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Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

The Adventures of Rose Hood Chapter 16: The Dragonet of Death

by keeperofgaming


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

“I thought you said we were numbered at 9?”

“Did I say dragons? No, we are at 10 dragons, but in terms of siblings we are 9.”

“Tricky.”

“What’s she like?”

Thalia had a sad smile.

“I guess I could still be an aunty.”

“Thalia, listen I’m sure you could use your skill again, maybe even find a mate here.”

“Maybe.”

“At least there’s hope.”

We all nodded. Dragons were so close to extinction that our father and mother were the last. Even as battle hungry as they were, they hid for 1000 years, trying to raise many dragons. The fact that one of us now had offspring meant we had hope.

“How old is she?”

“She’s almost 10 now.”

“That’s so cool, I want to meet her.”

“I’m sure she’ll challenge you to a duel.”

“Way too young.”

“Hah, you’re probably the only one who’d say that.”

“I guess.”

From birth I had to fight to survive, in a nest is far more dangerous than you’d imagine. From the get-go, I had to spar Ravi, the strongest of us. I lost and was almost killed. I had to hunt my own food and build shaky alliances. My other siblings took to the lifestyle and would likely put their children through the same training.

“When I nest, my kids will live kind lives.”

“You are an odd dragon.”

We shared a laugh.

“But, no I did let her have a year to get her bearings before I started training. My wife was shocked.”

“I’d imagine.”

“What’s the kid’s aspect?”

“Necrosis if you’ll believe it. The polar opposite of me.”

“Huh, so she’s strong.”

“Yep.”

Necrosis, or death magic, was forbidden in many nations, but as it was a draconic aspect, there wasn’t much the elves could do, especially after Elren explained that disallowing a dragon to use their aspect was like stopping them from breathing.

“She focuses on killing, not revival, but we’ve found that if we mix our aspects, we can fully revive the dead.”

“Incredible.”

“Yep, anyway we should head in now.”

A guard stood at the gate.

“Your majesty, who are these people.”

“My siblings, I’ve invited them to stay for a bit.”

“Yes, sir!”

The gates opened and we went inside.

“Daddy!”

A small girl ran at Elren with a wide grin, but all 3 of us noticed the attack.

“She is young.”

“And inexperienced.”

Elren grabbed his daughter’s arm and flipped her, making the knife fall and bounce off of her neck.

“If that were enchanted, you’d be dead. Be more careful and hide your stance better. A surprise attack will never work otherwise.”

“I get it.”

“I’ll never understand a dragon’s form of raising a child. Who are these?”

An elven woman stepped out. She was beautiful.

“Love, these are my sisters, Thalia and Rose.”

“Ah, more fools going around naming dragons?”

“I guess.”

“I actually named myself.”

Thalia spoke up. I was kind of surprised. Naming a dragon takes a lot of mana usually, but a dragon naming themself would take almost all of their mana.

“Well, who named you, little one.”

“Sir Royce of Selethon.”

“A Kingsguard? Did he know you were a dragon?”

“Yes, he did.”

“Wow, he must have trusted you a lot.”

“Actually, he didn’t know that naming a dragon was different from naming others.”

“Ah... so he’s an idiot.”

“Ignorance isn’t idiocy El.”

Me and Thalia smirked.

“El?”

“Doe, please call me Elren or my siblings will mock me.”

“Then call me Doleaira.”

That’s a mouthful.

“Dolorea”

“No, Doleaira, Doe-lee-air-a.”

“Complicated.”

“Yes, my parents have odd naming senses.”

“Is the kid Eldo, or Renaira.”

“That second one is actually good, but no, her name is Alice.”

Thalia looked shocked.

“She’s named that young?”

Elren shrugged.

“Doe insisted, said that it was odd that I wasn’t going to name my own daughter.”

“He never explained why dragons do that.”

I spoke diplomatically,

“Dragons do it for a few reasons, the first is so your attention to details is better. For example, I am an arcane dragon, but I am red like Thalia. With names, they wouldn’t need to have many descriptors to tell us apart, but as we didn’t have names they had to determine what minute differences to call us for based on appearance. Elren, for example, called me cat, as my human form was a catkin, instead of the typical elf or human, while he called Thalia, Crimson, because her scales were slightly darker than mine.”

She started nodding as she understood a bit.

“We also do it as a symbol of strength, once the young one either matures through combat or defeats their father and mother, they will be named.”

“So, it’s essentially to show strength if you actually have a name.”

“Yes, think of it as being admitted to a famous battle school, you need to complete a challenge only using what you know of the style of fighting they teach. Being named greatly increases the dragon’s strength, so we do it so we know we are worthy of even having names. Dragons see it as names are a privilege.”

She suddenly has a question.

“Is it also dragon tradition to tell a 1-year-old, on her birthday mind you, that she is not to be treated as a princess anymore, needs to hunt for her own food, and gain a reputation as powerful?”

Thalia turned to Elren in shock. Doleaira smiled until Thalia said something she didn’t expect.

“Man, you spoiled her.”

“What?”

“You waited a full year to do that? I’d at max give them a week.”

“I told you I gave her a year to get her bearing already.”

“I thought you were exaggerating. A full year of lazing? That's how you get a weak dragon.”

Doleaira was confounded. She looked at me.

“I’m with you on this one.”

“That’s cause you’re young.”

Both siblings reached the same conclusion at the same time.

“Hey!”

They snickered, then my niece went up and said,

“Daddy, this lady is the one that won the tournament.”

“You won? I thought a dragonslayer won the capital tournament.”

“I used my aspect, and they thought I killed a dragon to get it.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”

“Are you my aunty?”

“Yes, I am, as hard it is to believe for me that Greeny got a mate.”

“Hey, Elren, not Greeny!”

Doleaira covered a laugh,

“Greeny?”

“He was the only green one.”

“Ah.”

“Aunty, I wanna fight you.”

“You’re too adorable to fight.”

“You’re not that much older, I’ll beat you.”

“Maybe. I’m pretty sure I’d die of cute before your magic.”

“Hah, cuteness is my secondary weapon.”

“It is?”

Thalia and Elren looked confused and Doleaira looked hopeful.

“Yeah, I look cute and then when they least expect it, I rip out their spleen and eat it!”

Doleaira sighed as Thalia and Elren cheered. Great, another battle junky.

“Do you use cuteness in the same way?”

“No, I use it to lose suspicion.”

“Ah.”

She was nodding, maybe she understo-

“Then you rip off their legs.”

“No-”

“That makes sense.”

“No, I don’t like killing.”

“Ah...”

My niece looked at me with curiosity.

“How many kills.”

“5.”

“Lame.”

“What do you mean lame?!”

“I already have over 100 kills.”

“Ah...”

My niece was no longer interested in me and went over to Thalia.

“I have over 99900.”

“I like this aunt.”

Nooo. My adorable niece is too far gone. Her mother was annoyed and looked at me.

“I understand you need 100000 lives to mature, but why not do it peacefully and wait 1000 years.”

“Dragons are battle junkies regularly. We fight since birth and therefore, with the exception of me, we fight to age.”

She nodded a tired nod as a man rushed in.

“Sire!”

Elren immediately went serious.

“What is it?”

“There is a wolfkin, he wants to speak to you.”

“Does he have a name?”

“Yes, it’s Sir Royce of Selethon.”


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972 Reviews


Points: 81
Reviews: 972

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Sun Apr 07, 2024 5:21 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the possessed S‘more?

Top Graham Cracker - Rose and Thalia meet Alice, the dragonet of death, a kill-obsessed girl, and someone who is ready for battle.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to put in a question mark when the guard asks how Thalia and Rose are, but if not, then ignore this.

Chocolate Bar - Alice!!! I love the introduction of Alice, she seems like a murder-happy dragon, I like that. She’s vicious and adorable, the perfect combination. I certainly cannot wait to see more of Alice, I think that she’s a great character.

Closing Graham Cracker - Rose has met another member of her family, she’s going to have more allies, and she’ll be having more time to train. Her journey is extensive, but I believe that she’ll be alright.

I wish you an amazing day/night! ^v^




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231 Reviews


Points: 40897
Reviews: 231

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Tue Mar 26, 2024 2:35 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

Ah, this chapter was hilarious and adorable! The conversation about family between the siblings, toward the beginning, was a great way to start off the chapter and lay a foundation for what was ahead. I love Alice's character already too. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

As far as corrections and recommendations, not much to put here! I would say, now that you have groups of three, four, or five people in a conversation, instead of honing in on individual interactions, it is getting a little bit harder to keep track of who's talking. Again, if specific dialogue tags are out of the question, I would recommend a few more notes on body language or environment to be a cue. And this could only target the few more generalized lines. Here, for example, I can absolutely tell it's Rose who's talking because this is something only she would say:

“I used my aspect, and they thought I killed a dragon to get it.”


Whereas this line came from Elren in the middle of an exchange between Rose and Doleaira, so for a second, I thought it may have been Doleaira showing an unexpected feisty side:

“Ah... so he’s an idiot.”


Again, not the end of the world as you can decipher as you read, it's just something I noticed. And of course, I am not a professional, so please take that with a grain of salt ~

Why The Grin Widened...

Okay, where to begin?

First of all, this response from Thalia, in the beginning, made me empathize even more with her character and what she's been through as far as her family and Galswell's destruction of it.

Thalia had a sad smile.

“I guess I could still be an aunty.”


Followed by Elren and Rose trying to reassure her that things will get better, and she can start a new life in this nation, it creates a really precious moment that gives the reader a lot of hope for her character.

Rose giving us an explanation why the dragon naming system is so unusual felt well-timed and explained a lot in the story thus far, so I'm really glad you put that information in there. It also helped show Doleaira's curiosity about dragon nature, despite obviously having some...critiques, haha. That also makes me think Elren hasn't spoken much about it, which makes me curious; I mean, could easily be nothing, but I wonder if being so accepted in this nation has led him to embrace a more Elven lifestyle for himself, despite raising his daughter like a dragon.

Turning off theory brain now, lol; as a mentioned, Alice is great! Not only does her ability sound awesome, but the way she wants to spar with everybody, and thinks Rose is lame for not having a low kill count, definitely reminds me of what a young dragon would be like. And this moment had me laughing to myself:

“Yeah, I look cute and then when they least expect it, I rip out their spleen and eat it!”


Not only this line, but the reactions from the adults -Thalia and Elren's pride and Doleaira's disappointment- was really funny and made for a great moment. Loved that. Close to that point, Rose's response to this behavior made it even better.

Nooo. My adorable niece is too far gone. Her mother was annoyed and looked at me.


And, moving on, that cliffhanger was an unexpected but exciting way to end this chapter. I really do wonder what Rose will have to say to him, and vice-versa.

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, great chapter, nicely done! :)

Image






For the ah, so he's an idiot. That was actually Doleaira.

Thanks for the review





Wait, never mind. I'm stupid, it was Elren



RavenAkuma says...


Lol, no worries, I picked up on it quickly :)




A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language.
— W.H. Auden