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Empty

by justbecause05


I have nothing. 

You took it all from me. I've lost my house, since I can't go in without this memories that I've tried so hard to forget assaulting my mind. I've lost my childhood, there's too many memories that make me think it's not worth it to keep breathing. I've lost my sense of security, and now I don't trust anyone, fearing they want to do what you did to me. I've lost my body that, after feeling your hands roaming over it without mercy, doesn't belong to me anymore. I've lost my voice, every time you shut me up with your promises, telling me everything was fine and the hurting would stop. I've lost my self love, I don't think I'm worthy of love anymore. And I lost the glow in my eyes, because you took all the reasons they had to glow. I feel dirty. You took from me all the things that were supposed to be mine. And I don't think I can have them back.

I have nothing.


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177 Reviews


Points: 17033
Reviews: 177

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Sun Mar 14, 2021 2:35 pm
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi justbecause05,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

A very strong text with a serious subject matter. In the beginning, I thought it was a poem and you could certainly adapt it that way.

What I really like is that the story is told from the first-person narrator's point of view, which gives it a much greater impact. Fittingly, you use anaphora very well. With each new sentence, it adds to the drama.

I could probably comment on every single sentence and why your examples seem so authentic and good. So I'll keep it short here.

I've lost my childhood, there's too many memories that make me think it's not worth it to keep breathing.


A very expressive description that deals with the conflict of the person who was sexually abused. This vulnerability that these people have now is so much that they distrust everyone, as you have also described well here.

I've lost my sense of security, and now I don't trust anyone, fearing they want to do what you did to me.


The following sentence gave me a cold shiver when I read it.

I've lost my body that, after feeling your hands roaming over it without mercy, doesn't belong to me anymore.


I feel dirty.


It's only three words, but it's enough, to sum up the text. Even the repetition of the beginning and end seems like a silent cry from someone who is not being heard. I don't know if it was intentional to put the beginning and end in their own paragraphs, but it makes the main text seem much more extreme. I'll try to describe it like this: it seems like an accordion that you pull apart and only one note comes out - this middle text, but at the same time it goes back together and this cry disappears again under all the voices in this world. (I hope that is somehow understandable. :D)

You have an excellent way of maintaining the drama and seriousness and conjure an extraordinary description out of this simply kept text.

Mailice.




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96 Reviews


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Sun Mar 14, 2021 12:00 pm
stygianmoon17 wrote a review...



Hey there, hope you're having a great day/night/evening/afternoon/..

Wow this is just.. mind blowing. There's such a flow of emotions, it starts off controlled and secured, then floods us until the end. There's so much pain in each of your words. The voice you used, with the "You did this" "you did that" makes everything so much more powerful, so much more accusative.
"And I lost the glow in my eyes, because you took all the reasons they had to glow." this here, this imagery has so much strength behind it I was teary-eyed when I read this. Truly, you have a great writing style to pass emotions through words. Which is basically what writing is all about.

I hope this isn't biographical. I hope this never happened to you and never will. It truly sounds horrific. So much people look pass how rape makes you feel.. how it breaks you.. it's more than just physical pain. Not that I know anything about how it makes you feel, as I've never been in that situation. I just hope you didn't have to go through all of this <3




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Sun Mar 14, 2021 11:21 am
InJung15 wrote a review...



Hey, welcome to YWS! Wow this writing truly blew my mind! You have used various emotive and descriptive language which really emphasizes that idea of emptiness the persona is feeling within them. I also loved your use of sentence structure, saying all those impactful statements regarding sexual abuse and following up with one small yet powerful statement at the end, "I have nothing". This really keeps the audience on the edge of their seat! Amazing job, well done!

Furthermore your voice is really strong, by using such inclusive language such as "YOU took it all from me" or "YOU took all the reasons they had to glow.." makes it seem as if the author is speaking directly in front of us, which really makes this writing truly a masterpiece.

Overall it was very powerful and entertaining to read, thanks for sharing and giving a voice to those that most need it! Keep up the brilliant work!





Of those who say nothing, few are silent.
— Thomas Neill