Published November 25, 2009
Don't want to drown,
no one is ever around.
I can't fight this feeling anymore,
don't want to get stuck in this war.
Unless I know it's worth fighting for,
wondering if it's the right door.
have to be careful when I go through,
I'm tired of getting screwed.
Always feeling blue,
know one has ever been true.
Can't go on much longer,
my weaknesses are getting stronger.
Like a leaf.....
Falling from a tree
slowly......
I can only go so far down,
until I am 6ft.beneath the ground
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140,638 Literary Works • 673,576 Reviews
no one
six feet
Besides that, it was a pretty good piece. Your rhyming scheme was nice, and it definitely conveyed the emotions of sadness, but I didn't get the story. She just sounded like a depressed girl to me. What was this war she was fighting? (though I'm sure its hypothetical, try elaboration)
I get her tale of descent, but I want more motivation.
Besides that, great job. *stars*
Empress
This poem sends a message. I really like it, you really put yourself out there. The title fits it, which is kind of hard to do sometimes. The title really sums all of the pain up in a bag. Good work. Keep writing! :]
Wow...I really really liked this. Its deep, and i can feel the vibes coming off it. Good job!
~Shaard
The rhyming really caught my attention.
Just reading it, i could feel the vibe of it.
I really like the ending also.
I love the potential.
This was a really profound poem. It really kinda hit me home. I love the rhyme scheme, it gives it a great feel, since not a lot of poems on here have rhymes. But I really liked it. I could really feel the pain and despair the narrator was going through. It was really awesome. Great work!