Published October 21, 2011
Little Boy Wild Imagination
As I walk passed the witch and her brew,
I can’t help but think of mom’s homemade stew.
The pumpkin sits glowing on the porch steps at night,
Then the bats begin to take flight.
I hear them in my dreams so dreary,
I wake up feeling really weary.
The orange lights on our house aglow,
Lighting the way fo the little trolls.
The porch at night scares me around Halloween,
Maybe not when I’m older, for I’m only fourteen.
I feel the witches eyes watch me go by,
After I close the curtinas I think then they fly.
Along with the bats, cats, and warlocks,
I hide in my room with windows tightly closed and blocked.
One day they’ll attack, I know that it’s so,
Maybe my imagination needs to just go?
After they go away for another year,
Soon Santa Clause will be coming near.
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I wrote this on a spur of the moment. Hope it sounds good and nay feedback please let me know! Thanks
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there is no reasonable transition from the spooks to the spirited nature of Santa ClausThis ensures two things: no annoying comments about minor errors and you become a more talented writer.
In addition to this, you should always have a mini-review after every couple lines. I have noticed in my poetry and other written arrangements, I do occasionally make a minor error, usually involving a misspelled word, or grammatical error.
See you around. Overall an o.k. poem.
I really liked this but I agree, you should reread your work.
I still really liked this, it was cute and it made me smile. Another thing I wondered if he's fourteen wouldn't he not believe in Santa Clause? But I liked that aspect too, it showed that even if you're older you can still believe in childish things. I know I do. Haha. Great job! Four owls out of five.
How's it a great poem if it doesn't make sense? Or are you meaning just that one line? As I posted, I quickly wrote this . I'm a super fast typer so I get little boo-boos. lol.
I like this poem because it also tells a short story along with the poem. I love poems that rhyme more than I love poems that don't, so I really love this. What I think you should work on is your grammar.
For Example:
"After I close the curtinas I think then they fly" I'm guessing you meant "curtains" but when your a writer, you have to go back and check if you made any mistakes before you rush to the end. If you read it over, it really doesn't make sense. Aside from that, great poem. I'm looking forward to seeing more.