Cloud You

I thought that that was pretty sweet. I liked the whole "cloud 9" "cloud you" thing. It was totally an original poem, and that's what made it so awesome.

To go on with life without you seems like a terrible crime.

This is basically my only quarrel with it. The line seems to have too many syllables and messes with the rhythm.

and the feelings real.

Oh and this too, just a little thing, should be "feeling's".

Anyway, great poem. I liked it a lot.

This is a neat poem, I like it. Oceans and clouds... they make me think of summer.

Ocean and seas the waves wash me,
Salt drowns my lungs and I've lost my will to fly.
To go on with life without you seems like a terrible crime.
I'd love to stay forever, high above the waves...
Dreaming of clear skies,
and forever endless days.

The first line in red I found a little confusing. Maybe you meant "Ocean and seas and waves wash me," because the "the" doesn't really fit in there. The lines in blue are the ones I like a lot. The rhyme of those lines is very nice and fits in the poem very well.

It's like that sometimes high up on cloud 9,
with you it's how I feel,
and the feelings real.

I don't really understand the "cloud 9" thing... maybe I'm missing something.

On cloud you is all I need,
forever we'll be an endless dream.

These are nice ending lines. I think I understand what you're saying with the "on cloud you" part, but maybe just "Cloud you is all I need" would be a better way to say that.

Great work and keep writing!