What is a ring, but a round, metal thing?
What is a dove, but a beauteous bird?
What is a choir, but groups of lips that sing?
What is a vow, but simple spoken words?
What, then, is a wedding, than a mere crowd
Witnessing one man, who has been robed swell
Take the hand of a woman in a shroud
For what well-wishers doth wish to last well?
Pardon me, for from these you are beyond
For these shan't be forever like thou art
Hence, take that which lasts after thou hast gone
And when, from this earth, I, too, must depart
Thus, with simple words of three, I wed thee
"I love thee." I say, once more, "I love thee."
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Why, fancy seeing a sonnet here! I must review!
I love sonnets, and traditional Victorian English (commonly know as Shakespearean English). I want to put it out there! A sonnet is a special format but it doesn't necessarily have to be written in Victorian English. I do love Victorian English, but you said this was for a higher level assignment and I thought I'd say that for future reference.
I loved your sonnet, the theme of marriage was
Interesting to explore, and you should have done that. Explore what you write and give a fresh perspective. That is the job of the poet.
Now your last two lines seemed sort of forced. I hope you don't take offence to me rewriting, but I think it would have sounded better as;
And with three simple words I wed thee
The last line is okay. I'm sorry I can't provide an alternative.
So I'm done nit-picking. I did love your poem, and I hope you consider my advice. Also should you post any more sonnets, don't be afraid to call on me for a review.
thaaanks! i've written an old one. you might want to see it.
Helllloooo, Leo here to review...Nice sonnet in the shakespearean format...Nice use of words, giving and old touch to it by using old words...I see...That's good:-)
I like the opening lines of your sonnet...It questions the sanctity and importance((for me specially) of things that are just put up as an event to please others...If two people twined into a bond of love doesn't even have "feelings" for each other then what is love???? all these events a materialistic aspect added to the essence of love....
I just have a trouble with one word that topples the entire sonnet of yours upside-down...The use of the word "shroud" .....it is a piece of cloth in which the dead are wrapped...are you connecting death with love???? The whole sonnet suddenly for me has a dark background to it....or if it is just a word you put to rhyme with crowd (forcefully put) then do change it please...
I specially like the last two lines, the ending couplet of the sonnet...
"Thus, with simple words of three, I wed thee
"I love thee." I say, once more, "I love thee."
Simple words of three, but the building blocks of love..the very soul of love...just the rhyming can be worked upon...you can write it in this way as well,
"Thus, I wed thee, with simple words of three"
and the last line, it seems a bit forceful although it is good and sums up the the very essence of true love...You can think of a different line...just a suggestion:-)
Thank you
thanks for this helpful review!
i meant for "i love thee" to be repeated because, to me, saying it once is simply never enough. you might not ever be able to say it again.
i used shroud because, not only does it rhyme with crowd, but because, at its very core, shroud simply refers to a cloth that PROTECTS something, not just a dead dude's face.
I like your blur for this poem it's funny. But besides that this is a great poem. At first I thought you were having some conflict with marriage and now I realize your outlook on it is romantic, but the first few lines were a bit pessimistic. By the way isn't the correct term "I Do" or does "I Love Thee" just sound better/ fits?
I used "I love thee", why? Because, in my heart and mind, I already got married to my girl when we exchanged those words for the first time.
No need for the stuff mentioned in the first 8 lines 
Spoken like a true poet.
Wow, you need to go pro because this is expert stuff.
I legitimately have no criticism for this piece. I can only say I worship you for your poetic prowess.
aww thanks for the positive response! but im far from expert haha
"What is a choir, but groups of lips that sing?"
"What, then, is a wedding, than a mere crowd"
"For what well-wishers doth wish to last well?"
"Thus, with simple words of three, I wed thee
"I love thee." I say, once more, "I love thee.""
These above are my favorite lines. It is truly a fantastic poem, which makes it so hard to review because I have no criticism or suggestions, it was just great. I love the way you broke down all the symbols society uses to represent love and weddings like the ring and dove and all that jazz. People don't really think about "oh yeah, birds have nothing to do with how much I love my girlfriend and they're actually really annoying." But you stripped all the crap and made it about love so I like that a lot. I just liked it a lot is all