• Home

Young Writers Society

E - Everyone

To my Ex best friend

by kittywizard000

To my ex-best friend it's been a year since we talked... face to face I mean. You somehow thought it would be funny to say a rude thing to me, no not to me I mean to someone else behind my back of course.

To my Ex best friend you were kind, loving, sweet.

To my Ex best friend you said you helped me through everything I was going through and I should be more like you.

To my Ex best friend I listened to you sob and cry and I held you when no one else would because they were afraid.

To my Ex best friend I called you every day to see how you were doing just to make sure you were okay.

To my Ex best friend you were so caring and smart I envied you.

To my ex-best friend you were my role model I didn't expect you to be so cruel to me.

To my Ex-best friend please I beg you don't ask me to be your friend again because I might seem weak now still but I am strong and I will say no.

You see, I was always the glue to our friendship the one trying to keep it together but I realized that was unhealthy.

I saw you have a stronger relationship with other people than we have ever had and I had to say goodbye.

Remember that day I was falling down, and you came over to sit with me you dropped all your plans... No oh yeah sorry that was me.

Remember when you asked me to hang out but then, later on, I bailed on you because you were a bit depressed that day... Nope again sorry that was me who made the plans that was you who bailed cause I was depressed.

To my Ex best friend.

You were my role model until I saw the real side of you the one who would think of me as a mistake when I had in anxiety attack, the one who thought it was okay to call me names the one who thought they could push me into doing stuff because I already felt so low about myself what even mattered.

But now I know your state of mind and I know I was the stronger one who walked away.

To my ex-best friend you are kind but you only show it to some people

To my ex-best friend you are loving but when it came to me you thought it would be fun to mess with my head.

To my ex-best friend, you are sweet but not to the people who needed you the most.

To my Ex-best friend I hope that one day you will feel better about yourself I hope that one day you can accept that everyone goes through stuff.

I hope that one day you become a better friend to those around you.

I hope that one day you can look at yourself and forgive yourself.

I hope that one day you can have that emotion that you never had when being friends with a messed up girl like me.

Dear Ex best friend I will never forget you but I can forgive you so here it goes.

Dear Ex best friend I forgive you and everything you have done to me.

Dear Ex best friend you are forgiven. 

Is this a review?



User avatar

Points: 0
Reviews: 0


User avatar
151 Reviews

Points: 3592
Reviews: 151

Thu Jun 01, 2017 3:17 pm
View Likes
Junel wrote a review...

Hey there I really enjoyed your poem and found it to be very impactful to me.

First off I wanted to point out a spelling mistake so you can fix it.

day I was felling down, and

should be falling

Also, the majority of lines are capitalized at the beginning, but there are a few which aren't is this on purpose, if not you should just quickly fix that too.

Finally, there are some places that a comma would help this poem flow better because you have a few really long sentence.
would be funny to say a rude thing to me no not to me I mean to someone else

I think a comma here would be great because I had to re-read this sentence before I could understand it.

OK, all the grammar aside I really enjoyed reading your poem. It has a strong topic and you address it in a great way. The ending is very powerful too because of how you are saying all the bad things this person has done and yet they are forgiven. It kept me engaged and interested until the end and then made me think afterward which is a great way for a poem to be. I think the length is good, because any longer and you might be rambling, but shorter might leave some stuff out.
Anyway, I hope to see more great stuff like this around so keep writing and I hope this review is helpful to you!
Sláinte - Junel

kittywizard000 says...

Thank you so much I will be editing soon thanks.

User avatar
67 Reviews

Points: 152
Reviews: 67

Thu Jun 01, 2017 1:20 pm
View Likes
Charlotte2 wrote a review...

Heya, was just going through the poems and I felt like reading this one.

The style, I find, is unique, but matches the subject matter well. It feels like it's quite random, in a way, that's the best way, of putting it, but as the poem is very expressive, and feelings come upon people randomly, it works. I like how the poem almost goes through a journey. It goes through each feeling, which makes it interesting to read.

Just a couple of things to give it that extra touch. There were a couple of spelling mistakes (obviously very minor and easy to fix but without them, the poem will read better). Also, I think perhaps a little more punctuation will benefit it as sometimes the long sentences become a little hard to follow. The length is a little too long for me, but that's probably something to do with my personal preference.

But overall, nicely done. It's a passionate poem, and passion is exactly what you need to write a good poem, as you have done here. The best thing is that it kept me engaged, as I do have a tendency with a lot of poetry to stop halfway through, but I wanted to read the whole thing with this one. It also resonated with me quite a lot, as I have difficulties like this quite a lot at the moment, and they are definitely hard, so it did capture something there for me.

Well done!

kittywizard000 says...

Thanks this means a lot!!!!!

*Sad football bagpipes*
— DougalOfBiscuits