Blank Page

Hey!

Okay, the first thing that struck me as the page loaded was the presentation. The central alignment kind of threw me off here, and I didn't see any significant reason for it. A left-alignment would work better.

Now, the concept here is great. It's a good idea for a poem, and the thoughts and insights you give your reader sort of work. But there's something missing in the delivery, like there's not really much emotion at all. I mean, don't get all weepy about a blank piece of paper, of course, but try to put something into it. For a writer, the blank piece of paper might be a thrill, as if the start of an adventure that could go anywhere. It could be a shock, as if it has to be filled as quickly as possible. There are a lot of ways you can play with emotion, even though the subject is something so objective.

Your description is lovely. But again, it's a little lacking in emotion. I can see what you're telling me, but I can't feel it. I want to be excited, feel the adrenaline rush of going where nobody has ever gone before. There's so much you could make me feel here, but all I'm getting is a cold sort of emptiness.

Otherwise, I can tell that you've worked hard on this, and I think that it's just the emotion that's lacking. So I hope I helped, and if there's anything more I can do, please don't hesitate to PM me, and I'll be happy to help you out.
~Grin

Cool poem! I like the concept, I write about it as well. Imagery was fantastic, the ink and the "crimson margin", "colorless marble". Really epic description. The structure is pleasing and the subtle rhyming keeps it pleasant to read.

"Like staring down a gun's barrel" Perfect analogy.

*likes*