Published July 14, 2011
Earth lives,
Fire roars,
Water runs,
Air soars.
The stars, the sun,
the moon, the sky.
All in harmony
side by side.
Comes and goes;
darkness, light.
Day by day
or night by night.
Flows with water,
breathes with air,
lives with earth
lights the flare.
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Thanks you guys for the reviews and I understand what you are saying about that line....I had doubts about the line but otherwise this poem just came to me.
Thanks again.
Here to review!
This was a very unique poem, I have never seen a poem written about this topic (until today). Just one thing...
I also had some difficulty with this line. Maybe you could change it to say 'breathes the air'? For some reason 'breathes the air' reads better to me than 'breathes with air'. Ultimately it is up to you though, since it is your poem!
Nicely done, keep writing!
-Jessa
Really good! It flows smoothly, and I didn't see any grammer errors (other then the previous post). I like the idea and the imagery. The rhyme didn't seem forced, and you used great word choice. Good job! Loved it! Keep writing!
Hello there
I just found the part in bold, a little offish. "Breathes with air"? I don't know, that's just me.I'm not much of a poet, but I thought I should say something.
I really find your approach very creative! I was smiling as I went through your poem. I liked and appreciated the consistent flow that you kept, it helped.
Good job, keep writing and good luck!