"Domain"

[pre]“Domain”

The force, strong and mysterious,
Is brewing inside of me.
I thought I could control it,
Had hope that I could tame it.
I have tried, and turns out,
I can’t…

It overtakes and consumes me.
Leaves me defeated and inaudible.

I’m not scared!
I’m powerful. Indestructible.
Often pushing the limits,
Testing how far I can bend without breaking.

My demeanor is changing,
Morphing into a mysterious stranger,
Who is pleasantly familiar.
I don’t know her,
And yet I do.
Her demeaning stare and sassy attitude
All seem safe and dangerous at once.

Have I always known this stranger?
The stranger who lurks in the darkness
Of my heart.
She keeps me safe.
But prevents me
From feeling, from thinking.
The stranger who haunts and guides me,
As each day passes.

How could I let this happen?
So unaware of her strengths
And my weaknesses.
Unconscious of how much I envied
And craved to be more like her;
The darkness of my heart.
A character of my imagination,
A person who never existed,
But only lives in me.

The darkness that dwells,
The person I am on the inside,
Breaking loose of the chains
And the cage of my mind.
Could I have done anything
To prevent her from taking control?
My lust and pride,
The power I craved.
She consumes me.

Part of me wants to disappear
And let her control,
But the other wants to fight
As long and hard as possible.
Accepting the beatings
And all the pain,
I stand and fight.
This stranger may be familiar
And may fathom all there is to comprehend
About me,
But tonight
I am the person I believe I am.

If I do become consumed,
I must accept all the changes.
I may not be happy
Until I accept that I must change
To grow and mature fully.
Am I scared of the darkness
That dwells inside of me?
You name a person who isn’t
And then we’ll see.
I am becoming a beautifully,
Dangerous, safe, character
From inside
Of my innermost
Domain.[/pre]

~ Kazie