My Home

by kitkatqt16

Published April 28, 2011

I'm sitting on the grassy floor of the earth,
the leaves above me slowly rustle.
The earth is constantly changing,
moving, growing, living.
I look at the bright blue sky,
and ponder the life that is mine.
This world holds so much beauty,
I take the time to appreciate it.
This life is my own,
this world is my home.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Soulkana
Review
Soulkana wrote a review Review · May 1, 2011

I love this Kit Kat!!! Like it reminds me of Spring and of the Earth and it makes me truly happy haha. It is sort of bland but like in your other poem I offer my assistance if you wish to call upon it ^^ I'm here to help!!! Keep up the good work and you'll improve in time. Just keep writing and you'll get there so no worries^^. I'm here at all days of the weeks so no worries. I love this and keep up the good work. I hope to see more from you soon. I hope you receive many helpful reviews and that you improve greatly in your time here!!! Best of wishes and love the profile picture!!!
Soulkana<3

User avatar
jillygirl Review
jillygirl wrote a review Review · Apr 30, 2011

Okay little sis---here we go. I liked this poem, but I think it lacks a bit of imagination. Sorry...I love you...but true. It is really good, but slightly bland. Here are some of the things I might change.

I'm sitting on the grassy floor of the earth,
the leaves above me slowly rustle.

The earth is constantly changing,
moving, growing, living.
I like the idea of this line, but it lacks a little bit of something. Maybe try a little rewording to make it flow better.

I look at the bright blue sky, Ok. Everyone knows that the sky is blue. Perhaps you'd like to change it just a little into something less obvious.

and ponder the life that is mine. I really like this line. Great job
This world holds so much beauty,
I take the time to appreciate it.
This life is my own,
this world is my home.

Other than that, I think it is wonderful! Great Job, and keep up the great work. And don't worry...do what you like. You don't have to change anything that you like...its just an opinion!

User avatar
freewritersavvy
Comment
freewritersavvy commented Comment · Apr 28, 2011

Very pretty! It reminds me of spring.

~FW~



I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened of old ones.
— John Cage