HAHA. Okay. This is my first shot in song writing. Well, this is my first time publishing it, anyway. This is actually acoustic. I just found this amongst my trash and scratches, and I decided to post it here. (No, not in the trash can. XD) Maybe I'd post a video of me singing this. HAHA.
Fighting back my tears
I sit still listening
wondering if I'd get eaten by my fears
Clutching the phone with my hand
always repeating I'm totally fine
when she tells me you'd both go watch that band
chorus:
She said, and you said
you're in love with each other
But hey, I think that's not so cool
Stop falling for my best friend.
I thought you could be mine
but I guess I was just assuming that
you'd fall for me in time
My heart tears apart
when you two hold hands
as you say you've got one heart
(chorus)
bridge:
Why aren't I glad
when I should be
I can't help feeling bad
when I realize we won't be
(chorus)
coda:
I fake a smile
hoping no one would notice
hoping everything would subside
but still dreaming within
that you had never fell for my best friend.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Nice piece.. it was a bit simplistic for me, but that's not always a bad thing. The emotions were very real, and I'm sure it would sound great set to music. Well done. c:
So I thought these lyrcis we're really great, and you should never ever throw things out!!! The only nitpicky grammar comment I have is the last line instead of "fell" it should read "fallen". Otherwise, I love the emotion that's reaped through the lyrics, more visceral details would be nice if it was a poem, but it's a song so it's fine. Keep up the good writing, and I look forward to reading your other pieces (I think you have a similar style to me
)!
This is pretty good. I'm sure it would be twice as good if you put it to music. It reminds me a bit like cheatercheaterbestfriendeater by nevershoutnever. And that's a compliment from me because I'm another girl obsessed with Christofer Drew.
Wow, this is good. It would be nice to avtually hear the beat and everything, but the lyrics are nice, realiztic, and very relatable. And I liked the part about the holding hands, I know how that feels to see someone you like holding hands with someone else, and it doesn't feel so good. I know it's just a peice you found in the "trash", but if you maybe made it a little longer (like I said, I'm not sure how the music goes, so I don't know how long it is) I think it would be a great song. The only problem would be the cliche part, you have to admit how cliche this is. But that didn't stop Taylor Swift with her song "You Belong With Me", and that didn't stop people from listening to it. Keep writing your songs, this one's great.
-iheartbooks♥