspected that the cause of his death wasn't natural when I found this file, hidden in the computer archives. Somebody wanted this in order to spy on them, but apparently never found the file.
AMANDA
But you want to storm the meeting.
SCOTT
Can't. It already took place five days ago, but I've heard there's another one that will occur in three months. Just enough time to reach Clairemont Prime if we leave soon.
AMANDA
How do you know that?
SCOTT
There are other files hidden here. I'm guessing my uncle was the one who hid them in order to keep them secret. Even if anyone took the ship and attempted to repair it, most would have wiped the computer memory banks clean without bothering to check them. I did.
AMANDA
So you want to storm a meeting of the Inner Circle of the LeClaire Empire in three months, in this old bucket of bolts, and this will help your friends how?
SCOTT
We'll take your father captive. The guards would gladly exchange our friends to protect the emperor.
AMANDA
That would be impossible. The chamber is hidden deep underground with many soldiers guarding each and every hallway leading to the chamber.
SCOTT
You've been there?
AMANDA
I have. Once.
SCOTT
And there's no way we could get in?
AMANDA
Not a chance.
SCOTT
There aren't any hidden passageways or anything like that? There are, aren't there?
AMANDA
Yes. There is a way.
SCOTT
I knew it!
AMANDA
But I'm not telling you.
SCOTT
Why not?
AMANDA
I would commit high treason if I did.
SCOTT
You already committed high treason.
AMANDA
One that my father was unofficially able to overlook. That's why the bounty hunters that are supposedly tracking me down haven't been able to find me.
SCOTT
Really? So 'unofficially' your father still loves you and is trying to keep you safe?
AMANDA
(bitterly)
I guess, if you call the pathetic life I've been living, love.
SCOTT
Oh so you're saying that if you reveal how to enter the meeting place, he wouldn't love you anymore?
AMANDA
He made it clear to me that if I broke any more laws or did anything to attract attention to myself, he would have no choice but to allow the bounty hunters to find me. So as I said before, I can't help you. And if I think I know what's best for me, I'll be leaving.
Amanda turns away and starts out the door when a man by the name of WALCOX stands in her way. He is of average height, has black hair and a beard.
WALCOX
So, would I be correct in guessing that you be Manda?
AMANDA
Get out of my way.
WALCOX
Hold your horses there, missy. We haven't even been introduced.
SCOTT
Amanda, this is Walcox, the weapons guy I was telling you about.
AMANDA
I don't care. I'm leaving. Now please move!
WALCOX
Sorry, missy. No can do. We need you or else us and our friends are toast.
AMANDA
Too bad.
SCOTT
Walcox. Let her go.
WALCOX
But Cap' in we don't have a mission without her!
SCOTT
I said to let her go. We can't make her help us.
WALCOX
Yes we can!
SCOTT
Walcox. Who's the captain here?
Walcox reluctantly moves out of the way.
WALCOX
You are, cap' in.
As Amanda walks down the passage to exit the ship she hears Walcox grumbling.
WALCOX
Now's what we gonna do? Now Boren and Rojzin will rot away forever. And I don't get to try my Wacka Blaster.
Amanda stops in her tracks and rushes back in the bridge.
AMANDA
What did you say?
WALCOX
I said that I don't get to try my new Blaster.
AMANDA
No, before that.
WALCOX
Uh…somethin' about Boren and Rojzin rotting away.
AMANDA
(whispering)
Rojzin.
SCOTT
You know her?
AMANDA
Yes. I mean, I did. A long time ago.
SCOTT
How do you know it's the same Rojzin?
AMANDA
I've only heard of one Rojzin in my life, and one only one Rojzin sentenced to the Clairemont Prime Prison.
SCOTT
So you'll help us?
AMANDA
Yes. I will. What time are we departing?
SCOTT
Be here at 0700 hours. We’ll leave two hours after that. Meanwhile I suggest you pack up your stuff and get a good night’s sleep.
AMANDA
Don’t have much to pack, but I’ll be here.
WALCOX
Glad you changed yer mind, Manda.
AMANDA
(sarcastically)
Don’t worry; I didn’t do it for you.
Amanda leaves the ship.
Good job! You really built up the plotline and the drama. Not really much to say, it was good and well-written. Can't wait to read more!
Points: 890
Reviews: 62
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