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Different Dimentions

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Chapter 1

My name is Kirsty Smith. I am currently 15 years old, I think? Where I come from we don't celebrate birthdays only that when the 16th year of your life arrives you get taken for a test to determine if the war that lasted 20 years has had an effect on you. It was a terrible war that started in two country's. Irkdown and Fandale started fighting over new and improved technology that Dorgrove had created, which of course Irkdown wanted, but Fandale wasn't going to let them have it because Irkdown wanted to start a war with Endwater. Even though the war with Irkdown and Dorgrove didn't happen there was still a war because of Fandale's resistance to let Irkdown have the technology. The war had many effects on the country's surrounding them including my beautiful small country called Endwater. Even though the war on Endwater didn't happen it still took a beating from the 20 year war. Endwater is tiny compared to Irkdown and Fandale which is why it is so different looking now just after 20 years of war. Even though I was not around before the war my parents show me pictures of bright green fields and trees reaching into the sky. There was people sitting on a blanket with a basket of food in front of them. The gleaming light of the sun and bright blue sky with no clouds at all. It is so different now there is no sunlight thanks to the dome covering Endwater because the ozone layer was damaged thanks to the nuclear bombing in the last 10 years. What was once a beautiful country is now covered in creates and the ground is dyed red with those who have lost their lives fighting for our freedom, or from the nuclear repercussions causing the population to be cut down in half so this country now, once full, is now virtually a graveyard and those who are left tend to leave if they can. The only time you can leave Endwater is when your 16 and you take the test to see what country would would be best fitted in and if you have been effected by the war. If you do decide to move you will have to leave your family, friends and become an initiate into that country's society. I will have to complete the initiation if I want to stay in that country.

There are only 4 country’s left in this world the first is where I came from Endwater it is basically a land of emptiness and suffering and we strive to help everyone who lives there and share everything we earn and have just to survive. Endwater you only stay there if you have nowhere else to go. The second is Fandale this is the country that stopped the war by defeating Irkdown and Dorgrove, this is basically the country for people who don't want to be the victim of anyone's war. They fight and train to prevent any and every threat of a war. Fandale main job is being the protector so they are mainly policemen and women. Then you have Arkstoke they grow most of our crops and farm the land and they feed the people left in the world. They normally keep to themselves as they don't want to be involved in another war should one arise. Then there is Fenbrook they are always making new technology and trying to help us get better, they supply our doctors, nurses and teachers.

I am really apprehensive about taking part in this test tomorrow as I worried it will tell me I have to leave my family and my friends. I am also scared that it will tell me that the war has effected my genes. I am sad because I want to leave Endwater I don't feel I belong here any more. I feel that I have out grown myself here and there is no way I can improve myself or skills in Endwater. The only downfall with this discovery is I will never see my parents ever again. By this time my head is spinning and I'm not sure whether to stay for my family and be miserable, or leave everything I know and take a chance by leaving in order to be happy. This could make or break me depending on what the test says. If the test tells me there is something different about my genes I may be hunted just like the rest of the population or I will be kept like a test subject and be constantly tested. I think I will rely on the test and see what it tells me hopefully that will make the decision much easier however it could make the decision so much worse. I shall wait till tomorrow to determine whether my life will change for the better or the worse!

Chapter 2

The day of the test I get up, put on my best clothes which are jeans with holes in the knees, where I have worn them out, and a white t-shirt which has a ripped sleeve and is too small for me, but this is the best I owned. I look in the mirror I don't look 16 because of the clothes and upbringing I have had to endure in Endwater. I tie up my hair into a ponytail and it reaches the middle of my spine. I have a scar on my arm the shape of a branch from a tree which is from the fire that tore through our village so I am very self conscious about having my arm on show. Before I go to school to take the test I go next door to my neighbours. There house is an exact replica to mine small, box shaped building which was once white but now looks a dark shade of pink. I knock on the door and Mrs James comes to the door. Mrs James is a kind women with blond flowing hair and she always seems to have a smile on her face. Mrs James has 3 children one who is 20, one who is 18. They both decided to stay in Endwater with her, but her youngest who is 17 I haven't actually met because he left Endwater 2 years ago when he was 15. I speak to her politely “Hello, If I am asked to leave due to the results of the test could you look after John and Lynn (My parents) for me?”

She say kindly “Certainly it would be our pleasure, especially after everything your parents have done for us and our family.”

“Thank you” I say and I turn around and go back to my house. When I enter my house my parents have made breakfast and are waiting for me in the kitchen. My mother who could be beautiful if she hadn't lived throughout the war. She has many scars on her hands, arms and face from the fire that ripped through our last village taking everything from us including my brother Luke. Luke was 10 months older than me we would have been in the same year at school, if he didn't die 1 year ago today. He and I would be in the same situation of taking the test and deciding our fates. Sometimes he would be the only one I could talk to without getting judged about what I said. Luke could have been handsome one day. Luke had short brown hair and big brown eyes and his smile always made everything seem not as important. If he didn't put himself between the fire and me and my mother he may still have been here. He died a hero saving my life and my mothers, but at a cost for his own life. My mothers scars emotional and physical still burden her even after all this time. My father hasn't been the same since he was injured mining 2 years ago he is a spitting image of my brother except my brother had both of his arms. My father only has one arm because of an accidental rock slide in the mine where he worked. My father did save Mrs James' two sons who still live in Endwater but at a cost of one of his arms. Even though Mrs James' sons are 18 and 20. The 18 year old son is called Steve and his older brother is called Roger. This is why I am so sad if I have to leave my parents and friends because I am the one helping them to live their life. On the other hand I have to leave because I see my brother everywhere I go and I need to move on...

Chapter 3

I go to get the bus stop so I can go to the school where the tests are being held for my country. The bus only has 5 people on it as school is closed today except for those being tested which means there is at least 6 of us waiting for our fates to be decided. The journey on the bus is long and bumpy as the bus has to avoid all the craters created by the bombing in the last war. Even though I'm on a seat on the bus I still have to hold on to keep my balance for being bounced about on the bus. I look out of the window of the bus and everywhere looks the same all of the streets are virtually the same. We all live in the same style of building, small and plain. No one is any richer than the other we have to be resourceful just to live here. Me and Mrs James' sons share what we have in the way of supplies such as firewood to keep us warm and I help them when it comes to food as I can make traps to capture rodents and birds. If I leave they will have to hunt for their own food so if I am told that I have to leave I will teach either Steve or Roger to make the traps I use and where the best place is to set them up.

When I get to the school the room is large but virtually empty as it used for the whole school but there are only 20 people from Endwater being tested in it today. I never used to fear this hall it used to be where we used to meet and eat our lunches but now it is a symbol of dread as we all sit down to be tested. I gulp with anticipation just wanting to get the test over and done with. Once I sit down and wait I look around and I notice that the ceiling has a pattern or image on it and I try to figure out what it is. I realise that this building, my parents once told me used to be a church a long time ago before the war, so that picture on the ceiling must be who they worshipped. I continue to look around and notice things I hadn't noticed before in the hall and until I focus back to what is in front of me. I suddenly I realise I'm the only girl waiting to be tested this year. This doesn't feel me with much confidence, as I don't know anyone here. At least if Luke was alive I could have someone to talk to while I wait instead I just sit there quietly and letting my brain work overtime and causing me to think about horrible things that will happen to me when I get tested. Once my thoughts gets too much to bare I just listen to everyone else talking. One boy says to the other he wants to move out of Endwater as he is the last of his family. His last family member just died two weeks ago. I think to myself am I really that selfish to leave when my family rely on me, to keep them alive and now I'm the only daughter and child they have. Will they understand why I have to leave, I don't know? Whilst I'm among my thoughts my name gets called and I get up take a few deep breaths and walk slowly to the testing room which is in the corner of the hall which I had never realised was there probably because it is normally covered with a tapestry of the schools logo its a good cover I suppose as I just walked passed it for the last 5 years of being here. I get to the door knock three times and then walk in.

Chapter 4

As I enter the testing room I can hear my heart beating in my chest and I can feel the nervous sweat dripping down my spine which makes me shiver as it turns cold. I clench my hands to the bottom of my ill-fitting t-shirt just to stop them from shaking. Now I’m in here there is no turning back. There is a series of advanced equipment and medical devices and in one of the corners of the room. There looks to be a computer attached to the equipment. There are so many wires it looks like the computer has been there so long that its started growing its own roots just like a potato does when it is left for a long time without being eaten. In the middle of the room there is a reclining chair, it reminds me of an old dentist chair that I saw in a picture from 20 years ago. The chair sends a shiver down my spine and a sudden feeling of fear overtakes my body. I let out a gulp and I realise it wasn't a quiet gulp as a women from Fandale stands in the room looking at me. She wears black trousers with a red t-shirt and a black leather jacket. Her hair is tied up but also black and long. Her brown wide eyes meet mine and then she says “I'm Eve I'm going to be administrating the test. If you could take a seat and I’ll attach this wire to you and we can begin the tests. I will also need to take some blood from you so we can do a DNA test for you.”

I sit down but I have to ask “Why do you need to do a DNA test?”

“Because, some people from the war have a modified gene causing them to develop differently.”

“Oh, What happens if I have that gene?”

“You will be hunted for the rest of your life as some people experiment on the gene and try to make it so everyone has the gene. If you do your family will not be safe if they find you”

I horrifying thought enters my head if I have this gene I will have to leave Endwater and be permanently on the run and constantly have my guard up so no one will know. She attaches the wires to me and takes some blood. She places the blood on a slide and places it in a computer slot and she looks at the computer screen intensely for a while as the computer flickers with the results of the test. She looks back with a shocked look on her face turns to talk to me. She unattached the wires from me and gets me to stand up by pulling my arm. I ask her “I have the gene don't I?”

She takes me to the back door and says “You will have to go through the back door and tell people that you felt ill from the blood I took.”

I looked puzzled. “Do I have the gene” I ask again.

She shoves me through the door and says “Your DNA is impossible... You don't have normal DNA and the country’s that are left wouldn't accept you. Your DNA has changes in it. It has been adapted from the nuclear war. You do have the gene but it appears you have a more advanced version of it.”

“I will have to leave my country,my family and my friends so they won't get killed because of me. I will be constantly running and hiding from people never being able to completely be honest to people ever again.”

Eve just says “You will have to make that decision yourself.” As I go to ask another question she shuts the door.

Chapter 5

I walk to the front of the school and decided to walk back to the house as I needed time to think. Sometimes I think if Luke was still here I could talk it through with him and we did always look out for each other. As I walk home I can see all the houses in a line with bright red roofs from when the rain hits, unfortunately there was so much bloodshed our rivers and lakes are bright red because of the bloodshed and it evaporates and turns into blood rain. I pass many deserted streets all people I used to know either moved away or died. I think I will have to move away from Endwater even though the test didn't say what I was expecting it to but its my decision now anyway. I'm not smart or a farmer and I don't want to stay in Endwater, so the only country I could fit in is Fandale which is the warrior country constantly risking life and limb for everyone. I think this country would be the best option as I know a lot about self sacrifice and I am willing to die in order to help and save others.

By time I've come to this conclusion I am at the front door of Mrs James'. I knock on the door and the 18 year old comes to the door. He had to have is hand and wrist amputated because of the accident in the mine. His name is Steve and he his tall with brown hair, blue eyes and a tattoo of a flame on his other arm. “Hello Steve” I say

“Hello Kirsty, What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering since I’ve been tested today, if you and your family could look after my parents as I'm not suited to stay in Endwater any more.” I hand him a 2 traps that I made that morning so that he can still feed mine and his families when I'm not there any more.

Suddenly he throws his arm and stump around me giving me a hug. “Yes we will look after them for you. Sorry you have to leave, and thank you for the traps. You will be missed if that helps?”

I look down as he lets me go out of his grasp and say “Not really..., but thanks any way. Just remember to place the traps where I told you and you should be able to catch food.”

Chapter 6

I turn and walk out of their doorway and head to my door. I pack all the belongings I own in a rucksack even though the rucksack is small there is still so much space in it as I only own four items of clothing and two photos which just happen to be of my parents and Luke. I get into bed to try to get some sleep, but instead I have a restless night, sleep filled with tossing and turning until the dark light of the sun glares through the red stained window. I wake up and glance at the clock in the corner of my room, it reads 6.30am. I grab the small rucksack that I packed last night and I lift it onto my shoulders and go down stairs. I head into the kitchen and I go to open the fridge. I grab a bread roll and a half a glass of milk. I quickly drink the milk and leave the kitchen with the bread roll in my hand. I go towards the front door still eating the bread roll. My parents aren't up yet, so I quietly go out the door still eating the bread roll I took from the fridge.

I head towards the bus stop to get to the school where I had the test. I realise that it is only 7.00am, so the buses won't be running till 9am so I decided to walk to the my old school which was where I was at yesterday. I look through all the abandoned streets as I pass and I can imagine when the streets were busy and what they must have looked like before the war. Slowly I get this sick feeling deep in my stomach like a yearning to go home. I guess that’s what they call homesickness. I have never felt this before and I don't like it. I was just about to turn back and go back home when I heard a voice say “Hello Kirsty”

I look around and then I realise there is a women on the corner of the abandoned street I am coming up to. I look closer almost squinting and I realise that it is Eve the women from Fandale who admitted my test yesterday. She walks over to me and says “Hi are you all right?”

I noticed that she was looking at the rucksack on my back “Fine... I. I’m just moving from Endwater.” I say like I’m doing something wrong.

“Oh! If I’m honest I thought you would stay with your family despite what the test says.”

“I would have done, b-but I can't risk my family's life just so I can stay home. Plus I don't fit in there and according to the test I should be careful about getting caught with this gene. Perhaps if I died and my brother lived he would be able to say he belonged somewhere and would not have had this gene.”

Eve looked shocked that I would say something like that. “We all have our differences and even if your brother lived he may be in the same situation as you. What country are you thinking of joining then?”

I look down like I’ve just been told off “Fandale” I say.

She looks at me “Good choice I think you would like it there, there is plenty to learn and achieve there. However the initiation is quite challenging you may need to do extra training and be tough skinned as you may get knocked out once or twice. It is harder for girls to complete the training, but I think that you'll be fine.”

“That's what I want. I want to be the best I can be and achieve everything I can in life before I die. What bus do I get to get there?”

Eve smiles and says “The bus won't arrive for a few hours, but if you follow me I will take you there by foot we should get there by the time everyone else who is transferring.”

“Thank you” I say.

Chapter 7

We start to walk down a long winding road with houses with massive windows in them Eve told me before the war they used to be shops where people could buy groceries instead of relying on others to farm the crops and hunt for food we eat. I look around starting to see the image my parents showed me of the world before the war hit. I started imagining all the people going in and out the shops smiling and being happy. I can still imagine the children singing and playing games in the middle of the street. You are lucky if you see a child happy and playing since the war they like everyone else have to work to survive and if your families unfortunate the children would be the main source of income. Unfortunately many of the children have no parents and they are either living on the street, or in an orphanage because they lost all family in the war. We walk through many different streets and we walk a mile to get to the outskirts of Endwater which is the edge dome which protects us from our depleted ozone layer. I realise that this is the furthest I've been away from home and for the longest period of time. I feel a tear fall down my cheek and I take a deep breath and blink the rest of the tears away. Once we reach the outskirts of the Endwater dome. We go through a hole in the dome and over a short bridge, as we near the other end of the bridge I see the outskirts of Fandale. It is a bright colourful image. Once we emerge from the bridge this bright golden light hits me and makes me close my eyes. I am not used to the actual colour of the sun but as my eyes slowly adjust to the brightness I can see a fire in the sky in the shape of a ball. The sight is beautiful different colours of sky and the lakes are not red but a deep blue clear colour. There are green patches on the ground Eve tells me that it is grass a naturally occurring plant that is found everywhere and is very common over Fandale. The air is so clean that if feels cool and light unlike Endwater's air which smells like sewage and rotting bodies. I take in the scenery sights, smells and sounds and for once I feel happy. As we reach the border of Fandale the place looks so different to Endwater it has big buildings reaching into the sky with many windows looking out. There is a wall with soldiers on it patrolling the boarder and keeping an eye on all country's to stop any more impending wars. The street is covered in shops and a black substance which Eve told me was tar. This place makes me feel alienated and for the moment I don't know if I belong here. Eve takes me to the entrance of Fandale initiates building as the initiates and country born are trained separately because they have more experience in fighting and other training techniques. I will have to learn all these techniques in 12 weeks whereas the people born in Fandale tend to learn the techniques throughout their life. Eve looks towards me and smiles at my face of amazement. “I'll leave you here. The bus should arrive in 10 minuets and the class should start at 9.10am. If you need to talk to me about anything, Just go to the canteen as that is where I work, you'll find me behind the serving station.”

“Thank you.” I say.

Just like Eve said the bus arrived at 9am and 9 people get of the bus and wait outside the building where I am waiting. I look around at the competition and the people who are transferring into the society of Fandale. I notice once again I am the only girl who transferred to Fandale guess not many girls manage to survive the training here they probably go to another country where the initiation is easier. The leader of the training facility steps out of the door I look at the time 9.05am. He is big strong, but he mustn't be older than 24 years old. He also has a Mohawk and his arms covered in tattoos. He wears dark clothing and a leather jacket. He has a strict and bellowing voice as he quiet down the group of 10 initiates and then begins to speak. “I'm Victor I'm the leader here at Fandale.”

The door opens again and another man walks out he looks younger than Victor but older than 16 years old he has short dark hair and big brown eyes he looks familiar but I'm not sure where I know him from. He introduces himself to the group. “I'm Theo, I’m your instructor for most training tasks. Victor is my superior and will be monitoring all of you closely. I normally work in the towns as a policeman, but I also volunteer to train each of you. Training will last 12 weeks you will be put through your paces here in many different scenarios. Those who don't make it through will go back to where they came from and that will be where you stay. In the last week you will be graded and depending on your grade will determine the occupation you will receive when you complete training. NOW! follow me and I'll show you the dorms.”

Chapter 8

I look around and yet again. I don't know anyone who has transferred and once again I am the only girl, so I will have to work exceptionally hard to get through training especially if I want a good grade at the end. As we get to the dorms Theo stops and takes me to one side. The rest of the recruits go into the dorm. Theo looks at me “What is your name?”

I look stunned and suddenly my name disappears from my vocabulary. I stutter but nothing comes out of my mouth.

“You can choose a new name if you want?” Theo says kindly.

I think, take a deep breath and then my name comes back into my head and I say “My name is Kirsty.”

“Right” Theo Says “Because you are the only girl in this training group I have moved the only girl who is also training from the Fandale born initiates. You will share with her she will also be joining this group for when we train you.”

“Thank you.” I say shyly.

He shows me to the other dorm just across the hall. The dorm had two beds on either side of the room and next to the head of the beads is a bedside table. In the middle of the room are two wardrobes facing back to back. The two sides mirror each other perfectly.

I look over towards one side of the room just like Theo said there was a girl on one of the beds. She has blonde hair tied up in a bun. She has bright blue eyes and a tattoo on her shoulder of a cross. She didn't look like the others I've seen in this country. She looks timid compared to some. Some people have tattoos completely covering their bodies. There faces are completely covered in piercings.

“Hello, I'm Kirsty and you are?” I say politely.

She answers shyly “Hi, I'm Kate, Well I guess your my new room mate then.”

I say shyly “Yeah, sorry about that, thought there would be more girl initiates than just me. Guess this must be too tough for normal girls to come and live.”

Kate replies “Yes this place is tough, but not many can live up to the constant training and schedules that are required of them. Where are you from?”

“I'm from Endwater, I had to get away from the memories and I want to learn how to protect myself. I am not afraid to sacrifice my life in order to save others. I want to be just like my brother.”

She looks back as slowly asks “Is your family still there in Endwater? Do you have any other siblings?”

“Yes, my parents are still there, but my neighbour Mrs James is there are looking after them for me, especially since now I'm the only child they got. My fathers only got one arm and my mother has never really recover from the burns and death of my brother. Ever since my brother Luke gave his life to save me and my mother from a fire that swept through our previous village. I couldn't stay there everything reminded me of my brother, he was only 10 months older than me and we were very close especially when dad had his accident. I wish I could have been that brave just like he was that night.” A tear runs down my cheek and a sense of sadness rises inside me. I have to take a deep breath to let it pass. “I miss him and sometimes I wish I could just talk to him.”

Kate looks shocked because she couldn't believe I've been through all of that and still came out reasonably sane, well as sane as I can be.

I get changed into clothes that fit. There is much more variety here than in Endwater, so I changed into black trousers and a black t-shirt but the t-shirt has really short sleeves so I add a black leather jacket just so my arm is completely covered and there is no chance for anyone to see any part of my scar. For once I felt like I belonged.

Chapter 9

Theo calls everyone out of their dorms and we gather in the middle of the corridor outside the dorms. Theo says “Today we start training in one on one combat so everyone get to the training room.”

We follow him along the corridor till we get to a room the size of a field surrounded by walls. It is full of training equipment and there is the rest of the community who are enduring their daily workout sessions. The community look at us as we enter the room and then focus themselves back to their training. They tend to keep themselves in top condition to protect the country and the rest of the world's population from any dangers it may face. There are people fighting in what I think is a boxing ring practising one on one combat.

In another corner there were people firing guns at many targets. Near the entrance there was an area where people could learn how to use and defend knife attacks as well as how to throw a knife into a target. “Right you will learn all these different types of combat skills starting with one to one combat.” Theo starts showing us how to punch and how to defend punches coming for us. He swipes his arms, so the incoming punch is stopped by his forearm which still looks as painful as taking the punch. Theo then says “Right pair up and use these techniques I have just showed you on the punching bags behind you. Tomorrow you start fighting against one another so expect some pain tomorrow.”

As me and Kate pair up to practice the fighting styles on the punching bags. I notice that I can pick up the techniques surprisingly fast where as Kate is struggling to defend herself. I look around everyone else is still trying to learn the punching techniques Theo taught us. I gulp as then there is me who has leant everything to the standard that Theo showed me. Is there something wrong with me?

Theo walks over to me looking surprised with my progress and then asks “Have you done any of this fighting style before?”

I look back shocked and say “No, I'm just used to surviving on nothing.”

“Oh” he says “Lets try teaching you more advance skills.”

“OK” I say nervously as I think he may know something about my DNA test.

Theo begins to teach me more skilled punching techniques of one on one fighting and how to defend myself against them. As he takes me through the moves and as I see them in action the moves imprint themselves into my brain. Then when it comes to demonstrating them to Theo he is shocked as it is like I have an instinct to determine the punch or kick he is going to use and I can defend myself based on the punch he has thrown. I can defend myself against everything he throws at me. I even get a few punches through his defence which just so happen to hit him in the jaw. Theo looks stunned as he didn't expect an initiate to get a punch pass his defence on the first day of training, so the fact I managed to hit him in the first hour completely shocks him. Luckily my punches aren't had so it doesn't even effect his performance.

Once Theo has had enough shocks he stops fighting and so do I. He looks at me and takes me by the arm outside the training room and into the corridor. He turns to look me in the eye and says strictly “How are you seeing what I am about to attack you with? How are you learning this so fast? How did you manage to hit me in the first hour of training?”

I look confused and I think to myself, doesn't everyone know what attack is coming for you, well obviously not, if I’m getting confronted about my unique skill at least I think it is unique or is it?.

I look back to Theo and say “I don't know I just did it. As for hitting you I think that may just have been luck if I'm honest.”

“OK” He says and walks back into the training room scratching the back of his neck and with a stern face. He continues to circulate the room with the other initiates and begins giving points for how they can improve. I go back to the punching bag me and Kate where using and we continue to train and I focus on making my punches harder and stronger, whereas Kate focus' on getting the techniques correct.

Chapter 10

After the training session ended I go to the canteen to see if I can talk to Eve about what happened in training. I get there after walking the winding corridors and see her behind the serving station in a black hat and apron just like she said she would. I sit down at an empty table Eve spots me and takes a break from serving the hungry men and women of the institute and takes the free seat beside me and sits down. She looks at me worried about what I will say. “What's wrong” she asks with an sympathetic but worried voice.

I look back at her and say “I know this is the first day of training and I know my test results came back different, b-but this will sound crazy, I-I can learn new skills incredibly fast and predict which punch the person I’m fighting will use before they even decide what ones to use so I can always defend myself from them. Just like I managed to do with Theo and I even got a few punches in his defence.”

Eve's face looks completely stunned and shocked that I actually managed to hit Theo and yet not have a single scratch on me.

“My question is Eve, how do I hide my new found ability?”

She looks shocked but amazed and yet slightly confused. She slowly speaks as she wraps her head round what I just told her. A few minuets passed and then she says “OK, I knew you were complicated... but this is a different level, but what I can understand why you would want to hide you new ability when this country would love this ability in all of their citizens, so you would be under constant testing if the wrong people ever found out.”

I look back with a sad look on my face and say “I don't want everyone here to see my ability and then use it to see if they can give it to others. Plus I don't want to be treated any different to the other initiates I want to get through training on my own accord.”

“Oh! I understand that, not that anyone knows but I have the ability to see the good and bad in people and I can see if someone has had a difficult past.”

All I can say “I- is that why you told me if I needed someone to talk to I could ask you? Because you and I are kind of the same?”

“Exactly” Eve says smiling “What you do is just go through training the best you can. No one suspects you yet do they?”

I look around and say “Umm w- Well my instructor Theo was inquiring about my skill, but I don't know if he suspects anything.”

Eve gives me a hug and says “Don't worry I'll have a word with him as long as Victor doesn't know then you should be safe. Theo is at least reasonable and he may be able to teach you something to prevent being caught out. Just remember not a word to Victor or we will be all dead.”

“Thank you. I won't tell Victor I try to avoid Victor at all times.” I say.

A thought suddenly comes into my head why would Theo help me? and why would he keep my secret?

Eve gets up and walks back to her work station and I get up and walk down the long corridor and I head back to my dorm that Kate and I recently share.

Chapter 11

When I get into the dorm I see that Kate is already sitting on her bed. I get closer and I notice that she is holding a ice pack to her eye. I realise that she has a black eye and a massive bruise on the left side of her cheek. I walk over to her and say “What happened to you when I left training this afternoon?”

Kate winces and then speaks in a croaky voice “When you left Victor made the initiates start fighting one on one even though that was not scheduled till tomorrow. Victor said the only way to win was to knock the other out or make them to injured to continue. Unfortunately I was up against some one good and when I woke up, I was in here with Theo looking down at me making sure I was OK.”

“Oh my god, Victor made this happen. That's awful are you OK and are you going to continue the training. I say.

She looks at me “It'll take a lot more than being knocked out to quit the training” she says determinedly.

“Tell you what you tell me who knocked you out and if I'm paired up with them, I'll make sure I'll knock them out cold before they even get one punch to hit me. Deal”

“Deal.”

I get changed and quietly and get into bed as Kate fell asleep just a few minuets after I finished talking to her. I guess getting knocked out tires you out. I think when I'm in bed that this is definitely the place to start my new life and its only been the first day and I've got 2 new friends and I've already found out something which I thought was impossible that I'm actually glad to be alive. With thinking that I fall asleep...

Chapter 12

I awake to a loud rhythmic banging sound, so I jump out of bed and look around. There is no one in the room other than Kate who is now awake, after also hearing the same sound. We look at each other trying to pin point where the sound is coming from. I get up out of bed and I look out the dorm. To my surprise I see Theo in the boys dorm with a metal cup which he is banging on the railing. He must be trying to get the other initiates up to start training. I figured that me and Kate could impress Theo by getting up and dressed so when he came to wake us up we would already be rearing to go unlike the boys. We finish getting dressed and make our dorm presentable and we wait on our beds for Theo to arrive...

A few minuets later he walks into our dorm and jumps and he looks shocked and surprised because he doesn't expect to see us already waiting for him to take us to our next one on one fighting technique lesson. He looks at everything in our dorm all nicely laid out and organised. He looks like he is about to say something but nothing follows his expression. After the shock disappears he says “Right ladies, please go to the training room and start to warm up the boys will be 10 minuets yet. It seems they are not good in the mornings unlike you two.”

As we leave the dorm he pulls me to one side and says “Your skills are safe with me, I have had some experience in training people with abilities, and I have different ways to get the same result, as if you were just like every other initiate.”

“Thank you” I say shyly. This is one of the first times I’ve talked to a boy who I am not related to or who isn't younger than me. Suddenly this thought pops into my mind, why is he risking everything for me? Does he like me? Why am I thinking this I shouldn't be letting those type of thoughts interfere with my training and my ability I need to have a clear judgement when he is teaching me.

After my thought clears my head I run to catch up with Kate. She looks at me and asks “What was all that about?”

“It was about the extra training he gave me yesterday. He just wanted to make sure I don't use it yet because it wouldn't be fair to the other initiates.” I reply to her as honestly as I can without giving any important information.

“Oh, OK” she says and we both head to the training room.

Chapter 13

We reach the training room and we are the only ones in there this morning. We stretch and start throwing some punches to a punching bag. Kate uses the one next to me, she makes the bag move where as when I punch the bag it hardly moves. I guess that is now what I need to work on my strength and muscle gain. Kate looks at the amount of perfect punches I throw and how quick I learnt them. Suddenly she speaks “ You know you wanted a new life why did you keep your name. I would have changed mine.”

“I didn't know what name or nickname to take. Plus it is nice to have something from home with me a bit like a safety blanket.” I say.

“I understand that” Kate says “But in case you should change your mind I think you should be called Speedy because you have a pure skill for picking up the correct techniques. Plus your a quick learner it fits. Don't you think?”

“Yeah” I say “Speedy I like it. I think I would stick with Kirsty for now Kate as its the only memory of my family I have.”

“OK” she says.

I teach Kate a few moves in the hope she won't get beaten to shreds when she next has to fight someone, and hopefully it should help her win a fight which would boost her spirits up. Kate seemed a bit down this morning especially being beaten in a one on one fight. I say to her “Can you keep a secret?”

“Yes I can we should trust each other. Why?”

I look around making sure no one is in earshot of what I'm about to tell her. I have the... Magnitude gene” I say “That is why I'm a quick learner.”

She looks back not shocked, but relieved and says “So do I mine is I can see peoples personalities and bad traits I basically can tell when people are lying.”

“That is so call, I'm glad we are the same. You should have a nickname too.” I say “you should be called Astra.”

Kate looks and replies “I love it, but like you I would prefer to keep my actual name.”

“That's OK one day we may change our names there is no rush yet.” I say.

Chapter 14

Just as we finish throwing our different punches Theo comes in the training room and looks at us with a smile on his face. He seemed please that we were practising the moves he taught us. Behind him is a slow rhythm of boots and as the others come in the training room. Me and Kate grin because it is the boy initiates who are the ones who are slowly walking in. Most of them look like they are half asleep and the other half look like they may as well be dead.

Theo calls us round and said “On this board is today’s fights. If you aren't up there then you don't have to fight just train on the punching bags.”

I look at the list unfortunately my name is at the top and I'm fighting someone called Billy. He has broad shoulders and a start of a moustache hanging above his spare lip. He has blue eyes and blond hair. Just by looking at him you can tell that he isn't a good person. I bet he would sell his family just to get what he wanted. I look at the list to find Kate's name, but it is no where on the board. I look at Kate's face she looks worried, but also slightly relieved that she doesn't have to fight today. I say to her “Is Billy the one who knocked you out?”

Her eyes fill up with tears and her lip wobbles. She can't speak but she nods her head slowly as a tear runs down her cheek.

“Don't worry, he'll be the one on the floor this time” I say.

A smile comes to her face. She isn't fighting today I think it may be because she took a beating yesterday, so she goes back to the punching bag we were on earlier and continues practising her technique and styles of punches.

Theo calls the first match “Kirsty V.S. Billy.” He says.

I enter the ring and am prepared to fight this pathetic person who think its normal to knock out a lady and with that my revenge for this fight has made me realise I must win this fight for Kate who just gave me my very first nickname even though I didn't accept to take the nickname, but she gave me one anyway. She has made me feel welcome in two days. As the bell rings the fight begins...

At first I just dodge any attacks that come towards me, but then I realise I won't win for Kate if I continue to just dodge the attacks. I decide to throw some punches into the fight. As Billy goes in for a punch I dodge the punch, twist my body and return an uppercut straight into his jaw. He looks stunned and slightly of balance. He regains his balance and tries to throw another punch into my face, but again I block his attack and attack him with a punch right to his nose. Billy's face is now covered in blood from a split lip I gave him and that last punch I seemed to have broken his nose, oh well it is an improvement I suppose. I wait him out and keep most of my energy on defence instead of attacking until he is so tired that one punch to his head would knock him out cold.

Theo and Victor come over to the ring and they see Billy on the floor with a pool of blood starting to form on the mat near his head. Victor picks up Billy and takes him to the infirmary for treatment. Meanwhile Theo comes over to me and looks pleased with the result. He says “Well done, Kirsty. Especially without using your ability too much.”

“Thank you” I say “I had to use my ability slightly to win the fight just a bit, I owed it to Kate to take revenge on him for what he had done to her yesterday.”

With that Kate walks next to me.

“Quite right to” he says looking at both of us. “I done the same in my training.” With that he goes to watch the others fight.

I look at Kate and she has the same look of intrigue as I do. We wonder why did he have to fight for his spot in the training.

Kate gives me a big hug. “Thank you Kirsty” she says in a relieved voice “I'm glad that you wasn't knocked out.”

“Its OK it would take a lot of punches to knock me out. Plus I'm a quick learner and can act faster than most.”

I head to the punching bags with Kate and we start practising our punches again and we give each other tips on how to improve...

Chapter 15

Before we know it we realise the training room is too quiet. We look around it is empty, we are the only people in the training room. We look at the clock in the centre of the room and then we realise why the training room is empty, we are late for lunch it is 12.30pm and lunch starts at 12pm and finishes at 1pm. Me and Kate rushes to the canteen luckily Eve is working she hands me and Kate a tray of food that she kept by for us. Obviously someone told her to, the only one who knew we were training on the punching bag was Theo. Eve says as she hands the food over “Compliments of Theo and congratulations for wining your first fight Kirsty.”

“Thank you” I say “This is Kate by the way Eve” and “Kate this is Eve.”

“Hello Kate” Eve says.

“Hello Eve” Kate says shyly.

We go to sit down at a table and there is no space other than two seats next to Theo. We walk over to the table and we slowly sit down in silence and begin to eat the food Eve saved for us. Theo looks over at us and says “Glad you two could make it to lunch. I thought I would have trouble with the boys over training not the girls.”

I say “We'll because there are only two girls in training we need to try and keep up with the boys, especially if we are to have any chance in beating them, also I don't fancy looking like a pin cushion the whole time while we constantly keep getting beaten up in fights.”

Theo smiles and says “Good answer, Just don't go to fast otherwise you might cause more damage to yourself than your opponent.”

We eat quickly and go back to the dorm to wait for Theo to collect us for our afternoon five mile run. 5 minuets later he knocks on our door and looks in “I don't have to ask if you too are ready do I?” He says smiling.

“Nope we've been ready for a while. I bet the boys are whining and moaning about having to run 5 miles.” I say.

Kate speaks shyly “How long do we have to wait for the boys now? Are they ready yet?”

Theo looks and has a massive grin on his face. “Not yet, tell you what I'll get Victor to lead the boys in their 5 mile run. We can go now if you are both ready. I'm getting fed up of waiting for the boys to be ready. I'm sure Victor will get them moving.”

Together me and Kate say “OK”

Chapter 16

We are now outside the training centre everything is different in this country the air smells cleaner. In Endwater the air constantly smelt like sewage and the smell of rotting flesh, but here the memory slowly disappears. There are paths and roads made of tar not just concrete. All of the buildings look like they're new and are towering into the air. I look around in amazement. Theo notices that I am fascinated by the country and asks “What country are you from originally and what is it like?”

I say slowly like I may be judged where I came from. “I'm from... Endwater. There isn't much there no plants nothing grows there and your basically trapped under a dome in the darkness from the constant red clouds and without the dome you would burn. When I came here I had never seen a blue sky or the sun before, because of the dome it is constantly dark all of the time and it is hard to tell whether it is day or night there isn't much difference.

All the buildings in Endwater are either burned to ashes or so damaged their not safe to live in. There are lakes and rivers, but there was so much bloodshed there they are a dark shade of red. The worst thing about Endwater is everyone at some stage of their life gets baptised with the blood rain that falls every other day.

The air is constantly smelling like sewage and rotting flesh so being here where the air is clean is extremely different.”

I look at Theo and he says slightly shocked but not as shocked as I thought he would be. “Blimey no wonder you wanted to leave there. Anyway enough chat lets run. Just for you we will take you to all the best places in this country, so it may be slightly longer than 5 miles but least you can see the sights.”

Kate pipes up “That is a good idea.”

“Thank you” I say.

We start running down Lime-tree drive it is a long road ,but according to Kate they have some of the best café’s for doughnuts and other food. Unfortunately I have never heard of this food called a doughnut so I am willing to try one at some point. We turn into Southwood park. I have never seen a park before it is amazing a clear blue lake with fish swimming around in it. Many different trees and plants grow all around us, as we run through the park. For once I feel like I am apart of something beautiful not just a wasteland. If Endwater had a park it would look awful but this is beautiful.

As we come out of the other end of the park Theo takes us over to this light flashing, music playing place. Theo told me it is a carnival park that residents come to spend money and have fun on the contraptions. One thing that stands out in the carnival park is this big wheel with what look like baskets hanging off of it. “What is that?” I ask with amazement as I point to the contraption towering above us.

Theo stops and says “That is a Ferris wheel you sit in one of the baskets and it takes you high in the air and then back to the ground.”

“That is cool” I say.

We continue running past a sandy bank next to a vast amount of water. Kate mentions that is a beach where most people go to swim in the ocean and sit on the sand and get a suntan. I don't know what Kate meant by swim. Just seeing the orange setting sun sparkle off the dark clear water is a beautiful sight and I would just want to stay there and just disappear in the sight. Before I know it we are back at the training facility and the boys are just about to leave the compound with Victor. Victor doesn't look happy, he looks at me and Kate with a frown and then spots Theo who he snarls at and then off they run.

We head back in the training facility and I thank Kate and Theo for showing me around. Kate heads back into the dorm and Theo waits till she is gone. He grabs one of my hands and says “You fit in here, you belong here and don't let anyone tell you otherwise OK.”

I nod slightly shaken by what he had just said to me. My other hand was shaking so much I had to create a fist with it just to mask the shaking. I could hear and feel my own heart beat all over me. He lets go of my hand and I walk quickly into the dorms without looking back.

Chapter 17

What just happened to me? I went all weak and pathetic like a girl who doesn't belong in this country. I should be strong, how did he make that happen. I get changed and ponder the thought, but even though I think I know I can't get my head around it so I get into bed and slowly drift of to sleep.

Unfortunately the last thought I thought of before finally falling asleep was Theo grabbing my hand. I kept on imagining him pulling me to safety and he would never let anything bad happen would he?... All of the dreams I had last night had him in them whether that was him saving me from something or that he was training me. However there was a very strange moment in my dream I could see someone screaming and shouting by the door. I startled myself awake and looked at the clock it said 3am then I looked at the door, but to my shock there was a person by the door. I tried calling out but they couldn't hear me. I get up out of bed and go over to the door, but the image I saw of what looks like a person disappears as soon as I touch its shoulder. I decide not to ponder the idea of what just happened and I get into bed and try to go of to sleep...

I awoke to the banging sound again and Theo must have been next door trying to wake the boys. Me and Kate get up, get dressed and tidy our dorm so It is at least presentable for him when he appears. I remember the dream I had last night of the image by the door screaming and I wonder if that is another ability of the magnitude gene inside my DNA, but before I can ponder the idea. Theo comes in and says “New training exercises today. Go into the training room by the knife skills section. Don't go in just wait outside of the section.”

Me and Kate scurry to where he has told us to be and we wait patiently for 10 minuets. Theo walks in annoyed and says to us “It's just us today the boys are refusing to get up so they will have to train with Victor instead of me. Would you two rather have Victor train you or me?”

Me and Kate look at each other and grin slightly like we know what the other one is thinking. Victor is stricter and meaner and not quite as good looking as Theo. We say together “You” we say with a smile.

“All right then.” he say “I'll grab a couple of people for you to practice with and then we shall begin.” He walks down the hall and turns right into the corridor.

Me and Kate giggle as he disappears and I say “I prefer Theo to Victor any day. Plus...” I say with a cheeky grin on my face. “He is good looking don't you think?”

Kate nods with agreement and just as she was about to speak Theo comes back in the room with two people. A man and a women. The man who has brown short hair, small eyes and a cheeky grin. He is taller but not as lean as Theo. The women has blonde hair with green eyes and a slim figure.

Theo says “Meet Tobias and Luna they were in the same situation as you last year. Luna last year was the only girl in the group, so she knows exactly what you both are going through. Luna can share some experiences with Kate as she was born here. As for Tobias he was the only initiate last year so he is used to all of the changes and he will be able to share some experiences with you Kirsty.”

Me and Kate say “OK Thanks”

Theo says “No problem. Tobias and Luna show us the correct way to hold and throw a knife in the target.”

With that I watch Tobias from his feet up and I mirror everything he does until he throws the knife. Kate does the same with Luna. Theo the says “Kirsty and Kate your turn.”

Kate goes first she holds the knife correctly and has the correct stance as she lets the knife go it hits the target but bounces out at the last minuet. Theo says “Good try you need to have more power behind the knife if you want it to stay in the target.” “Your turn Kirsty.”

I line up my feet my shoulders just like Tobias did and hold the knife the same way he did. I eye up the target and with a deep breath, I throw the knife towards the target it slams straight into the centre of the target and stays there. Everyone looks shocked and surprised that I managed to do it on my first try. Theo says “Well done”

Tobias still looks shocked but manages to speak “How did you learn that so fast he asks?”

I look worried I'm not sure whether to tell him or not. Theo steps in and says “Why do you think she is an incredibly fast leaner. She learnt one on one combat techniques to perfection in 1 day.”

Tobias looks suspicious, but then accepts it and continues to throw knifes into a target.

I go over to Theo and say “Thank you for not telling him.”

Theo smiles and says “Its not my secret to tell just like I can't tell you about any of their secrets.”

Something dawns on me about the sentence he had just said. Are me and Kate not the only ones who has a special ability thanks to the war. I look around and I notice did Theo pick these people because we all have some sort of special ability. That would explain why Eve and Theo talk and know each other and he obviously knows Tobias and Luna because he trained them. I wonder if he knows about Kate?

I get back to throwing knifes, each knife I throw it hits the target in the same area by the time I've thrown 10 knifes they are all sticking out of the target in the same marked area. I look over my should and Tobias is there. He pulls me to one side and says “Your one of us aren't you?”

“I don't know what you mean” I reply nervously.

“You can predict movements and copy people and learn fast. We call ourselves “magnitudes.” We have a gene that gives us the ability to do remarkable things with our personality or skill. I am one myself.” he says “B-but mine is no way as cool as yours.”

“What is yours?” I ask slowly with curiosity.

“Mine is I can see glimpses of peoples past and can easily tell what they are feeling and I can help them through it as I've seen it. Is there anything else you can do?”He asks.

“Your ability is so cool could you see what happened to me in my past? As for the other abilities um, well... the other night I got woken up from a dream however- it wasn't a dream, because I looked at the time and over by the door I saw a figure screaming and when I got out of bed it was still there until I touched the shoulder of it. I was going to ask Eve about it as I'm not sure if it is because of this “magnitude gene.”

Tobias looks like he's seen a ghost and calls Theo, Luna and Kate over. Theo asks “What's wrong?” he asks Tobias.

Tobias says “Kirsty has more than one ability is that possible?”

Theo looks disappointed that I didn't tell him first, but shocked as well. He asks me “What other ability do you have?”

“I saw a figure from my dream in the dormitory and it didn't disappear until I touched it. I thought it was a dream so I was going to ask Eve later on.”

“Oh” he says “You have the ability to see people who have died a horrible death it probably came, because you came from Endwater which has seen many different deaths of their population. The war just amplified it to make it an ability. It means you can see ghosts, but it may mean that you could help them find peace if they are still here by finding out who they are haunting and the reasons why.”

“S-So what else could I have the been exposed to in Endwater?”

“We don't know” Theo says “Guess we will just have to wait and see.”

“Why me?” I say “I'm nothing special, I'm just someone who has had a lot of tragedy happen to them in a matter of 5 years and I've learnt to deal with the constant pain.”

Theo looks at me and takes me away from the rest of them and says “That is probably why you have so many abilities and the fact you have learnt to live with that amount of pain makes you special. Anyone who went through what you went through would have some sort of mental breakdown, but you haven't your completely normal, apart from your abilities, I mean. You don't have to worry you will always be special to us. No matter how many different abilities you have. We will get through everyone together, just let me know if anything else happens to you out of the ordinary. We shall keep an eye on you and I'll teach you how to disguise them, so not even Victor will know about them. Victor may want to run many tests on you and copy your DNA just to get the best workforce out of the population. Just me, Kate, Tobias,Luna and Eve will keep an eye on you. We will have our own secret club.”

I smile especially when he said about me being special I say “Thank you Theo, especially for being understanding and I appreciate everything you are risking for me.”

Theo smiles and says “Well, us Endwater victims have to stick together. I'm only telling you this to prove you can trust me OK?”

“Oh you came from Endwater. What's your surname?” I say.

“My surname is....” he looks around worried one of the others will hear it and then says “James and my ability is to never be hurt by someone I have an incredible resistance to pain and I am a fast healer.”

“Oh, you were the son of Mrs James. The one I never met because you left when you were 15. It seems strange I only talked to your mother a week ago.”

“Don't tell the others where I come from. Are my family OK” he says

“Yeah they are looking after my parents for me and I won't tell the others.”

“Thanks” he says and we walk back to the group who are now chatting. Theo says “Right we have to keep an eye on Kirsty and make sure no one outside of us and Eve finds out about her abilities. OK?”

Everyone in the group chants “Yes”

I say sincerely to the group. “Thank you for risking everything for me I really appreciate it. I never had friends before coming here I was just trying to keep me and my family alive. That is why I left them so thanks for making me feel so welcome.”

Theo then says “Training is finished today so go and get some rest.”

Chapter 18

Me and Kate walk back to the dorms and we get changed out of our training uniforms. Once we done that curiosity over runs my body and I start to think what on earth is Luna's ability I know everyone else. I settle into bed and try to drift of to sleep but my mind is too active with questions and thoughts to fully drift asleep. Eventually after counting sheep even though I don't actually know what a sheep is but apparently that used to work to get you to full asleep. The next thing I hear is Victor speaking I look out of the dorm, but no one is there I hear him start to grumble about Theo so I listen intensely “Theo will never be better than me and yet the higher management prefer him to me they want him as leader but I can't accept that something must be done!” I now see Victor coming along the corridor to wake up the boys. I put my hand over Kate's mouth to stop her screaming and I wake her up.

I whisper to her what I just heard and we hurry to get dressed and leave the dorm. As we leave Victor is yelling at the boys to get up we hurry down the corridor towards the canteen.

When we get to the canteen Luna is already in there eating breakfast she looks up as we walk in. We sit down next to her and and we begin to talk. I ask cautiously “What's your ability Luna?”

She looks around making sure that we are the only ones in there and she say slowly “I can use any computer system even if it is broken or old and I can easily hack any security cameras.”

“That's pretty cool though does that mean if you wanted you could spy on people using the security systems?”

“Yes” Luna says. “That is why I work in the surveillance department where I keep an eye on everyone and everything.”

“Why do we all have different abilities I ask her is it something to do with the way we were brought up and the different environments?”

Luna looks back tired “Yes that is exactly why. Most people from Endwater are so good at adapting that they normally have at least two abilities, but by the sound of your previous life you may have a new record.”

I sigh and say “Great that is all I need. What would happen if I have too many abilities that my mind can't keep them in check?”

I guess Kate says “You would go slightly crazy”

“Brilliant” I say sarcastically.

I tell Luna what I heard Victor say “Theo will never be better than me and yet the higher management prefer him to me they want him as leader but I can't accept that something must be done!”

Luna looks shocked and she says “We must go and find Theo to warn him that he is now being watched closely.”

“Where do we look for him?” I ask urgently.

Luna says “He and Tobias share an apartment on the other side of the training facility so that’s where we look for them.”

Chapter 19

We leave the canteen and Luna leads the way as she knows where the apartment is because they are all friends. We walk through the corridors and go over a bridge which takes us over the training room on the other side I see six doors and we go past everyone of them until we get to the sixth door and Luna knocks on the door 3 times.

Theo comes to the door half asleep with just a towel round his waist. His hair still wet from the shower. Our eyes widen and we look at each other and then try to keep eye contact with his eyes.“Morning” We say with a grin on our faces. I find it hard not to look down at the bare skin which is covered in muscles from years of training, but he also has a tattoo of a shield on his chest. I've seen one before it is an old policeman’s shield that they used to have before the war.

Theo yawns and speaks slightly croaky “Morning, what are you doing here so early?”

I concentrate looking at his eyes as we walk into his apartment and take a seat on his sofa and say I “Sorry I heard Victor waking up the boys and we decided to leave the dorm before he came in so we went to the canteen and Luna was in there. I told her what I heard Victor say about you and she suggested coming here to warn you.”

He looks at me bleary eyed and says “Good job Kirsty. What did he say?”

Victor said “Theo will never be better than me and yet the higher management prefer him to me they want him as leader but I can't accept that something must be done!”

“OK, thanks for the warning I will watch what I do now.”

He realises that there is something puzzling me and takes me over to a room. Once in the room I realise it is his bedroom. His eyes are more awake now and he now begins to put a black t-shirt on in one smooth motion. He looks at me with an expression like I’m about to break him bad news and says “You have another ability don't you?”

I look at him and I can't stop imagining his bare skin an then nod slowly.

“What happened” he said calmly.

I relax and say “I was asleep but I heard a Victor's voice, but there was no one there to create the voice just two minuets later Victor came along the corridor, the voice got clearer it said ““Theo will never be better than me and yet the higher management prefer him to me they want him as leader but I can't accept that something must be done!” I realised that I was the only one hearing the voice as Kate was still asleep. I think I have the ability to sense danger by hearing certain thoughts going through someone’s mind.”

There is a silence for a few minuets and then I can't help myself I break down crying.“This is scaring me now Theo.” I say in a haste with a slight hint of anger.

He comes over gives me a hug and says “Thank you for remembering to tell me. Just remember” he says looking at me like he's concerned. “You are unique you can adapt to any new abilities, but so far these have all been abilities to survive. These abilities I have come across before.”

“Y- you aren't... scared of me” I say stuttering.

“No, how could I be scared of you when you have fascinated me since the first time I saw you. Plus there is nothing that scares me that is another one of my abilities I can deal incredible well with fear, you're not the only one with more than one ability.”

By this point I feel I know Theo more than anyone else. It is like he is part of my family. He still has his muscular arms around me, I decide to take a chance and hug him back even though this is probably against the rules, but I don't care he is the first person I can talk to since my brother died. I feel connected but I am too afraid to act on just one impulse.

“We better go” I say “Luna and Kate are waiting outside.”

“Oh, Right” He says like he has forgotten what he was meant do. He walks out of his bedroom but as he does he miss judged the door and his shoulder hits the frame as he goes out. He goes to see where Tobias is but he is already on the sofa waiting with Luna and Kate. Tobias looks up and glances from me to Theo and he then smiles as I walk past him he winks at me like he knows something is going on.

I join Luna and Kate on the sofa. Kate looks slightly embarrassed.

“What's wrong?” I ask.

She replies with a smile “Oh, Nothing just saw two men without a top who are meant to be our superiors. How am I meant to take them seriously now when that image comes in to my head when ever I see them. Its bad enough...” She whispers to me” “That I kind of fancy Tobias and I’m now even more distracted than normal.”

I grin and whisper back “I know exactly what you mean I kind of fancy Theo I think but I can't be sure if he feels the same so I'll just have to wait and see.”

Kate looks shocked and says “Well least I'm not the only one.”

I shrug my shoulder and say “Well never ruin something that is already good.”

Kate says “Do you think I should do the same with Tobias?”

“Sure” I say “Wait for him to make the first move especially since we're still training just try your best to impress him.”

“OK” she says.

Theo says “Right today's training we shall go on a field trip but we will have to run 10miles to get there.”

“Where are we going” I ask him.

Theo says “We are going to Endwater so you can check on your parents and make sure they are all right.

A nervous knot tightens in my stomach.

Theo notices my face drop and as the others leave the apartment. Theo stays behind and holds my hand. I feel a jolt of electricity go through me when he grabs my hand . He says “Don't worry, I'll be with you the whole time so if you need to later you can talk to me.”

“Are you going to check on your family too?” I ask.

He grins and says “ Of course the fact its been 2 years since I've seen my family and you only saw them 2 weeks ago makes me have an urge to see them. It means you get to see your family and I get to check on mine.”

“Oh” It occurred to me that if he and I didn't leave Endwater we could have been together struggling to survive the harsh life. Instead of living in terror that someone will find out about us and our abilities. Me and Theo leave the apartment and begin to run towards Endwater.

Chapter 20

By lunch time we get to Endwater, everything is in the same bad state as when I left nothing has changed as far as I know, but it does seem quieter. In fact the buildings look as if they are on the verge of tumbling to the ground now. I look at Theo and I see all of his memories of where he used to play when he and his brothers where young. I guess that is another ability to see peoples past just like Tobias' ability. All of a sudden I see the house where my brother died, I see him screaming as the flames consume his clothes and body. I stop suddenly like if I stop it will stop but this isn't the case it continues going until his final moment. However I don't remember this moment we must have gone. Luke says with his dying breath “God look after my sister.”

The thought that I was the last thing he thought about brings a sadness in my soul that I burst out in tears. Theo comes rushing over and asks “What's wrong?”

Through the sobbing I say “I j-just saw my brother, Luke die and the last thing he said was.... God look after my sister. This is the worst ability possible.”

Theo gives me a hug and says “At least you knew he loved you enough to sacrifice his life for yours. No one has ever done anything like that to me.”

“I also have another ability appear it is the same as Tobias' I saw you here playing in this area with your brothers when you were younger.”

Theo looks stunned “Another one” he says “Gosh your up to four abilities now you've beaten me now you are the only one to have that many abilities. I'm sure Tobias can teach you how to control that one.”

“I don't feel like I'm myself any more” I say “I feel like I'm a puzzle waiting to be put together a bit like the ancient children's story book character Humpty Dumpty. Help me Theo?” I whisper to him “Help me find myself again.”

Theo looks at me with sympathetic eyes and holds me tight in his grasp and plants a kiss on my forehead. “How's that?” he says “Did that help you find yourself?”

I smile shyly and shocked “A bit, but only for a while.”

“We have to take it slow.” Theo says.

I smile with a cheeky grin “Are you sure you're still talking about my abilities Theo?”

He smiles “The point applies for both” he says with an embarrassed look on his face.

We carry on walking side by side with his hand in mine, to our houses which are right next to each other parted by a semi-destroyed wall. I walk up the overgrown path to my door and knock 3 times. No one answers the door and a feeling of dread over runs my body. I push the door and to my horror I see my parents lying on the floor with a pool of blood surrounding them. I turn away as I can't see how they died. The feeling makes me nauseous and my hearing is impaired everything sounds as if I’m underwater. Everything is echoing and causing me to have a headache. Once my hearing and headache have gone I look towards where my parents are laying then I see them alive. I think to myself please No No don't let me see them die, I don't want to see them die. There is a knock at the door and they go to answer the door. Once they open the door I recognise who is standing there it is Victor. He says “Sorry to bother you, but you have to be tested for the magnitude gene.

My father says “OK we have nothing to hide.”

Victor tests my father and there is nothing out of the ordinary in his gene's. Then he test my mother and victor says “Ah a magnitude gene. Well your too crazy to experiment on so?” He draws his gun and just before the shot explodes out of the barrel of the gun, my father jumps in front of my mother, and the bullet goes straight into his head. My father collapses onto the ground with his legs crumbling under him. When his head hits the ground hard with a crack. It makes me feel incredibly sick. Victor then shoots my mother, but she just falls to the ground still alive just bleeding from a bullet hole in her stomach but the bullet I could see went straight through her. She begins to wail in pain and begins to cry as she can see my father just laying there. Victor takes a vile out of his pocket and gathers some of my mothers blood, so that he could get the scientists to analyse the genes in it and can hopefully reproduce it in all of Fandale's residents.

Victor leaves and I see him walk next door to Theo's old house. I stare endlessly at my parents I am so shocked that I didn't see Theo standing next to me. Once my shock as subsided a bit I realise that Theo is holding my hand. I look at him and say “Victor done this I just saw how my parents died. Victor went next door we should go and check on your family now....”

Chapter 21

Me and Theo walk next door we knock but no answer. We slowly push the door open and his mother is on the floor in a pool of blood. We look around the house for his brothers we call out there names “Steve, Roger are you here?”

We go through into the lounge and see Roger on the floor still alive but only just. Theo goes up close to him and holds his cold hand and asks Roger “Who done this to you? Where is Steve?”

Roger looks pleased to see Theo his younger brother but then says “Steve left to go and get some food for us he is probably on his way back by now. A man name Victor done this to me said I was accused of hiding a magnitude but I didn't.”

Theo looks at him as he slowly closes his eyes and he stops breathing for the first time I see a tear come to his eye and the look of shock on his face soon turns to revenge.

I hold his hand and give him a hug. Suddenly we hear the door open we get down low so we can attack if Victor has come back, but as the figure comes in he plants something down on the kitchen side and then he spots Roger and his mother. I realise it is Steve. Theo gets up slowly and say “S-Steve!”

He darts his eyes to me and Theo and with sadness and desperation he throws himself to his younger brother. Steve says slowly “What happened? Why are you here?”

Theo speaks calmly “We arrived earlier to see Kirsty's parents to check they were all right, but when we got there they where all ready lying dead on the floor. Kirsty mentioned about checking on you, mum and Roger, but when we got here Mum was dead on the floor and Roger just died a few minuets ago. He told me that Victor was the one who pulled the trigger on them.”

Steve seems shocked and tries to speak Wh - what happens to me I have no family in Endwater now.”

“Neither do I... mine are all dead.” I say like I’ve just realised that I’m the last survivor of my family.

Theo says “Steve you will come with us there is no way I'm leaving you here alone. We will be our own family, we shall look out for each other.”

Me and Steve nod to agree.

We collect Tobias, Luna and Kate from outside my house and we head back to Tobias' and Theo's apartment in silence and with a revenge to hurt Victor just like he hurt Steve, Theo and Me. I want to hurt him so bad that I want him to suffer just like he did to my mother when he watched her bleed to death. Theo grabs my hand and I grab his. We seem to be closer now because we both just lost two family members and we can now relate better to what each other are feeling. We didn't need to say anything just a glance at each other we could see what the other one was feeling.

Chapter 22

We arrive at Theo's and Tobias' apartment and we all crowd round the two sofa's with a sad expression on our faces. “What do we do Theo?” asks Kate.

He looks up from the ground and says “ We should take over Fandale leadership and make this country a safe haven for people who have the magnitude gene and we shall teach them how to use them and control them just like we're doing with Kirsty.”

I look around and then say “Victor was scared of Theo and perhaps now he should be terrified with all of us behind him.”

The rest of the group seem shocked that me and Theo want to take Victor's leadership.

“We need some more people if you want to over rule Victor.” Tobias says.

“I know there are more people with the magnitude gene in hiding and I know someone who knows where they are as she is the one who told them where to hide when she found out they where magnitudes and how to control their abilities.”

Luna asks “Who”

I speak up because I know who he is talking about “Eve” I say smiling but not a happy smile a relived one.

“Right” Theo says “Me and Kirsty will go and talk to Eve. Tobias and Kate you go and find everyone in the compound who we know has a definite ability. Luna and Steve you can draw a map of Fandale and find us a safe place to meet where we won't get caught.”

We all nod and accept our roles.

Tobias and Kate leave the apartment first and they head towards the canteen. Next Steve and Luna leave the apartment and go to look at abandoned warehouses in the outskirts of the country with easily defend-able entrance.

Soon it is just me and Theo in the apartment or eyes meet and he has a look on his face like he's nervous and maybe taking a chance with something. He walks over and pulls me against him. He makes my heart pound and I'm not sure what I am meant to do so I just stay still. He says whispering in my ear “I've been meaning to do this for a while but I wanted to be sure and now seems the perfect time to do it while we're still alive.”

I smile and he plants a kiss on my lips and once again I feel like I know him better than anyone. When we separate I am so shocked that he felt this way about me. I have never been this close to a boy before even if he is only a year older than me. The feeling excites me but also terrifies me.

“We shall meet later after we speak to Eve.” Theo say.

We leave the apartment and head to the canteen.

Chapter 23

The canteen is full of the residents getting their lunches so by the time we get to the canteen it is full and there is no seats left. I look over to where Eve is normally working but Eve isn't working there so I look around to see if I can see her in a different part of the canteen. Without luck looking for her we decide to ask one of her working colleagues where she is but she doesn't know. “That's odd” I say to Theo. “She told me that she always works in the canteen and this is where I could find her if I had any problems or questions.”

“Yeah... It is she never has any time off work. Lets check her apartment.”

We leave the canteen and as we do we bump into Tobias and Kate who are looking to recruit magnitudes to our cause. Tobias and Kate are holding hands and smiling we ask “How many have you recruited?”

They reply “About 40 in this country we're going back to the other countries after we've eaten to see how many we can get to join the cause.”

“Good.” Theo says. “Keep up the good work.”

We leave the canteen to go to check Eve's apartment. When we get there the door is open and a nervous feeling gathers in the pit of my stomach. The same feeling when I realised something had happened to my parents. We slowly open the door to see paper and furniture thrown around the room it looks as if someone was looking for something, but what ever it was they didn't find it. We search the rooms to see if Eve has given us a clue of where she will be. All of a sudden I see what happened. Eve was in here just resting when Victor came in and demanded the documents for the specialist program at least that is what he called but I could guess it is the document for tells us the people with the magnitude gene and where they are hiding. She didn't tell him nothing even when he started beating her and continued till she said something. When she saw her chance she ran, but to where (I think) then I remembered that she was a transfer to so perhaps she went home. Which country did she come from I'm not sure. Once the vision had stopped Theo says “Victor was here wasn't he?”

I nod “But she didn't give him the document she was hiding of all the residents with the magnitude gene. It is still in here somewhere. We search behind walls and furniture then I remembered her saying you can always find me in the canteen. I look at Theo and say “Were wasting time here it isn't here she probably hid it in the canteen where she normally works.”

“Good thinking.”

As we go to head back to the canteen. I notice something in the corner of my eye. I see a cupboard and I can see something moving in it. I open the cupboard which is as small and can only fit a few objects in it and as I open it Eve falls to the ground alive but badly beaten. She has a broken nose; two black eyes; a very severe split lip. As I try to move her from the cupboard a scream comes from her mouth and then we notice that there is a big bruise the size of a dinner tray they use in the canteen right on her ribs. Me and Theo look at each other and he rushes over and scoops her up in his arms being careful or all her cuts and sore bruises and takes her to his apartment.

Chapter 24

When we get to his apartment he lays her down on his bed and runs to get a number of ice packs from the freezer to bring down the swelling of her face and ribs. He takes a closer look at her ribs and he can feel that Victor has broken a few of them so he gets a bandage out of a draw and raps it around her ribs to stop them from moving about and damaging her vital organs. Once Theo has done all of this he leaves her to sleep and comes out of his room.

I sit on the sofa and waited for Theo to conduct the first aid that Eve needed. For once I feel helpless I couldn't help her I don't know first aid perhaps I should learn then I could help the people who need that urgent treatment. Once Theo finished helping Eve he comes and sits next to me on the sofa. He looks even more annoyed now that Victor didn't just attack our family, but our friends too. Victor must know something is going on. Theo grabs my hand and says “What ever happens nothing will break us OK?”

“OK” I sounded a bit more relived than I was meant to but he just smiles and kisses me right on the lips just as the door opens and Tobias and Kate walk in. Theo goes a bright red shade and looks like he has been caught doing something naughty. Tobias and Kate come over to the sofa and say “Weren't you meant to be finding Eve and not each other? Tobias says with a glint in his eye.

Me and Theo just look back and notice that Tobias and Kate are holding hands and say “ We could say the same to you and we did she was in a cupboard in her apartment beaten to shreds, so we bought her back here and now she is sleeping in my room.” Theo says to Tobias.

“Anyway” I say “How many did you manage to recruit?”

Kate says “We managed to get 180 magnitude recruits and 20 normal fighters from here mainly friends of a magnitude, or they just want revenge against Victor but we need the numbers considering there are 500 residence in Fandale that have military or training experience that could defend Victor.”

“Has anyone heard from Steve and Luna?” I ask.

Everyone shakes there head and Theo looks worried I don't think he would be able to cope knowing that he is the last of his family. If he lost all of his family on the same day would severely leave a lasting scar not just in his emotions, but on his soul which he may never recover from.

A few minuets later the door opens and Luna and Steve come into the apartment. Theo's face seems suddenly relived and he seems to relax more.

Luna says we found our base of operations it is near the big wheel but is about 5 miles away from the centre of Fandale and is only 1mile from the border of Fandale. It is camouflaged because there is about four abandoned buildings and our abandoned building is the smallest but can't be seen till your up close. It has an office and hall on the 100th floor so we can see any dangers coming and we have a chance to defend it if we need to.”

“Well done, we shall move there this afternoon we will have to help Eve to get there considering she is nursing at least two broken ribs and many bruises. Get some rest we shall move in an hour.”

Tobias and Kate head into Tobias' room but leave the door open I guess they will just be talking or sleeping. Steve and Luna are in the kitchen cooking and chatting by the smell of what they are cooking it smells like they're making a cake. It is just me and Theo on the sofa we can't go into his room so he just gathers me in his arms and we fall asleep. An hour later I wake up with Theo looking over me. He kisses me and then I get up of the sofa and start to pack my belongings and supplies.

Once everything packed including food, clothing and supplies we gather the bags between us so we all carry a bag each. Me and Theo go to grab Eve from his room to my surprise she is awake. We take her arms and she slowly puts one foot in front of the other, but every time she breaths her face changes I guess her ribs are still causing most of the pain. We then walk slowly out of the apartment towards our new base.

Chapter 25

Once out of the apartment we walk through the training facility Tobias and Kate gather the people they talked to and by time we get to the entrance of the facility there is at least 60 more people we walk towards the big Ferris wheel and it takes me and Theo slightly longer as we are still walking with Eve although she has picked up a bit of a rhythm and doesn't wince so much but the others are still in front. Once we get to the building Steve and Luna found we use the elevator to get to the 100th floor. Once we reach the floor it is really spacious but dusty but it has unique artwork and pillars holding up the ceiling as design not for safety. There lots of shapes on the ceiling made of plaster which they used to use before the war. When you look up at the ceiling it looks as if the ceiling is swirling around you but it is a different look and for a minute you forget where you are. There is plenty of room for everyone to sleep and there are many separate rooms for those who want to share with someone. The hall is an ideal training room as it is a big wide open space with a high ceiling. Me and Theo will have to train some of our new members. We place Eve in one of the separate rooms and begin to find where we will sleep. Theo points to the room next to Eve's there is a double bed with a small bedside table and one wardrobe in it. It is very plain but I don't mind plain.

“OK,” I say with a grin on my face.“I will share with you.”

He grins and says “I knew you wouldn't be able to resist me.”

I smile and then out of the corner of my eye I see Kate and Tobias choose the room the other side of Eve. A smile comes to my face because of our abilities we have become closer than others and it seems that it wasn't just me finding someone to share the experience with. I also noticed further down that Steve and Luna were sharing a room also it is funny to me, they must of connected when they were cooking earlier. It was strange that 6 completely different people who have one thing in common a magnitude gene have managed to find someone to share the experience and danger with. The best part is that it all started with being friends and gradually coming together with our gifts has made us stronger as a group.

Chapter 26

Me and Theo slip out of the building and we head to the Ferris wheel which stands high in the sky. We find a part of the carnival where we can just sit and talk which is nice considering the amount of events that have happened to us the last couple of days. There is a bench right in front of the Ferris wheel so we decided to sit there looking at all the bright lights from the carnival. He puts his arm around my shoulder as he notices that I'm shivering. “Are you cold?” He asks

I nod slowly. He takes off his leather jacket and slips it around my shoulders. “T-thank you” I say stuttering from the cold.

Theo is now just in a tight white t-shirt and I could see all of his muscles and the outline of his tattoo. He wraps me up in his arms and lifts me off of the bench onto his lap. My heart starts beating faster and I just hope that he doesn't notice. Theo places his chin on my shoulder and whispers into my ear. “I now know that I definitely want to date you and ever since I first laid eyes on you I knew. You would be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

I am shocked that he just came out and said it but I am also quite flattered and it makes me like him even more. So I whisper back “Well just so you know I have a crush on you since the first time I saw you.”

His eyes light up and he kisses my neck.

We decide to go back to the building as it was getting late. Once we get into our room. I ask him “Why did you get the tattoo?”

He looks confused about when I saw him without a top and then he remembers and the blood rushes into his cheeks. He scratches the back of his head as he begins to talk. “I got the tattoo because before the war all the men in my family were policemen and they all wore a badge to be identified as a law abiding citizen. I wanted their history to be on me at all times.”

“That is cool that you know so much about your history. I wish I knew some more about what my ancestors did?”

“Do you want to see it? he asks me with a cheeky grin.

I think carefully if I say yes I will get to see his body again but that could be a dangerous thing but if I say no he may get offended.

“Sure” I say with a smile on my face.

He looks at me with a cheeky grin and says “Are you asking me to undress?”

“Only partially” I say nervously like I’ve been caught doing something I’m not suppose to.

“All right” he say. He takes the tight white t-shirt off in one smooth motion and I see all of his muscles contracting and expanding as he takes the t-shirt over his head. My eyes try to look at his face but they keep on moving down his bare skin taking everything in their stride. I notice my heartbeat is racing and I can feel the blood rushing to my face. Theo looks at me and says “Am I making you nervous?”

I say “Its not you... I'm not sure I can control myself and I'm afraid of what it may lead to. I'm afraid of what I want”

“You want me?”

I nod shyly answering his question.

“Don't be afraid, I will not take advantage of you.”

I spot the tattoo and I place my hand on his chest where the tattoo is placed. I use one of my fingers to follow the shape of it. His hands grab mine seeing that I'm being careful not to touch anything else and he rubs my hands from his stomach up to his neck. He then kisses me strongly and I slide my hand down his spine. We continue kissing for awhile. After a while I have to slow down otherwise I won't be able to stop. He looks at me with a satisfaction “We should get some sleep tomorrows going to be a busy day.”

I nod and he and I get into bed and as he grasps me in his strong arms I fall asleep feeling safe which hasn't happened for a long time not since Luke died.

Chapter 27

We awake to the noise going on outside the room. I turn over to see Theo and he slowly kisses me till I’m fully awake and I start to kiss him back. “Morning” Theo says quietly.

“Morning, What have we got to do today?”

“Me and you are going to ask Eve about the magnitude gene document and where we can find those people to see if they want to fight Fandale with us.”

“Right” I say with a grin “You just want to keep me all to yourself don't you?”

He grins “Yes that is exactly that I can't bare to be without you.”

We walk out of our room and head next door to Eve's room and she is sitting up but still looks a long way to go to be completely healed at least today she looks like she can see out of one of her eyes. “Morning Eve” we say together.

She groans and then says “Morning. How can I help you too?”

“We are planning to over throw Victor at Fandale and we are going to make it a safe haven for people who have the magnitude gene. We were wondering if you could tell us the people with this gene so we can ask them if they want to fight with us?”

Eve looks shocked “Where has this plan come from?”

“Victor killed the rest of my family and killed Theo's mother and older brother. Theo now only has one brother. I have 4 abilities so far one is speed and quick learning; second is the ability is to see the past of a person if I'm where they live; and third I have the ability to see ghosts who have had a horrible death and the forth is to hear bad thoughts in people.”

“Oh, is that all I missed while you have been training.”

“Yeah, just wondering if you could help us out?”

“Sure but those that don't want to join you, you must keep their abilities a secret.”

“That's fine”
She hands us a list which she hid in a compartment in her t-shirt specially made for it.

“Thank you.” Me and Theo say.

We begin to leave Eve's room and she calls out “Get that vicious man and make him pay for what he has done to all of us as well as the magnitude gene carriers.”

“We will I promise.” I call back

Me and Theo go back to our room and look over and read the list Eve just gave us. The people on it are mainly based in Endwater, because who in their right mind would want to live there. I suppose that it is a good hiding place. There isn't many people there so there wouldn't be any questions asked.

I look at Theo as he reads down the list and then all of a sudden his face drops when he sees Roger's name on the list. His face now turns red with anger as underneath Roger's name he stops reading and rushes down towards Steve's room. I look at the list and see Steve's name is under Roger's, so I quickly catch up to Theo and he is just about to enter Steve's room. I follow him in and Theo begins to shout at Steve. “Why didn't you tell me you had a magnitude gene?”

Steve looks shocked like he doesn't know what is going on but then it dawns on him. “I only found out three weeks ago that I could heal quickly and grow new limbs its too late for this arm. I accidentally cut my finger off with a saw when I was collecting supplies and it healed and then the next morning I had all 5 fingers on that hand. It freaked me out so I went to ask Roger a couple of days ago before he died. Did I get him killed?”

“No I think it was both of out faults, but why didn't you tell me when I brought you here.”
“I was afraid you would think I was a freak. I thought I was the only one.”

I look up sadly and say with sorrow “I thought I was the only one who had this gene, but turns out I’m more of a freak than you all. I have 4 different abilities and Theo has 2. He has the fast healing one just like you must have something to do with your parents.”

Theo looks over to me with a sadness in his eyes “Your not a freak, your one of the most normal ones here. Even if your abilities are different you are normal to me and your my freak.”

I smile like he just admitted that he liked me in front of his only family. I shyly speak “I don't think you got your family killed if anything I did. I asked them to look after my parents if I knew my mother was like me I would have stayed at Endwater and maybe they would be all still alive.”

“If you hadn't left what makes you so sure that the rest of us would still be alive. Life is a double edged sword no matter which way you turn something doesn't always go right, but we just have to live with it. Together we shall get through it.” With that Theo gives me a hug and once again I feel safe and powerful like I can accomplish anything, but when he lets me go I feel like I may crumble. We leave Steve's room and we go back to ours.

Chapter 28

I am so grateful of Theo I don't think I would have made it this far without him. He is a bit like my rock and I feel that I should tell him this. “Theo” I say shyly “Thank you for everything, I know that I've had some difficulties adapting to these new abilities, but I'm glad I had you to guide me. When I'm wrapped in your arms I finally feel safe, just like my brother used to make me feel. I haven't felt that for 2 years and you are the only one I feel comfortable with.”

Theo smiles and slightly turns red with embarrassment “Well you helped me come to terms with my emotions. I have never felt comfortable with anyone, but you and for once I think that I may be in love with you and I think I've known for a while, but I didn't want to scare you.”

“You couldn't scare me I have been through too much to be scared. I thought I had nothing to live when I lost my parents. If I didn't have you, I wouldn't have nothing to live for, but I realised that I’m in love with you and I didn't want to live on without you.”

Theo just looks shocked that I may have lost my mind if it wasn't for him.

Once that shock passed he now his eyes are big and brown and I feel lost when I look at them. I realise that he has now got me in his grasp and I feel safe but unsure of myself again. I feel his lips on mine and the worry goes away instead I am just lost and I don't want to come back. I run my hands up and down his spine and run my fingers in his hair. I was hoping the noise outside would mask the sigh I made when he pulled me closer to him. He starts to kiss my neck and I melt like putty, but I can't stop. I want to, but I also don't. I trust Theo he won't get angry if I need to stop but so far this is acceptable. Our clothes are on and we're not on the bed. If he takes of his top then I'm in trouble I think, but what I don't realise his top is already off. I kiss him one more time running my hands on his bare skin and then I have to pull away before I we get to far. He looks at me with respect that I know my limits. He leaves his shirt off and just pulls me close and cuddles me. I can smell his sent of laundry detergent and sweat. My insides just melt like they're ice- cream and the pounding in my heart gets faster and faster.

“Sorry Theo, I couldn't go through with it.”

“It's OK, Kirsty I don't mind waiting till your ready. We should probably focus on finding this people with the magnitude gene anyway. When your ready just let me know. Just remember I love you nothing will change that.”

“I think you are definitely my soul mate and you will be the one someday because I love you too. Thank you for being patient with me.”

We get up off of the bed and Theo puts his shirt back on and we look at the list and work out which ones to ask first. Once we've decided we head out of the dorm and begin the journey to Endwater.

Chapter 29

We walk slowly to Endwater with the list in a pocket I had stitched up so that if we got caught they wouldn't find it on me. Me and Theo walk hand in hand to Endwater slightly scared to go back because of what happened the last time we came here. It was a horrible day for me an Theo and we want to forget it but it is impossible when I keep on getting replays from my irritating ability to see the dead. I still see my brother everywhere in Endwater but I’m not sure whether it is actually my ability or just my mind playing tricks on me. I grasp Theo's hand tighter as we get closer and closer to the outskirts of Endwater we go underneath the bridge and then the darkness appears and the smell of sewage and rotting bodies hit us as soon as we hit the tunnel entrance,as we walk through I begin to feel sick and there is a heaviness in my stomach a bit like a rock.

We walk down the street to the first house it begins to rain turning everything red in sight. In Endwater no matter how old you are you will always be baptised in blood at some point of your life. I look at Theo and his face is now beginning to have red streaks of blood falling down and his expression is now looking nervous, as this could be our families blood from when Victor killed them. I feel all the anxiety submerge me as we get to the first house we knock and a young lady answers the door. “Hello” we say kindly.

We ask her if we could come in and she obliges with no questions asked. “I'm Kirsty and this is Theo. We are from Fandale, but we are planning to over throw Victor the leader of Fandale and make Fandale a safe place for people with the magnitude gene just like us. Would you be willing to fight with us? All training will be provided. If you do decide to join we are based in Fandale by the Ferris wheel there will always be one of our representatives will be monitoring that area at all times. If you know anyone who would also be interested in fighting our cause with us please bring them along with you or just tell them where to meet.” I say.

“How did you know that I have the magnitude gene?”

“Our friend Eve gave us your information and we have already come across people who have died from having this gene or even knowing that someone has this gene. We are trying to save everyone like us.” Theo says sincerely.

Thank you I shall think about it.” She replies slowly.

“Thank you for your time.” I say.

We leave the first house and walk down the path and move towards the next one on our list. I get out the list to look at it. The list is now a dyed a red colour from the rain we where in. I see the next house and we head towards it.

We walk to the house and we walk up the path to their front door we knock 3 times and wait patiently. There isn't an answer so we slowly open the door to see many people in a pile in the middle of the floor sitting down tied up in string all dead. Me and Theo look at each other in shock we haven't seen that many people dead in one place before.

Suddenly the vision appears and I see every single one of their deaths it makes me feel incredibly sick. I see Victor and 2 others just go in and shoot everyone there. It didn't matter that there was about 50 people there and about 10 children there some of the children weren't even 3 years old. I suddenly see Victor and the 2 others grab each of the dead bodies and move them into a group which they then tie them up to make them look like they are sitting in a circle in the middle of the lounge. Once the vision clears I feel so sick that I go back out the door, just so Theo can't see me throw up, but once again he is standing right by me patting me on the back. Once the emptiness and shock clears my stomach.

I turn to Theo and say still slightly shocked “That was 60 people including 10 children and some had even reached 3 years old yet. They didn't even test for the magnitude gene and Victor and his goons just shot them all and then made them look like that with the help of his two goons.”

Theo looks stunned, but not shocked that I threw up because I think anyone would have done if they saw that. Instead Theo just grabs my hand and says “If Victor was here that means he is trying to kill everyone in Endwater. We should get back and tell everyone what is going on.”

I nod slowly just waiting for the sickness feeling to pass. I don't think I will be able to sleep for a while now every time I close my eyes I see the death of everyone in Endwater.

We walk back down the path and head towards the tunnel to get us back to civilisation. As we head that way we see the lady we spoke to first with a group of

people around her of all ages.

“Hello” We say shocked at the amount of people standing with her.”

“Hello” she says “I'm Amy and we want to join the revolution of Fandale. I called everyone I know so they had enough time to get out of their houses and avoid the murderer Victor.”

“We thought there wasn't going to be that many as we just came from a house with 60 people and 10 children all dead in it.”

“Oh, I thought I called everyone. We have 300 people with me how many do you have?”

“We have 180 magnitudes and 40 normal fighters I think our last count was.”Theo says.

“So together that is 520 people fighting with us but Tobias and Kate may have found more since then.” I say.

Theo looks happy “Well looks like we have enough people to give Fandale a run for their money and most of us have a special ability. Victor should be shaking in his boots when we attack.”

“Lets not get cocky Theo.” I say grinning.

We head together to the tunnel and suddenly I hear a though of someone. I recognise the voice but its not clear yet the closer we get to the tunnel the clearer the voice is and then I realise who's voice I'm hearing its Victors. “You think I haven't see you plotting against Fandale, but I have when you go through the tunnel you will all die in a BOOM!”

I shout so the whole group can hear me “GATHER ROUND ME.”

They all come running Theo knows that one of my abilities has presented its self and he says calmly “What's wrong?, What did you hear?”

I look shocked that he knows that I heard something. I guess he can tell as he saw my expression, and he knows which ability causes which expression, because he has spent the longest time with me. “Victor has put explosives in the tunnel we need to use so when we go in we all die and it stops the revolution from happening since 2 of its leaders will be dead.”

“What do we do?” Amy asks.

“Well when I left Endwater, Eve showed me another way to get to Fandale we could use that way but it will take longer to get to Fandale.”

“If it is our only way to get out of this hell hole and a chance to be safe then, that is the way we shall go.”

We walk down the streets I walked 10 weeks ago when I decided to leave my family and turn my life around. I didn't know anyone and yet just 10 weeks later I'm one of the leaders of an army. Little did I know that my life would change so much that I am the only one left from my family and yet, when I'm with Theo I am completely happy. We make many turns down different streets till we get to a hole in the dome. We carefully walk through making sure no one gets cut by the sharp ledge and we continue to walk. Once we get to the bridge we walk over it and in the distance I can see the big wheel beckoning us to its light and the safety of our secret base.

The sight of Fandale is a relief because we got out of Endwater but it is also nerve-racking because in a couple of weeks we will be at war with them.

Once we get to the Ferris wheel we march into the building we have commandeered with an army of extraordinary people behind us. Once we get to the 100th floor we all pile into the hall. All of the previous recruits stop and stare as me and Theo walk in with a huge army around us. As we the last of the people come into the room in front of us stands Eve, Luna, Tobias, Kate and Steve who all look stunned about the amount of people with magnitude genes. Me and Theo say to Amy who is the leader of that group “Go and find yourselves some where to sleep there is plenty of space. We will start training at 12.30pm in the hall so be ready.”

Amy nods and goes with the others to find somewhere to sleep.

Eve looks pleased that we have saved so many people with the magnitude gene. She says weakly still recovering from her injuries “Was there any problems?”

I look at Theo who is nursing the same worried expression as me. “Well, Victor beat us to one of the houses and shot 70 people including 10 children some of which weren't even 3 years old.” I say

“Also Victor had planted a bomb in the tunnel connecting Endwater with Fandale luckily Kirsty remembered the way you showed her when she left Endwater so we lost no one in our platoon. Victor knows something is going on but I don't think he knows what.” Theo says.

Eve looks glad that she showed me the other way out of Endwater and the fact we lost no one gives her a smile. “Right, you, Theo, Tobias, Kate, Luna and Steve should get something to eat and then you have the fun of training everyone how to fight and how to use their abilities if they have one that will help us win this battle.”

We all agreed.

Me and Theo go to our room in silence to get changed from our blood stained clothes and put on some clean fresh clothes. I don't think changing our clothes will help us get rid of the image of the group of dead people in the house. All of a sudden Theo grabs my hand and whispers something in my ear “Just be glad we're alive. If we stayed at Endwater what's to say that we would still be alive and together.”

I smile a little he makes it so easy for me to forget where I am. He is like my rock when I think I’m about to break he comes to and says the right things. “How did you know I heard something when we where in Endwater?” I ask with curiosity.

He looks shocked that I noticed and then says “I could hear the voice too. I seem to have like you gained another ability which brings my total up to 3. I think I got that ability from spending so much time with you as I can sometimes hear what you are thinking.”

I am stunned and I throw my arms around Theo and say calmly “Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you with it. You don't have to keep anything from me just to protect me.”

“I didn't want to give you something else to deal with, you have already dealt with enough in your life and you don't need your me to cause you more anxiety.”

“Hey” I say with an authoritative voice “I will let you know when I can't cope with more information and when its your boyfriends, I will always have space to help you deal with your problems.” I go through everything I just said until I realised I just called him my boyfriend. I hope that he hadn't noticed, but I look over at Theo and his lip is curling into a smile. I turn bright red and finish putting my jacket on.

Theo comes up behind me and puts him arms around me and whispers into my ear. “Did you just call me your boyfriend?”

I feel my heart beating fast and its not just in my chest I feel the blood rushing into my cheeks and is say slowly “ Yes, why don't you want me to?”

It feels like forever when I am waiting for him to answer but he says calmly “Of course I do your my girlfriend.”

I feel calmer now knowing that he is going to share anything he experiences just like I have been doing with him.

Theo turns me around in his grasp and kisses me firmly on the lips and once again I feel all the pain and loss and anxiety just disappear even if it is only for a few minuets. “I'm glad I met you Theo, You give me something to live for. Without you I may have decided to end my life early.”

“Well I'm glad I met you Kirsty otherwise I would be a complete mess as I had never lost a family member before let alone two at once. I think that would have broken me. If you hadn't been going through the same thing as me. I think we will be together a long time because we always know what each other is thinking a bit like a connection which grows stronger when we are together.”

After today's all deal I don't feel like eating and neither does Theo which is understandable considering we went through the same thing today. It is 11am and we have an hour and a half to do something together. Instead of eating lunch we just lie down together in our room chatting and kissing and eventually falling asleep in each others arms... We awake to the alarm that Theo had set and the time is now 12.20, so we head to the training hall we had created in our commandeered building.

Chapter 30

When we get to the training room which normally seems huge is considerably small now there is a sea of bodies and heads in there. I'm sure if you looked down over the training facility it would look like a area of cobble stone. The sound of everyone chatting is incredibly loud and it will be a huge task to get everyone to quite down.

There is 500 people who need to be trained not only in combat but in using their abilities and there are only 6 instructors well 7 if you include Eve but she is still recovering from her injuries. There are only us 6 instructors because we have been using our abilities or at least know what abilities we have because of this magnitude gene we all have. The people we have to train some of them don't even know what their abilities are yet and we have to find out and train every single one of them to fight and use weapons.

“How do we do this?” I ask Theo being as he is used to training people but not of this scale.

“Lets start off finding out peoples abilities and then we can work from there today. Lets split them in groups of 83 people per group, then we all take one of those groups and discover what their abilities are. If we make notes we can arrange which ones can help us in the revolution and which ones are survival which may help us in other ways once we've done this. We should meet up in Eve's room and let her know what we found.”

“Sounds like a plan. Lets get started otherwise we will be here all night.”

We split the 500 strong group of people into the groups and we tell Tobias, Kate, Luna and Steve what we are doing. Steve doesn't look to sure of himself considering he only found out about his ability 3 weeks ago, so he and Luna team up so they have a larger group but they may get done quicker because they will be able to work as a part of a team. Tobias and Kate also team up as it makes the task less daunting and we could still find out two candidates skills at one time. In the end of me and Theo splitting the 500 candidates into 3 smaller groups of about 160 people because even me and Theo decided being together is better than being separate. We use our rooms to find out each of their abilities. Me and Theo will probably have to teach most of the candidates how to overcome their abilities as me and Theo between us have 7 so we have more experience in the ability side of things.

We call the first two candidates into mine and Theo's room. We take their names which in this case is Tom and Clara and then we ask them where they were originally from and if anything unusual happen to them? Tom came from Fandale and the only thing that is unusual is that he is an incredibly fast learner and can avoid most attacks. “Oh, someone with my ability” I say

He smiles as he walks out of the room.

Clara came from Endwater and she had two unusual things happen to her the first is that she completely healed someone who was close to death just by touching them and the second was she can fight with any object even though she had no fighting experience.

“Oh, well we won't have to train you in weapons then will we that is so cool.” Theo says.

Clara smiles and walks out of the door this goes on for hours until everyone knows what there abilities are.

We kept a list of names and their abilities next to them so we can tell Eve.

Name Ability
Clara Healing ability and Fighting ability with weapons
Tom

Reece

Quick learner in combat and weapons
Lucy

Nathan

Can camouflage easily without detection.
Craze

Dylan

Has fast speed in running and fighting
Tony

Penny

Can see people's pasts
Sophie

Lulu

Can use any computer even if broken
Clint

Ryan

Sandra

Has excellent hand eye coordination can hit a target a mile away.
Chris

Clark

Has immense strength
Hillary

Dee

Incredible intelligence
Ben

Jack

Can see glimpses of the future
June

Anne

Incredibly flexible.

Once we finished the lists. Me and Theo look at all the different types of abilities and I realise that me and Theo have one ability that only me and him have which is we can hear when danger is coming. “We are the only 2 with the ability to hear someone's thoughts if they affect our survival. No one has my visions of the dead either.”

Theo grins and says “That's because we don't want any nasty surprises. We have had enough of them and we are sensible to have that gift. As for your Visions of the dead perhaps that was meant to be your brothers gift and he gave it to you when he died. It means you can still see him whenever you want.

We make our way to Eve's room and we bump into Tobias and Kate who are also doing the same thing. We all go into Eve's room together Tobias hand Eve his and Kate's list. Eve looks at it shocked as most of their people just have the ability to learn quickly. Once Eve has finished looking at their list Theo gives Eve our list which I can see by her face is interesting because there appears to be different abilities on it. Eve looks up at me and Theo and says “You two will have your work cut out when training these people to use their abilities correctly.”

I don't know why she wants me to train them as I haven't even graduated from the initiation yet. That would have been yesterday but I couldn't get there because we are in hiding and if I did it would be likely that I would end up like my parents if I did go. I feel Theo's eyes on my face like he knows something is wrong but is unsure what.

We return back to our room before Theo asks. “What's wrong Kirsty don't you want to train them with me?”

“I do but I'm technically not qualified because I didn't get to graduate yesterday because if I did I would end up like my parents.”

Theo has a grin on his face “Actually you did graduate I put in your scores early so you actually graduated when we left the compound of the training facility. I have your certificate here.”

Theo reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a tube of rolled paper tied up with ribbon. It has my name on it in black bold writing “Kirsty Smith” he hands the tube to me. Suddenly a sense of pride goes through me as I open the tube it says “Congratulations Kirsty Smith for completing your Fandale training. You are now a full fledged member of the society.”

I feel a tear fall from eye and I then feel Theo gathering me into his arms. I push my face into his chest and as I start to feel better Theo whispers in my ear “You deserve this and your parents and your brother would be very pleased and proud if they were here. Just like I am of you.”

Suddenly all the sadness subsides just as quickly as it arrived. “Theo, did you make me graduate early just so you could be with me?”

He's smile turns into embarrassment and says “It was one of the reasons but the main reason was because you where good at learning everything I have taught you. Like I said earlier you deserved it.”

I smile and his face seems to relax more once he saw me smile. I put my arms around his neck a place a firm kiss on his lips. He clutches my waist and pulls me closer to him. As he does he plants a kiss on my lips. I have never wanted to be so close to Theo before...

We get into bed and try to get some sleep as our day will be busy tomorrow especially since me and Theo will be training 250 people as some of us don't need training but others will do just to keep themselves alive long enough to win the fight.

Chapter 31

We awake to a sound of chatter and the intense sound of panic in their voices. The voices were overlapping so much it just sounded like noise I couldn't tell what anyone was saying but they seemed scared. Me and Theo quickly get dressed without saying a word like we know something terrible has happened and once again I have the same gut wrenching feeling just like I did when I went home and saw my parents and when me and Theo were recruiting volunteers and we came across a group of dead people. So far whenever my stomach felt like this it was for a good reason so once again I brace myself for the worst just before I leave the room.

As me and Theo enter the training room the whole room goes quite and Eve, Amy, Tobias, Kate, and Luna are looking nervous. Luna has a wet cheek which must be from tears that she had shed. She is trying to hide them but we can't work out why until Theo notices that Steve isn't there with the others. In a panic Theo demands “Where is Steve?”

He looks towards the others with a nervous glance and then he turns to me and I can see his eyes welling up with tears as he now realise once again something bad has happened to his family and I bet he realises that Victor probably had something to do with Steve but what we still don't know.

Eve speaks slowly “T-there was a break-in last night we managed to defend the tower however Victor managed to kidnap Steve from right under our noses and we tried to recover him but by time we finished fighting we had lost him and 50 members of our platoon so now they have more soldiers than us. We will get him back we will go and attack tomorrow to retrieve Steve and take over Victor.”

Theo looks shocked that we lost 50 people in one night as was I. The thought Victor has Steve is too much to bare for Theo and he goes into a state of desperation and shock. When I look at Theo I just see a blank expression and all of the light in his eyes that I fall into when I look at him has gone. I guess that is because the light is his heart and soul which are now completely broken now his only family member has now been taken from him and if Theo finds out that Victor has had him killed I am pretty sure that would finish Theo off completely. I slowly grab Theo's hand and lead him to our room to see if I can snap him out of this emptiness. I sit him on the bed give him a minuet to see if he will snap out of it on his own.

“Theo” I say gently but with authority.

He looks back at me keeping eye contact but his expression is still non-existent. I sit next to him on the bed and place one hand over his shoulder pulling his head into my shoulder. I kiss his forehead softly to try and comfort him but that helped slightly I saw a sparkle not enough to get him out of this shock. I sit on his lap and kiss his lips for a second it doesn't register to kiss me back but eventually the light slowly comes back into his eyes and he kisses me back firmly. I finally can breath as when he wasn't all there I felt dead but now he is responding to me I feel alive and relieved as I thought I would lose him.

“S-sorry, for making you worry. I had to get my head around losing Steve.”

“I'm just relieved that you are back and I understand about being worried about the last of your family. I would be too if this happened to Luke. Just make sure you talk to me as you don't want to end up crazy with the shock. I will always be here for you, just like you are for me.”

“Thank you” Theo says gratefully.

“Are you all right to train the recruits with me?”

“Yes I need to keep my mind active so I don't dwell on what is happening to Steve.”

“OK, We shall start training the 225 recruits in one hour so you have some time to compose yourself as we need you we won't be able to lead Fandale if your not alive. You are a natural born leader who was meant for leadership!”

Theo looks shocked that I actually said that he would make a better leader than Victor. I think he was also shocked because I told him we need him alive, but that’s not true. I need him alive otherwise I will be non-existent as there would be no one to share my secrets or life with.

Theo says more surely “You would make a great leader to, I think Fandale would need to be ran with to leaders so that everyone could put suggestions in for what they want to improve that would make the world a better place. Besides I don't want to lead Fandale without you so make sure you don't die when we fight Victor.”

“I'll try my best not to die but if I do make sure you live a full life.” I say with sorrow in my voice.

“OK, but promise me if I die you will do the same. What should we do for an hour then?” Theo asks shyly and with a slight sadness in his voice.

“OK,” I say “We could try to figure out how to rescue Steve as me and you would probably be the rescue team while everyone else was fighting into the Fandale. Hopefully one of us will get to kill or capture Victor and then punish him for his crimes.”

“Yeah, Victor definitely needs some sort of punishment. Especially after what he put me and you through by killing our family members and hurting our friends and murdering 70 people including children he does deserve a punishment and a strong one at that.”

We look at the time and we were so engrossed in plotting revenge for Victor. The hour we had was now almost over, but at least Theo was feeling better and so was I so it made our situation more bare-able that Theo was even smiling now not completely but better than what we started with just the emotionless face. I am very glad that me and Theo found each other as we can get each other through any problems we face. We get up off the bed and head towards the door to begin training the remainder of 225 recruits.

Chapter 32

As we left our room and headed towards the training room we could hear sounds which sounded like people training but how could they we aren't there so who on earth is training our new recruits.

We enter the training room and see Eve, Luna, Amy, Tobias and Kate training the recruits. Eve spots us and a relived smile begins to appear on her face, I guess that her injuries are still healing so her helping train the other recruits must be causing her some pain. As we get close to the front of the training room Eve wraps her arms around us and says out of breath “Thank goodness you are all right Theo I thought we would be another instructor down. I am very glad Kirsty managed to pull you from your shock.”

“So am I.” Theo says kissing my forehead. “Without Kirsty I wouldn't be here.”

Eve loosens her grasp and says “You two can take over my group of recruits.”

Obviously Theo is better at training people than me as I haven't been working in that department for about 5 years. Theo is better as he trained Luna, Tobias, Kate and myself all to a high level of grade which means we could have any job we wanted.

“I am going to sit down and watch you two train our new recruits.” says Eve quietly with a panted, pained breath.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
BlueSunset
Review

Hello there! I will be here to try and review (some) of this piece, for my lack of reviewing skills and its length due to the amount of chapters contained here. :D

I see a wide variety of misused punctuation. Well, to say it better, in certain places you don't have the right amount of punctuation. This is mainly concerning commas, where I don't see them used where the could be. For example:

Irkdown and Fandale started fighting over new and improved technology that Dorgrove had created, which of course Irkdown wanted, but Fandale wasn't going to let them have it because Irkdown wanted to start a war with Endwater.

I was a little swamped by the length of this. I'm sure you could split this up into two sentences, or at least include some commas to add breathing areas for the reader and yourself. Without the punctuation, this (and other sentences) feel rushed and somewhat incomplete. Also, a tiny bit of dialogue/punctuation fix. Make sure after someone's speech that you put a comma or period, depending on the situation.
To fix punctuation, grammar, and along the lines of that, try proofreading once, or maybe twice. It can be a pain but I well encourage it, especially to long pieces that may have more due to the length.
I feel like you could spread the information out a little, in a way that runs along smoothly with the rest of the story. I don't particularly like a whole paragraph filled with factual information that may not be exactly appealing. Instead, it's more interesting to "hide" the information, or spread it out to balance the elements of facts and the story telling.

Along with this, you should split your paragraphs a little more. They are very thick and packed near the beginning of your story. However, I do like how you loosen up throughout the story and make it, in a way, more spacious, light, and flowing. Thick and bulky paragraphs can be nice -- sure -- at times, but in this form of writing I would encourage you to simplify the big ones and make them into multiple, reasonable paragraphs.
“Yes we will look after them for you. Sorry you have to leave, and thank you for the traps. You will be missed if that helps?”

This part seems a little.... awkward, if that's the right word. I think you could experiment with this and try figuring a different way to show the affection and gratitude.
“T-there was a break-in last night we managed to defend the tower however Victor managed to kidnap Steve from right under our noses and we tried to recover him but by time we finished fighting we had lost him and 50 members of our platoon so now they have more soldiers than us.

Do you think there is a better way to imply this? Perhaps starting a conversation with the others? This seems incomplete and could be said in several pieces of dialogue. I like to put it this way: there is no limit in length, as long as the quality is good.

In my opinion, your characters seem to progress a lot in relationship, strength, etc. I have some questions concerning this and other topics.
What does everyone look like?
Are they all the same age? When did they all get there?
And, the end doesn't seem quite finished, but I'm not exactly sure. I'm assuming you're continuing it, then?
If these questions were already answered, my apologies. ;)

Kirsty and Theo's relationship is a little confusing. I feel like they have only known each other for (perhaps) a week. Maybe progress on this relationship a bit/work through it? It doesn't seem correct to me as of right now. I expect that if you continue this a little more it will be developed and increase in quality and maybe fix my understanding on it.

Another main issue that I usually point out to the writer is imagery. It seems very important and this piece definitely would be nice with more of it. One sentence that particularly stood out to me:
Theo turns me around in his grasp and kisses me firmly on the lips and once again I feel all the pain and loss and anxiety just disappear even if it is only for a few minuets.

This explained the feeling, emotion, and picture of what was going on. This is critical in writing.

One last thing. The table. It was a nice accessory to the piece, I think it made your writing different from everyone else's. It made the piece a little more inclusive, and more attractive as well.
Otherwise, this is a good piece. Despite some of these fixes, I can't misjudge the development of your plot. I think it was quite interesting, and you had some key parts inside. I admire your effort and well set up plot.

Keeping writing,

Blue :D

Thanks for the content I will adjust my story accordingly. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I know it had many mistakes in it but I only started writing it 1 month ago and I was working long shifts so most of the story was written when I had the free time which was late at night.
I appreciate your contents.
Many thanks
Kdabbsie

User avatar
Ninlil
Review
Ninlil wrote a review · Sat Oct 15, 2016 10:57 pm

First of all, I think you did a great job. It is obvious, that you put allot of effort into this. Your ideas are refreshing and compelling Your plot is very well structured and I like the futuristic touch. However, some things still need to be polished.
You focus strongly on the plot, so you tend to leave little space for things like character development and setting. As you have created your own interesting world it would be neat if you could show the reader a little more of it.

"here are so many wires it looks like the computer has been there so long that it's started growing its own roots just like a potato does when it is left for a long time without being eaten."

Here you use some really decent figurative language. Give the reader more images like this.

Also, the sense of time is pretty confusing. The first few chapters were good, but later, things happen a little too fast. In chapter 20 suddenly 10 weeks had past, although it felt like no more than two. My suggestion would be to extend some chapters. For example, you revealed the special abilities of the main character very quickly, which left no space for digesting them. As these abilities are supernatural (in a science fiction kind of way) dish them up to the reader like some exotic, fancy dish. Let me savor each bite before moving on to the next.

Another issue are the dialogues. I like that they are clear and always push the plot forward, however, sometimes it seems a little unrealistic because the characters are able to form their thoughts and emotions so clearly. It’s cool if one character, for example, the main character does this, but not if everyone does.

The characters in general seem to rational. I am not informed, but I don’t think people who are dealing with allot of stress and traumas are able to act deliberate and reasonable. From time to time their emotions are shown with real impact, which is great. I would love to see more of that. Also, I noticed, that you repeated some words, like shyly and shocked over and over again. Use synonyms like; stricken, shaken, revolted, numb, dazed or even better describe how exactly they look, rather than just saying they look shocked, which you demonstrate really well in chapter 31 when Theo hears the news about Steve.

The romances also need some honing. Again, it fits neatly into the plot, but introduce me more softly into the relationship. Maybe devote a whole chapter for only Kirsty and Theo and move the main plot into the background.

Because when I read this sentence I was personally overwhelmed.

“I now know that I definitely want to date you and ever since I first laid eyes on you I knew. You would be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Then there are some minor grammar mistakes here and there. Particularly the commas are neglected.
(But you have my sympathy. I am not a grammar King either)

Lastly, I have some questions for the story:
* If Endwater has no plants, how can they breathe?
* What’s Eves actual profession?
* Are the countries really small or can they just travel really quickly?
* How is Feudal so rich, if the largest part of the population are soldiers? What is their economy?
* If all four countries are currently allied, why is Feudal so scared of being attacked?
* Why does Victor have so much power and what are is motives to be merciless? Does he have a backstory?
* Why does it rain blood and how is that possible?

So all in all I am truly impressed. If you keep editing, this will turn out to be an entertaining and gripping story.

Thanks for the tips I will make adjustments and continue to make different dimensions better and more descriptive. Thank you for your time in reading my story I know its long. Your comments have really helped me to understand what I need to do to make my story better.
Many thanks
Kirsty



To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.
— Proverbs 18:13