The Four

by katiemay

Published July 14, 2011

Earth lives,
Fire roars,
Water runs,
Air soars.

The stars, the sun,
the moon, the sky.
All in harmony
side by side.

Comes and goes;
darkness, light.
Day by day
or night by night.

Flows with water,
breathes with air,
lives with earth
lights the flare.

Comments & reviews · 4
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katiemay Comment
katiemay commented Comment · Jul 15, 2011

Thanks you guys for the reviews and I understand what you are saying about that line....I had doubts about the line but otherwise this poem just came to me. :) Thanks again.

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Jessa
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Jessa wrote a review Review · Jul 14, 2011

Here to review!

This was a very unique poem, I have never seen a poem written about this topic (until today). Just one thing...

Flows with water,
breathes with air,
lives with earth
lights the flare.

I also had some difficulty with this line. Maybe you could change it to say 'breathes the air'? For some reason 'breathes the air' reads better to me than 'breathes with air'. Ultimately it is up to you though, since it is your poem!

Nicely done, keep writing!
-Jessa

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VuzzyCat
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VuzzyCat commented Comment · Jul 14, 2011

Really good! It flows smoothly, and I didn't see any grammer errors (other then the previous post). I like the idea and the imagery. The rhyme didn't seem forced, and you used great word choice. Good job! Loved it! Keep writing!

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ziggiefred
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ziggiefred wrote a review Review · Jul 14, 2011

Hello there :)
I'm not much of a poet, but I thought I should say something.
I really find your approach very creative! I was smiling as I went through your poem. I liked and appreciated the consistent flow that you kept, it helped.

Flows with water,
breathes with air,
lives with earth
lights the flare.
I just found the part in bold, a little offish. "Breathes with air"? I don't know, that's just me.

Good job, keep writing and good luck!



Remember: no stress allowed. Have fun, and learn from your fellow writers - that's what storybooks are all about.
— Wolfi