E - Everyone

I wonder sometime…

by kaif
  • July 31, 2014
  • Poetry
  • Satire
  • poem
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I've a mind I've a soul

More or less equal to all

I thought this morning looking out of pane,

Why ethics and morals are not always same.

Hurry to condemn ready to blame,

all in name of Almighty without a shame.

Saints becoming Satan,

and phony in every humane.

But still I say,

I've a mind I've a soul,

I can see clearly it’s a foul.

You can see through these eyes,

the pain its hiding deep inside.

You ignore them; want them out of your sight,

merely a look would make you feel plight.

So obsessed with scenario, we just decide,

what is wrong and what is right.

And here I say,

I've a mind I've a soul,

I've MY vision which can never be stole.

Bright enough to enlighten a shrine,

Dark enough to futile a divine.

I am man with freewill;

To tell apart the good and the evil.

I assimilate, I accept, I ponder, I wonder,

To dive down with flock,

Or to drove against the odd.

Because I know,

I’ve a mind I’ve a soul;

I am my grief, I am console.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
FearlessLove4
Review
FearlessLove4 wrote a review · Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:06 pm

Wow, this is great.

I really don't have anything "bad" to say. I love the way this is written. There is so much depth to this piece. This piece is so well written that the reader is always attentive. This poem definitely caused me to think differently that I usually do, and I really liked that. It starts off almost story like and that's what grabbed my attention. Your voice was strong throughout the piece, which is fantastic and not an easy thing to do!

I can't wait to see more of your writing!

~FearlessLove4


kaif
kaif replied · Wed Aug 06, 2014 2:54 am

thanks.. :)

User avatar
AlyYantz
Review
AlyYantz wrote a review · Fri Aug 01, 2014 12:51 am

I thought that this was very deep and so well written, it makes me believe this is how you truly feel.

I've a mind I've a soul


I really like how this line is repeated, making up different sections that flow smoothly together.

I thought this morning looking out of pane, Why ethics and morals are not always same. Hurry to condemn ready to blame, all in name of Almighty without a shame.
Saints becoming Satan, and phony in every humane. But still I say, I've a mind I've a soul [/qutoe]

I will say I did get a little confused here. You talk about yourself, then talk about others, and then about yourself again, and the jumping around makes the connection unclear. I may just be blind, but that's how I felt, and when confusion like this happens at the beginning of a work, it can make the rest of the reading difficult.

Bright enough to enlighten a shrine, Dark enough to futile a divine.


I thought these two lines where beautifully written and how you worked with a "ying-yang" if you know what I mean (working with opposites.)

I really enjoyed reading this! You did really well, in my opinion. Thank you for dealing with my crap. XD


kaif
kaif replied · Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:40 am

thank you!! thanks for reading and your opinion :)



He who knows only his own generation remains forever a child.
— Cicero