Young Writers Society

Hi, kaializzy

I read your story because I know a lot of people who play piano. I don't play myself (I do violin), but I'm really glad I got to read your story. It has a really nice flow, and it made me feel kind of nostalgic. It is supernatural, but believable. Just a couple of small word suggestions, I guess. For 'he got more and more interested in it,' maybe replace the word 'got' something else, like 'grew,' 'became.' Also with 'He found the piano in the exact same spot', may choose another word for 'spot'? Aside from that, nothing really, this story was great. I'm taking guesses in my head as to what is going on in this guy's life aside from this piano while I'm typing. Thanks for sharing!

Loved it! One question: First you say that the piano was missing a leg, and then you say it only has one. Does it have a blocky leglike thing in the back like some pianos I've seen? Otherwise, I liked the fact that, when he comes back, the leg is fixed and there's a chair. Who did this? Very mysterious. Also the fact that it may give other wishes. I give it 3 stars out of 5. Now for another brief topic: Do you trust Big Brother? I mean, seriously? We all need to be careful. By my calculations the guy is at least 24. What's his motive? Are we all in the middle of some big plot?

Hey kaializzy! Cool story! I like your concept--there's something almost Shel Silverstein-esque about the man and the piano--it reminds me of The Giving Tree for some reason! Still, I definitely love the whimsical feel of the story--it reminds me of a sort of horror-type tale, but not in a terrifying way--you know, a nice ghost!
Still, you do need a little bit of work. For example, some of your phrases are a little bit awkward. "and with every step, he got more and more interested in it." The writing here, as in some other areas, is just a little bit awkward. "got", for example, might be better written as "grew". It's little things like that that cause trouble with the pacing of your story, taking away the tension. I think in areas like that, you need a little bit of work. Otherwise, however, this is a good story, with a neat and creative idea behind it. Good luck with future writing!

Howdy there partner and happy review day. Hate to waste too many words so let's just take this from the top.

While out hunting, a man found an old, broken down piano. Although it was missing a leg, it still stood upright. But something was off about the piano.

It gave off a spooky aura that scared the man. He walked towards the piano, and with every step, he got more and more interested in it. He reached the out and touched one of the keys gently. The sound rang softly through the woods.

He didn't know what it was about the piano, but something was different and unique. It could've been the soft ring of the keys, the way it rang out through the silent woods, or even the way it only had one leg. He found it surprising that the piano was still tuned, and that it still had all of the keys, as if it was waiting for someone to play it.

His hands lingered over the keys, eager to play. As if someone gave him a signal, he started to play a fast, jittery tune. As he played, his face was filled with excitement. Then, the tune got slower and slower, until suddenly, he stopped playing, and looked around again. Then, he walked away.....

About a year later, the man returned. He found the piano in the exact same spot, but it was different. The broken leg was fixed, and there was a chair, as if it wanted him to sit down and play. He set down his gun, and sat down. Then he played the same old tune as he played last year. But this year, it was different. It was a softer tone, smoother even. He played the song twice, then picked up his gun and walked away. Every year, the man returned to the piano and played the same song. Then he suddenly stopped coming....

Ten years later, the man returned once again, wanting to play the piano once more before he died. He played the tune he had played so long ago. Playing the song brought back memories, and that made him think, " Do I really have to part with this piano?" Then he thought, "why not stay here with this old piano until my death came?" So he did. When it did come, he was sitting there, playing the same old tune, on his beloved piano.

The ghost of that man is still there, sitting on the chair of his beloved piano. And on some nights, you can hear the quiet tune he played, so long ago... He got his wish, but will you get yours?

Hey, kaializzy! Storm here for a review this fine Review Day, so let's jump right into it!

Although it was missing a leg, it still stood upright.

He walked towards the piano, and with every step, he got more and more interested in it.

Then, he walked away.....

Then he played the same old tune as he played last year. But this year, it was different.

Then he suddenly stopped coming....

Ten years later, the man returned once again, wanting to play the piano once more before he died.

Playing the song brought back memories, and that made him think, " Do I really have to part with this piano?" Then he thought, "why not stay here with this old piano until my death came?"

He got his wish, but will you get yours?

Hello! Feltrix here for a review!

I. First off, in the first paragraph, things are a little abrupt, but I think that's okay for the most part. Still, you might want to elaborate on certain parts and split it into several paragraphs. A lot happens there.

II.

It gave off a spooky aura that scared the man.

Then, he walked away.....