Those Pretty Little Monsters.

by kellydawn

  • Poetry

Published February 12, 2012

There are Pretty Little Monsters that ruin my life.
Like a killer, they threaten me with guns and knives.
They possess my own hands to do terrible things,
Like break mirrors and cut gashes into my wrists ‘til they sting.

They tell me that pretty isn’t good enough.
I must strive to be gorgeous, but it really is tough.
I do my makeup, fix my hair,
Find cute clothes, but they don’t care.
Because it’s useless, they think. I might as well sink
To the bottom of the ocean where I’ll get killed in a blink.

Those pretty little monsters know that it’s tough.
But they still think just pretty isn’t good enough.
Comments & reviews · 2
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annaseale1998
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annaseale1998 commented Comment · Feb 12, 2012

Wow! I really liked this! It reminds me of 'Pretty Little Liars', the TV show. The rhythm is great, the rhyming too. The only part I didn't like was "Eaten by sharks, gouged by sting rays, They’ll be happy to watch, really any day." It feels a bit passive to me, with all these horrible things happening to 'you' in this poem, but it's like you don't really care when you say 'They’ll be happy to watch, really any day.' Maybe try replacing that with something else like "They're always watching, every day". Obviously I'm not ordering you to change it to that, but that feels a bit more like the narrator hates the monsters. I hope you found that helpful! Great poem :)
-Anna

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kellydawn
kellydawn replied · Feb 17, 2012

Thank you so much (:
It's funny cause that's the only part of the poem that didn't sort of just spill out into words.Like, I literally struggled to put those words out there. Now, I decided to rid of it completely. It just doesn't work for me. I love your feedback however. :b



Writing is the geometry of the soul.
— Plato