Published June 28, 2010
Forever is an understatement,
love is just a small piece of my feelings for you.
Drugs are useless for you keep me at a high forever.
All I need is your love; all else is blind.
For my feelings are undying forever.
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140,620 Literary Works • 673,561 Reviews
Hey there~
This was really short and didn't really get into the feelings of undying love. Really all there was was a few metaphors, but no real feelings. It would be better if you stretched it and expanded a bit. Like everyone else said, it's alright, but nothing too special.
Hey,
As poems in this genre go, this is okay.
I liked it, but i can't see how it relates to the title, and where it does, it doesn't enough.
I also I think you should write more personally.
Keep at it
PM for any advice!
~Retro disco666
Hiya KitRose! I'm Selene, and I shall be your reviewer for today. ^_^
So you really didn't give me much to work with here. :/ Well, I'll give it a shot.
Nit-Picks:
Put 'to' between "you" and "keep". I kind of got what you were saying here, but I'd explicate it in a better way.
I'd take out for or add it to the prior sentence.
Overall:
The theme in itself is very trite. Undying Love is used over and over by writers, so why not put an interesting twist on it? Otherwise it's just like any other poem, nothing special.
It's okay, but it certainly can be better. Add a twist and your readers will thank you.
If you have a question, feel free to PM me.
~Selene