z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

DUET :Chapter 2:

by SereneSimpliciT


I haven't seen Maggie since I walked away in the simulation hanger. Though, I have heard of her. The past three days, the name LAPIS has been spoken in high spirits throughout the Jeweloid Sector, especially during meals. Sammy and the others have bombarded me with questions about how she is, how the simulation went, and what I think of her in general. Though, I think everyone could tell that something has changed, especially Cent. When I happened to glance over at him while the topic was up for discussion, he was staring right at me with a look of concern cemented on his face. I don't believe I met his gaze again while we had that meal. I don't want him to start worrying about what has happened between Maggie and I.

Hell, before anything, I need to know what is going on. I came to the conclusion that something occured while Maggie and I were separated those six months. What exactly that is, unfortunately, is something I have yet to discover. She didn't really give me any hints during the simulation, although I do keep hearing her say that one sentence over and over again.

"Well I learned that that had been a mistake."

Thinking on that single phrase, she spelled out one fact for certain; she blames me for something. Simply thinking about it causes my brow to furrow, and my entire mood to sour. What could I have done? From what I can remember, there wasn't anything major that I did that could make her turn so cold against me.

I search my mind, rummaging through my memories to see if I can catch any sign that I had done something that had deeply offended her.

"Well . . . there was that time on the craft when I snapped at her . . . but I thought she had forgiven me for that. Or, well, she appeared to have forgiven me," I mumble to myself, "Yeah, and considering how we left everything, she didn't seem to be holding a grudge based on that."

"Isugoro, who are you talking to?"

I blink, and look up, surprised to find Sammy standing over me, the expression on her face similar to one Cent showed that day Maggie was brought up. I look her over, surprised to see her burnt orange hair is pulled back in a simple ponytail, a bit longer than I last recall, with her bangs hanging loose to frame her face nicely. Her uniform is a simple dark purple jumpsuit, which makes her recognizable Jeweloid features stand out even more than normal against her dark tanned skin. I grin bittersweetly, "No one, I'm just thinking out loud is all."

"What are you thinkin' about?" she asks as she sits herself down beside me, her southern dialect laced warmly through her words.

I don't answer quickly, debating whether or not I should actually tell her what's going on. She watches me intently, waiting for a response with a patient countenance in her orange stare. I sigh. Might as well tell her. "I'm just trying to figure out things with her," I reply vaguely.

Sammy's eyes widen, "Oh, you mean LAPIS?"

"Uh, yeah," I reply, realizing I never told Sammy what her name is, "She's . . . different."

"What do you mean?"

"She's nothing like how she was when she left six months ago. She's colder, and she seems to be mad about something."

"Well, did something happen before she left that could have made her bitter?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," I say as my shoulders slump, "We had maybe two arguments, but each was resolved. That, and we left each other on a positive note."

"What makes you think it was positive?" Sammy questions.

"Well, she was smiling for one," I answer.

"So she was happy to leave?"

"No, she was happy that I accepted her request to be her partner-"

"Wait, what?!" Sammy gasps, "She already asked you?"

"Y-Yeah," I stutter, surprised by her reaction, "I swear I mentioned that."

"No, you just said you were training in case you become her partner," Sammy argues, "You never said a thing about her already picking you, much less you agreeing to do so!"

"Well, I did . . ." I trail off, "But now, I don't know what's going to happen, considering how she and I are right now."

"Hmm, well, unfortunately I don't know what to tell you, I've never met her," Sammy replies, "Though from what I've heard you say about her, I can make two assessments."

"Which would be?" I ask.

She chuckles as she holds up a single index finger, "She's a handful."

I laugh, "Yeah, that's the truth."

Sammy smiles, before it slowly falls, and her entire expression becomes serious. She meets my stare, and holds up another finger as she states bluntly, "She wouldn't act this way without a logical reason. She's intelligent and to the point, so she wouldn't get mad about something unless she was presented with credible evidence to feel the way she does."

Her analysis leaves me unable to reply. I agree one hundred percent with what she's saying, but it still doesn't lead down any pathways that could have the answer to the question at hand. What is it that Maggie is upset about? And how does it connect with me?

What did I do?

"Isugoro."

Again, I'm pulled from my thoughts by an outside source, this time by Kasami, who stands in front of Sammy and I. Immediately, Sammy stands and salutes him, which Kasami responds to by smiling and making a slight wave gesture, a way to tell her her actions are unneeded. He then turns his attention to me, grinning. "Isugoro, I've been asked by the Commander to escort you to the auditorium," Kasami says.

Now my eyes widen, "What? Why?"

Kasami chuckles, "The Commander is holding an assembly to officially announce LAPIS, and as a main candidate to be her partner, he requested you to be prepared backstage in case you're necessary."

I'm speechless, which Kasami takes as me accepting the invitation. He holds his hand out to me, and without thinking, I take it, allowing him to help me up as I'm still in a confused state of mind. I turn to look back at Sammy, trying to find some type of explanation in her countenance. Though, all I find as I meet her gaze is one of similar confusion. Yet, it's not long before it changes to a warm and comforting stare, a smile rising on her cheeks although her brow is still furrowed some.

Don't worry about it, Kasami wouldn't put you into a bad situation. He cares about you too much.

Sammy's laughter dances through my mind, and calms me as I finally turn back, taking her word as truth as I grin to myself. Kasami notices my tension decreases, and pats me on the back. "Are you nervous, Son?" he asks.

"I suppose I am, Sir," I answer honestly, "I don't know what to expect."

"Ah yes, I can understand how that could make your nerves a bit tense," Kasami says, "That, and how things went in the simulator."

I pause, catching his attention, then he smiles bitterly. "I must say, that girl has changed a good deal since she left," he comments, "No doubt HERA has rubbed off on her, considering how she carried herself."

"Yeah . . ." I trail, "She's gotten stronger."

Kasami doesn't respond quickly, watching my face as we continue down the corridors. "Isugoro . . . you're worried about her, aren't you?" he asks.

The question catches me off guard, but somehow find a way to muster out an answer, "Y-Yeah, she's not acting normal. And from what I gathered, I don't think she plans on telling me outright any time soon what it is that's bothering her."

His brow furrows deeper, "That's strange, considering that you were the one she told everything to before. She really trusted you."

"Well I learned that that had been a mistake."

Maggie's words jump out of my memories, and I stop mid step. Kasami's eyes widen, looking at me perplexed as I simply stand frozen.

She blames me for something, but what could I have possibly done? I didn't even see her for half a year! We had no contact at all, so what could I have done between her leaving and now if I hadn't spoken to her?

Suddenly, something clicks in my mind.

I didn't have contact with her.

I don't know how I put it together, but something about the fact that she and I never spoke after she left seems to be a major factor. Like Kasami mentioned, I was the person Maggie talked to about everything, so for her to suddenly not have me around, it may have made her feel lonely, hell, maybe even abandoned. As I recollect, I realize I also never really tried to contact her either, I simply asked if there was news about her. That's it.

I sigh, and I rub my temple, "Oh, damn . . ."

Kasami, who's now standing a step or so ahead, blinks, confused. "What is it, Isugoro?"

"I think she's pissed that I never tried to contact her," I answer honestly.

Kasami's expression turns to shock, before he looks away, appearing to be thinking over my theory himself. "Hmm . . . that is a strong possibility," he says to himself, "But saying that, it's not like she ever tried to contact Gelus either. She, as a Class Zero, wouldn't of had an issue getting permission to communicate with us, even with HERA there. So, it appears the blame is two-sided if that is the case."

I nod, in agreement. With that, he gestures to me to have me start walking again, but now my mind is consumed to piecing together everything. Although my thought is a solid theory, I have a suspicion that there is another factor that hasn't been taking into account yet, one that I'm not aware of.

It's not long before I find myself rounding a corner into a darker hallway, my steps cautious as I follow Kasami closely so I don't get lost. I can hear the hum of many voices echoing from the other side of the wall, causing me to conclude that we're going the back way to enter the auditorium. As we walk farther, the hum becomes louder and less tame, meaning that more people must be entering the premises. I gulp as I realize the situation.

Maggie is being introduced to all of Gelus.

Without warning, Kasami puts of an arm, bringing me to a halt. He looks over his shoulder at me, surprising me as his golden eyes glow in the dimness. "We're going to watch from backstage, stay by me," he instructs.

"Alright," I whisper. With that, he turns forward and continues forward towards a door at the end of the hall. As quietly as possibly, he opens it, propping it open for me as I walk through to see a short flight of stairs on the other side. It's now that the hum is a full roar, causing my stomach to sink as it reminds me of the worst day I've experienced at Gelus.

Well, it would probably qualify as one of the worst days of my life.

Kasami passes me, gesturing to me to follow him up the way. We keep our steps muted as we carefully work our way up, and it's not long before I see the backstage area unfold before us. Standing around speaking softly are higher ups, a couple Jeweloids, and then stage crew, each too preoccupied with their own business to even acknowledge either of us. I look to Kasami, and he shrugs, his way of telling me not to be bothered by it. I sigh, and look around, before I make eye-contact with a familiar face.

Cent stands nearby, talking with a technician who seems to be having issues. Once he registers it's me, he gestures to another member of his crew to take care of the rest of the issue, then makes a bee line straight for me. "Hey, what are you doing back here?" he asks with a grin set on his face.

"Apparently the Commander wanted me back here on stand-by for something," I explain.

Cent's eye brows rise in surprise, "Whoa, head hancho asked for you? And this time you're not in trouble. Always a good sign I guess."

I chuckle, my tension fading as I continue the chat with him. It's good to know that even though we don't see each other that often, that I still can bump into my best friend from time to time. Kasami soon walks over, appearing happy to see that I've relaxed further.

"Ah, nice to see you Armasons, what brings you here?" Kasami asks.

"I was put in charge of the machines that make the holographics," Cent explains, "And apparently the one that displays the Gelus Crest is being difficult, so I was called up to look at it and keep an eye on it during the presentation."

"Always fun," I comment.

Cent laughs, "Yeah, I guess. Work is work. But, do you know what this is for? I wasn't made aware that this was even happening until this morning, and from what I heard, it was the same for everyone else."

I fall a bit, but Kasami replies for me, "It's to announce Maggie as the newest Class Zero, and officially introduce her as LAPIS."

Cent's expression falls just as mine did, and he looks over at me. "Have you talked to her?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, I haven't."

He watches me for a moment longer, then sighs. "Of course, nothing gold can stay," he mumbles to himself, before he speaks up, "I've gotta go watch the machines, they're about to start. Enjoy the show."

With that, Cent salutes Kasami, then gives me a friendly shove, grinning bittersweetly as he turns away and walks off. I watch him go, as does Kasami, before he turns his attention back to me. "I believe the one that's truly worried is Armasons," Kasami comments.

"Huh?" I say, looking over at him.

Kasami chuckles, "Son, it's easy to tell that he is concerned about you."

"I don't see why, there's really nothing wrong," I reply.

"That may be, but you have to remember that wanting the best for someone's well being and happiness is one of the main jobs that a best friend has," Kasami explains, "You two have know each other how long?"

"Since we were seven," I reply, "So about fourteen years."

"Ah . . . it's rare to have such a close companion for as long as that at your age," Kasami says, before he looks back to where Cent went, "You need to treasure that."

It's then that Kasami walks away, leaving me alone to look towards Cent, who's now turning off down an adjacent corridor. A lump forms in my throat as I process the words, sinking into my mind as I break my gaze and turn away, walking to stand by Kasami near the curtain. He looks at me for a moment, then turns away looking content, aware that I took his words to heart.

I look out at the auditorium, surprised that it looks much different to what it did the last time I stepped foot in here. The stage has been pushed back against the wall, allowing the floor space to be used to set up tables for visiting elite and special guests. The Jeweloids are sat in the far back and the higher balconies, as if no one wanted them to be easily seen by the Human superiors below, which makes me annoyed, but I keep it to myself. And, to my dismay, the detainees of the Detention Sector are not in attendance, which blew any opportunity I may see Mally, Eriks, or anyone else I befriended during my short sentence.

Suddenly, the lights go out, and the auditorium goes quiet, the fast hush rather odd for my ears to adjust to. Then, a light gradually rises on the middle of the stage, and it's not long before the Commander walks onto the stage from the opposing side. Upon his entrance, all the soldiers, including the Jeweloids, stand, and salute. The Commander doesn't acknowledge the action until he reaches the middle of the stage, which is when he returns a salute, followed by him lowering his arm to signal at ease.

After the orchestra of people sitting fades, the Commander begins to speak. "My fellow Gelus soldiers, as you are aware, our base is a very crucial military post, not only for our position protecting the northern east coast of Vesperia, but for our advanced technology and caliber of trained soldiers," he says, his low voice echoing through the silent atmosphere, "It was for these mentions attributes, combined with many other points, that Gelus was chosen over ten years ago to become the foundation of what we now know as the Jeweloid Sector. The discovery of these advanced beings has given Vesperia, and Orienus alike, an even greater weapon to use in our fight to extinguish the villainous Noxcus, and has brought us one step closer to winning this awful war."

An applause erupts throughout the crowd, though only a few Jeweloids participate. I can understand why, considering that they know, as well as I, that his words are empty compliments. He waits for the applause to end before he continues.

"Some may not be aware, but Jeweloids are not all the same. Not only do their abilities differ, but there are six rankings that a Jeweloid can fall under. Class Five is a very weak Jeweloid. Their powers are normally limited to simple attacks, and only have one added capability, if any. Class Four is similar, but can be qualified under more than a water base as their power type, not to mention they will have at least one capability, maybe two. Class Three is an average Jeweloid. They are qualified under one of the four element types, and can have up to four capabilities, some even being advanced in comparison to others," the Commander explains, "Class Two are Jeweloids that have more than two advanced capabilities, but normal element type powers. They're also normally quite good at combat. Class One are advanced in both capabilities and element type powers. They're normally great combatants and magnificent marksmen."

The Commander pauses, as whispers have begun to spread throughout the audience. He smirks, "I suppose you think I miscounted, as I only named off five rankings. But, there is another group, a very special one at that." The crowd goes quiet, prompting him to continue. "There are six known Jeweloids in this ranking. Their powers are not contained to the elements, and their capabilities are fives times as strong as that of a Class One. They are considered the leaders of the Jeweloid Sector; The Class Zeroes," he says.

It's now that figures suddenly appear behind the Commander, surprising everyone. My eyes widen as I recognize one among them; HERA. She stands right behind the Commander, appearing menacing as she glares down the audience. The other five with her appear just as intimidating in their own ways. The Commander steps over to the side a bit as he gestures to the one farest away from me. She is plump and short, standing maybe four and a half feet tall. Her long hair hangs straight, some pulled back to keep it out of her face, and appears to be a very pale green color, though moving ever so slightly, the hue seems to change to pale blue, then pale yellow. Her face is round, though refined and elegant, and her eyes are white, broken off from the whites of her eyes but a slim outline of pink, and her small pupil centered in the middle. Her gown and cloak are loose, camouflaging any imperfections in the soft white fabric which covers a majority of her cream toned skin. Her tattoos grace her cheeks and her shoulders, looking like abstract butterflies. As she steps forward, I catch the sight of a gem sitting still on her collar bone, kept in place by her breasts, while the rest of her seems to bounce ever so slightly.

"OPAL, the first of the Class Zeroes," the Commander says.

HERA is next to step forward, her power incredible as she poses beside the Commander, causing him to tense a bit. HERA wears a rather revealing gown, the tight copper fabric hugging close to her body, with a low neck line, an open back, as well as a long slit on the side revealing her mile long legs, and showing off a majority of her complex tattoos. The only thing covering up even an inch of skin is her rectangular pendant that's worn from a choker around her neck, a few rings on her index and middle fingers, as well as her normal piercings and gauges. Her golden hair is longer as well, but done up in an western Orienus inspired bun, her daggers of eyes framed by straight bangs.

"HERA, the leader of the Class Zeroes," the Commander comments.

Third is a male, on the opposing side of HERA. He is a few inches taller than her, roughly 6'5" - 6'7", and incredibly lean. He reminds me of a praymantis, his heavy set eyes, shorter gelled back hair, and three line tattoos a bright, but sickly looking green hue, with his long arms hanging awkwardly at his sides. His suit is black with dark green accents on the cuffs, belt, and collar, just making his inhuman features pop out even more.

"JADEITE, the wisest of the Class Zeroes."

Fourth and Fifth are the two closest to me, and are exact copies of each other. It's easy to tell that the male and female duo are twins, their heights, builds and facial features very similar, though appealing. Their hair is a light blue green, the man's short and spiky, while the woman's is long and wavy, hanging loose around her small frame. Their eyes match, though a slightly darker turquoise sits around the pupils. Their tattoos match to a T, the same geometric pattern going across their cheeks. Their clothes reflect each other, the man wearing a black and blue suit and blazer, while the woman wears a simple blue empire waisted dress with long sleeves and a sweet-heart neckline, beaded with reflective black rhinestones and small beads.

"GRANDI and DIERITE, the intelligence of the Class Zeroes," the Commander says, before turning his head, "And . . ."

Finally, the young woman between OPAL and JADEITE steps forward. She appears the most normal out of the group. She's average height, has short pale yellow bobbed hair, big bright yellow eyes with long black eyelashes, and unlike the others, her skin is a healthy tan complexion, not albino. Her tattoos are circles, reminding me of bubbles, cascading quite nicely down the outline of her softly squared jaw and her toned shoulders. Her dress is tight, but plain, a warm sun yellow with a white lace overlay. She smiles, the first of the group, and the space warms almost instantly. Even the Commander seems to sense it, grinning as he continues to speak, "JEREM, the caretaker of the Class Zeroes."

The room is still, and I can tell just by looking at Kasami that these guys are powerful. He's tense, hell, there's sweat beads forming on his forehead!

The Commander continues to speak, "As many of you have heard, within the last year, another Jeweloid has been discovered. Well, she has just returned to Gelus, and has been given the ranking of Class Zero. It is now that I give you the honor of being the first to see her."

Without warning, the air around me goes still. Kasami and everyone else around us seem to sense it, for a look of slight concern comes over everyone's face. I look over, my eye catching a flash of movement heading towards the center behind the curtain. Though, my attention turns back to the stage as I see the Class Zeroes stepping to the sides along with the Commander. Then, the curtain pulls up, revealing the main event.

Maggie.

I'm shocked when I see her. The majority of her now almost floor length dark blue curls hang loose around her, her bangs the same while some is pulled back around the top of her head to make a small accent bun. She wears a strapless multi-hue satiny mermaid gown with a four or five foot train, a low straight across neck line, and an open back hidden by her long hair. Her curly tattoos fall like water over her shoulders and farther down her arms than I had previous seen, and her dual color eyes are bright and intoxicating. She wears her normal hoop cartridge earrings, contrasting her bright yellow dew-drop earring, and gold arm bands. And, like all the other Jeweloids, an interesting looking gem that resembles her colors hangs from a choker around her neck.

She's . . .

"Isugoro, are you alright?"

I blink, unable to tear my eyes away from her as I reply to Kasami, "Y-Yeah, why?"

"Son, your face is beet red."

My eyes widen, and I put a hand to my face. My cheeks are burning hot, hell my whole face is hot! Holy crap, when did I start getting so flush?!

I hear Kasami chuckle, "She is a vision of beauty, it's easy to understand why'd you be blushing. Heck, I think every man who sees her is right now."

I finally break my gaze, and like Kasami said, every man that is looking at her is completely red in the face except Kasami. My eyes even find Cent on the opposite side of the stage from beyond the curtain, blushing like an idiot. The sight of all these men looking at her makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, to a point I'm starting to actually get irritated. Kasami seems to notice, and laughs to himself, before he leans close to me.

"All these men envy you right now, Boy," Kasami whispers, "Not only are you the first candidate to be her partner, but you've already stolen a kiss from her lips."

And I'm done. I am done. I can't tell if I just died or not, but I think my temperature just went from 98 degrees to 200 in less than half a second. Now I have the memory of us kissing in my head! That single kiss we shared while she was going crazy in the Power Processor during her insanity state, he just had to bring that up as she stands before me like this?!

Kasami grins, apparently amused by my inner turmoil, before he says simply, "Now I can see why so many compared her to a Goddess."

Despite my conscience screaming at me with all alarms on to just turn off, to look away, to stop thinking period, my inhibitions go hazy and I speak my honest opinion as I gaze at her once more, "She's always been the most beautiful being I've laid eyes on . . ."

I don't even break from my haze as Kasami jerks in shock, looking at me with his eyes bulging. Once he sees that I'm basically entranced, his brow furrows worriedly. "Oh dear . . . you're really not joking," Kasami mumbles.

When he asks me about this incident later, I won't remember it, but in the moment, I'm completely consumed. Maybe this is her power?

The Commander holds a hand out to her, which she takes gracefully, allowing him to lead her forward, ignoring him as he probes her with his eyes. But I don't, if anything the sight makes me even more irritated than before, but I keep it to myself.

"LAPIS . . . the youngest . . . and the most powerful of the Class Zeroes," the Commander announces.

The silent audience snaps into a roar of applause upon her introduction, while I stand in awe and shock.

She's . . . the most powerful?

I mean, I knew she was strong, and that she had the potential to be on the same level as the other six. But, she's stronger than all of them, even HERA?

"Amazing," I breath. Kasami nods in agreement.

It's now that I see others moving onto the stage. Each looks dignified and successful, their uniforms completely covered in medals and other symbols of accomplishments. There are five, standing beside each of the other Class Zeroes except HERA. I gulp.

They're their partners.

Without warning, I'm pulled back, and without anyone saying anything to me, I'm dragged to a nearby closest, I think, and am basically attacked by men with pieces of clothing. I don't really have any option to fight or anything, but I'm totally flabbergasted as they rip off my regular day uniform and dress me in a new and expensive dress uniform, my own symbols of accomplishment and a few extras displayed on the jacket. They then leave and in another wave, three women come in, and give me a forceful clean-up. My hair is trimmed and brushed out, my eyebrows tweesed (Which really hurts by the way. Why do girls do this?!) , hell they even five second whiten my teeth!

Then, just as suddenly as I'm taken, I'm pulled out of the closet and lead right back to where I was previously standing beside Kasami, who looks just as stunned as I feel. We say nothing, but exchange a glance, both of us flabbergasted.

Then, I'm caught off guard as I return to listening to the Commander. In the time I had been . . . groomed, he had introduced each of the Partners, and he now looked at Maggie.

"LAPIS has also decided that she will choose a Partner, though the candidacy process has already taken place. A single soldier who followed LAPIS from the moment she was discovered to the moment she left our facilities here at Gelus to do her Class Zero training in the Capital has been selected," the Commander explains, before he turns to look towards where I'm standing in the wings, lifting his arm and gesturing to me, "Please join us on stage."

Ok, I correct myself. Now I am done.

I know if I hesitate I'll become glued to where I stand, so I start forward, trying my best to look calm and composed. Maggie looks over at me, and for a moment, our eyes connect. Her's widen in slight surprise, and my mind begins to play tricks on me, as it appears that her cheeks actually start to become flush before she breaks eye contact. I stop and stand beside the Commander, saluting to him. He salutes back then drops his arm, followed by myself as I turn to face the audience. Thanks to the lights, I can't see out, but I can hear muttled whispers snaking through the rows beyond.

"First Rank Warrant Officer, and First Class Human Representative of the Jeweloid Sector, Isugoro Jintez," the Commander announces, saying both of my titles, "He has been training seven months with top Jeweloid trainers TOPAZ and SUGILITE to take on the honor of becoming LAPIS' Partner, and the two successfully completed a mission simulation together . . . and did it in the shortest time in history, cutting the previous time held by JEREM and her Partner Foult Gilsner in half."

It takes every ounce of my fiber not to looked shocked by that statement. The Commander grins, and looks to both of us, before he holds out a hand to each of us. Without thinking about, we both take the hand extended. "These two will now lead the way," he says.

With that, he puts my hand over Maggie's. I hold my breath, not wanting to lose my composure again as I brush her skin. It becomes harder though as he basically forces us to interlace our fingers, before he drops his hold, leaving me just holding Maggie's hand in front of literally all of Gelus.

Someone, please shoot me.

I don't dare look at Maggie, knowing the moment I do, I'll turn as red as a beet again. Though, in juxtaposition, holding her hand is . . . calming. Although considerably smaller than mine, her hand fits comfortably in my hold, and it feels almost natural to have her fingers interlocked with mine. Her skin is soft, and although her gaze was rather cold, her touch is warm. My breathing eases a good amount, and my hand slowly untenses, holding hers gently. She seems to change in a similar way, she starts rigid like me, but it's not long before she relaxes, even squeezing my hand slightly as if to back my courage.

No one would looking at us now would ever think that she kinda hates me right now.

"LAPIS and her prospected Partner, Isugoro Jintez!" the Commander shouts.

With that, the crowd roars, applause echoing louder than ever before.

Then, Maggie turns slightly towards me. Not knowing what's happening, I follow her lead. Then, I'm caught off guard.

You have to kiss her cheek or her hand. It is tradition for a new Partner to do so . . .

Are they trying to kill me?!

A voice which seems to match JEREM floats through my mind, and I immediately begin to panic inside. I have to kiss her?! Seriously?!

This is the only act of affection a human is allowed to show a Jeweloid.

Again, the voice sounds, but this time she sounds more saddened. I resolve myself under the voice, and I make my decision. Maggie looks perplexed, appearing to not understand what is to happen either. I grin slightly, and she blinks, looking more like the Maggie I know rather than this being that's trying to consume her; LAPIS. I unlace my fingers from hers, and in the most gentlemanly way I had been taught, I raise her hand gently, bend over slightly, and place a soft kiss to the back of her hand.

Whatever was holding the girls in audience back breaks, and I hear shrieks of amusement. I hide my confusion well, looking up slightly to see what has made them start howling. Though, my curiosity is side-lined as I set my eyes on Maggie. While I have remained surprisingly calm during this interaction, Maggie on the other hand . . . it seems her entire composure has shattered. As best as she can, she turns her face away from the audience, but standing in front of her, I'm shocked to see her cheeks turn red, redder than I've ever seen them actually. This is no trick of the eyes, she is full on blushing, and bad.

Instinctively, I take the hand I'm still holding and wrap her arm around my own, putting her on my left side so I'm closest to the audience. She seems to know what I've done and seems appreciative, hiding her face slightly in my sleeve. Her hold on me tightens as I watch her a moment longer, before I grin a bit to myself.

This is my Maggie. Although she's barely shining through, this single action is a sign that the girl I know is still around. She's just been buried under whatever pain and anger she's accumulated in our separation.

As the realization registers in my mind, I feel the uneasy fondation of our relationship solidify a bit. She's still here, so not all is lost in regaining her trust. Even though I've barely put together any theory of what might of happened between us, there's still a chance.

I just have to try.


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Sun Aug 30, 2015 10:37 pm
Deanie wrote a review...



Hi Serene!

Happy review day!

It is so about time that I get to reviewing all these lovely works you have been so kind to constantly notify me of even though all the time I have been slacking on my reviewing. So trust me, I am not review ANYTHING until I have all these chapters out of the way, no matter how long it takes! I am all yours. But to begin, I have to say that this was such a good chapter. You really did a good job of showing that although Maggie is different and someone who she wasn't before for whatever reason, her old self is still in there somewhere. You're toying a bit more with the romance between them as well and I love that because I SHIP IT so much! And on top of that, I loved reading how much Isugoro was thinking about this at the beginning and trying to puzzle out why she could feel that way too. It shows just how much he cares about her. I loved how in Gelus we got some more explanations as how to the classes work very clearly so there is no doubt in my mind there and even emphasises how special it is that Maggie is one of them, and the strongest of them all. I loved the descriptions you gave generally throughout the chapter as well, although I had an iffy moment with them (which I will mention later as well.)

Although everything was done so well, I did think the setting at the beginning was lacking. But you had it down to pat at the end. When he is in the arena with all the other people and Jeweloid's watching, you constantly mention them. You constantly mention the sounds they are making, their reactions as well as still centering everything on the main characters. But now even when they are in the beginning of this chapter I want that atmosphere there. When they are walking down the hallways on the way to Gelus Isugoro and Kasami have a brilliant conversation and well... everything fades away. The corridors seem empty because you don't mention them weaving their way through people trying to get there, or any conversations or anything. The hallways sound and seem empty to the reader, and unless you give a reason for them being so, I would assume they would be full with this whole meeting and announcement thing going on. Whenever you are writing about something else, drop a line or two about setting and the whole story just comes to life.

I did like seeing how much Isugoro was thinking over what was happening with Maggie because it really did make me feel like he cared about her. But I did think he was thinking about it a bit too much? The whole beginning of the chapter is basically his thoughts and conversations revolving around that issue and it gets a bit... much. Maybe add in a conversation there or a situation that has nothing to do with Maggie and that situation to break it up a bit in the chapter? Otherwise it's such a huge focus for so long the reader might get a bit tired of it.

During the show you described each and every Class Zero... in incredible detail. It was good and I have to say, descriptions of appearance are your strong point. But it was far too repetitive and I found myself glossing over the descriptions, which is definitely something you don't want your reader doing. I'm not sure if all of those Class Zero Jeweloid's are going to become main characters and relate to Isugoro's story. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. What I would do is only give a sentence or two to explain the appearance of each one instead, cutting it much shorter and leaving out the detail. Save the detail for Maggie's final appearance so the reader can be astounded by your beautiful language and make it seem like she is all the more beautiful. Then, when we meet the Class Zero's in person for the first time in the novel where they have significance (like becoming part of the plot), then when Isugoro seems them for the first time... then he can explain their appearance in detail. It will all get more spaced out, more attention from the reader and make the novel more interesting!

I have gone on about this all for a long enough time! I think we should call in for some nitpicks.

"Well I learned that that had been a mistake."


Comma needed after the word well. I generally found that in the first half of this chapter there were far too many sentences that started with well, so you need to cut down on the amount of those you have. It wouldn't even effect the sentence if you get rid of the word.

This sentence is a bit weird with the that that in the middle as well, especially if you are continuously repeating it because it is a main sentence. I know it has been said before but think about editing it the first time it is mentioned in whatever chapter that is. My suggestion would be to something like: Well, I learned that the past was a mistake.

Or something else, whatever you want that implies the same meaning. Right after you say that line for the first time in this chapter you continue with...

Thinking on that


The 'on' should really be about instead.

"No one, I'm just thinking out loud is all."


You would need a comma after loud in this sentence. Also, it would seem more natural for me to say that's all instead of is all, but that's up to you and nothing that you have to change.

The question catches me off guard, but somehow find a way to muster out an answer


You're missing the 'I' after somehow in that sentence.

Always a good sign I guess."


A comma is needed after the word 'sign'.

I fall a bit, but Kasami replies for me,


Reading this in context I know you mean he doesn't literally fall, but his expression and spirits fall a bit. So instead of 'I fall' it should be 'my expression and spirits fall a bit, but Kasami...'

"Amazing," I breath.


It should be 'breathe' instead of breath.

This was a pretty long review, but that was a long chapter! I shall keep reading, of course, because I love this fantasy-ish (can we call Jeweloid's that?) novel and well, it's good enough for it to be published. I would buy it. When is it getting published, actually? :)

Deanie x




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Sun Jun 28, 2015 4:44 pm
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kayfortnight wrote a review...



Hey, it's Kay here to review your chapter for review day and to get it out of the green room. I went back and read the previous chapter, but must admit I haven't read the previous novel so if I'm confused on some plot points, I'm sorry. I can definitely do a grammar/punctuation/word choice review, though.

I haven't seen Maggie since I walked away in the simulation hanger. Though, I have heard of her.
This would flow better either combined into one sentence or with the though taken out of the second sentence.

"What are you thinkin' about?" she asks as she sits herself down beside me, her southern dialect laced warmly through her words.
Tense agreement- laced should be lacing.

"Hmm, well, unfortunately I don't know what to tell you, I've never met her,"
Either replace this comma with a semicolon or perhaps a period.

Don't worry about it, Kasami wouldn't put you into a bad situation.
Italicize and it's a run-on, so same thing for the comma as the mention before.

I didn't have contact with her.
Aw... Poor both of them. From how their relationship sounds, that was a pretty major thing.

"Whoa, head hancho asked for you?
honcho

I don't see why, there's nothing really wrong
Comma splice/ run on like before.

"It was for these mentions attributes, combined with many other points, that Gelus was chosen over ten years ago to become the foundation of what we now know as the Jeweloid Sector.
mentioned not mentions

I can understand why, considering that they know, as well as I, that his words are empty compliments. He waits for the applause to end before he continues.
Take out the commas around as well as I. You don't need them.

Their powers are not contained to the elements, and their capabilities are fives times as strong as that of a Class One.
five times.

The Commander steps over to the side a bit as he gestures to the one farest away from me.
farthest

though moving ever so slightly, as the hue seems to change to pale blue, then pale yellow.


her eyes are white, broken off from the whites of her eyes but a slim outline of pink
by not but

[quote He reminds me of a praymantis, [/quote] praying mantis

tweesed (Which really hurts by the way. Why do girls do this?!) , hell they even five second whiten my teeth!
tweezed, and yes, it does hurt. Some of us think it makes us look pretty for some reason. Replace that comma with a period and format that last sentence.

Her's widen in slight surprise,
cut the apostrophe out

but I can hear muttled whispers snaking through the rows beyond.
Muttered or muffled. Muttled isn't a word.

Whatever was holding the girls in audience back breaks, and I hear shrieks of amusement.
the audience

As the realization registers in my mind, I feel the uneasy fondation of our relationship solidify a bit.
foundation.

I'll definitely be reading the first novel, if this is any clue as to how your work normally goes- this is really good. Keep on writing!






Yay! I'm glad you'll be looking at the first book!
Fair warning though, I started this series 3 years ago when I was 15, so it's gonna be pretty bad grammar wise until chapter 6 or 7 lol



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Wed Jun 24, 2015 2:52 am
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LittleFox wrote a review...



Ok, I'm super tired so this review may take awhile for me to write xD Anyway, here I am finally! Time to get review'n.

Something I like about your writing in general is that it is very consistent. Have I said that already? Maybe, I don't know, I'm sleepy. But your voice stays pretty similar throughout Lapis and Duet. Some young writers have that problem where one chapter is too poetic and then the next is too bland. All your chapters continue to achieve a nice balance. (I feel like I'm blabbering on too much already, haha.)

"...her southern dialect laced warmly through her words."
Just wanted to point out that I quite liked that little description. I'm a sucker for unique descriptions.

Anyway, I think you have really grown as a writer since that first chapter I read of Lapis. I feel like there is a greater sense of confidence in your writing, like you are in total control of your story, and that's awesome!

But bruh, you should totally draw the scene with all of theses new jeweloids being introduced. I wanna see it sooo dang bad! Do it pllleeaaasseee??

Alright so the final sum-up. I liked this chapter a lot and your writing is of very good quality. So please get the next chapter up soon :)

Anywho, t-t-t-that's all folks. I luv ya, keep writing!
-LittleFox




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Mon Jun 22, 2015 5:20 am
ChimeraMania says...



OMGOSH I LOVED IT. I didn't catch any mistakes. This seems just perfect. No it doesn't seem perfect, it is perfect, completely perfect.
Gosh, I don't have any other words. To me, it doesn't have any mistakes no need correcting. I kind of wish he has kissed her cheek, but I am happy he kissed her hand and she blushed. A lot. LOL. Both of them blushed, that was just perfect.
Gosh I could praise this in every way possible, but there's truly only one word to describe this. PERFECT.
I can see why it took so long, even if you were busy with other things, but it was worth the wait, always is. Can't wait for the next chapter.






Lol I was originally going to have him kiss her cheek, but after discussing the idea with a few people, it came about that it would of been out of character for him, considering that he refused a kiss to her cheek before (LAPIS Chpt 25 I believe). Also when I looked up the meaning of the kisses (because yeah, particular kisses have meanings) the cheek meant a crush or mutual feelings, whereas the hand meant respect and adoration.
I thought it fit better haha
Thanks!
~Maddie



ChimeraMania says...


Now that you described the meaning off the kisses. I feel like the Commander knew the meaning and he wanted to see which one Jin would have chosen. I feel if Jin had kissed Mags on the cheek then the Commander would try and keep a closer eye on their actions.





Who knows, I mean, he was given that prophesy and still has it in mind..



ChimeraMania says...


I know you can't tell me and I don't want you to because I don't want any spoilers, but to me, it seems like the Commander is....waiting. I don't mean to see if the prophesy is going to come true, but waiting to see what Jin does, see...his motives? I guess I can say that. But, even as he waits, Jin doesn't even know what his and Mag's future is going to be like. The Commander is waiting to see where Jin's loyalty lies, basically.





Yeah I get that
And btw you are literally the only person that calls Isugoro by Jin and I find it fantastic XD




Besides, if you want perfection, write a haiku. Anything longer is bound to have some passages that don't work as well as they might.
— Philip Pullman