Every time I look into the sky,
I see shades of grey,
Calm and violent,
But mostly it’s violent,
I see restless clouds,
Both white and grey,
But it’s just spots of white in endless greys,
The greys spoke more than the white ever could and ever will,
Yet it was never heard,
Or did the world choose to ignore,
The truth is unknown and unspoken of.
-K
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
Hey there! I sure love short poems. I find them to be the most powerful, because you say the most in such few words. I love the simplicity of this poem. You talk about looking into the sky, and seeing these shades of gray. They are both common and violent at the same time, but mostly violent. You talk about this mixture of white and gray in the sky and how gray say more than White ever will. Perhaps what is small and more rare is what holds the most truth. They are harder to find, but they stand out and they mean so much.
You speak of how truth is less spoken of, it says, if it it's harder to find, often going unnoticed by those who look at the sky. I feel like this can be applied to so much in life. Perhaps a friend who accepts you the way you are, or safe place to stay, or someone who loves you. There's so many ways that I could apply this to my own life. But overall, I found a lot of beauty in your words. They're overwhelmingly simple, but profound too. I found that it had an elegant tone and aesthetic look to it. I like how we finally get a period at the very end after all of the commas. I have to disagree with what other comments have said. I love how many commas you use. It makes it feel like the phone goes on forever and ever, until we finally get that rest at the very end. It is, if our heart has finally felt what needs to feel, and can finally rest for a moment, before continuing on with the day. That gives me a sense of stillness and completion, and a world that will never be complete. Fantastic work, and keep on writing.
Your friend,
Ellie
I like this! The imagery is vivid and I could picture everything really easily. As for criticism, not every line needs to end with a comma. Careful to not overuse them, and to end lines with the correct punctuation. Another small note is that, if you are American, the word gray is spelled with an A, not an E. My only other note is that I think the part that says “calm and violent, but mostly it’s violent” is a little bit clunky and could maybe be reworded in a more interesting way. But, beyond that, this was an enjoyable and concise read! Thank you for sharing. Good job!
Hello!
Ley here to review this piece for you!
First impressions...
This is going to be a rather short review because this is a rather short poem. I also immediately clicked on this piece because of the description: oh, how powerful our thoughts are when we get emotional!When I was reading this I felt...
Ethereal, intrigued. This poem seems like its up for interpretation, which I love. The best poetry is always the one that leaves the reader wondering.My favorite line/quote is...
Personifying the colours in the sky-- the greys and whites, was a perfect way to twist the poem in a different direction. I also imagined the colors speaking, the grey colour interacting with the whites. Wonderful job here!
Some things I would change would be...
I wouldn't change anything. Poetry is hard to critique-- information and text wise-- so I usually only critique grammar and formatting. I couldn't find any issues with that here!Overall...
This was a wonderful read. I can't wait to read more of your work! <3With Love,
Leya
Good afternoon writer and a belated welcome to YWS! Cupid here, I thought I'd fly over a short review for you!
First off, your words painted such a dreamy picture of the sky! 🎨 Every time I read "Every time I look into the sky, I see shades of grey," it's like I'm right there, gazing up with you. The mix of calm and violent tones? Genius! It's like the weather's having a serious mood swing, and we're here for it!
And those restless clouds? Totally relatable! Both white and grey, dancing like they've got something important to say. "Spots of white in endless greys" – wow, such a poetic way to describe those little moments of purity in the middle of life's chaos. 🕊️✨
Also the line: "The greys spoke more than the white ever could and ever will, Yet it was never heard."
That hit me right in the feels! 〒▽〒 It's like you're shining a spotlight on the voices that deserve to be heard, but sometimes the world just doesn't lend an ear.
The ending lines? "Or did the world choose to ignore, The truth is unknown and unspoken of." Whoa! It's like you're leaving us with a mystery to unravel. What's the truth? Why is it kept in the shadows? Questions, questions!!
Overall, your poem is like a cozy chat with a friend under a starry sky. 🌠 It's got that personal touch, and I can feel your emotions peeking through each line. Thanks for sharing this piece of your heart, and I hope to see more of your writings, and again a belated welcome to Yws, we're happy to have you here!!
Fly high writer, Cupid. 💘