Published March 5, 2011
I was wondering if this would be a good prologue for a book???
Hot breath on the base of my neck sent shivers through every nerve.
Life seemed to have stopped.
My life would have never ended this way, but Katrinia loves the meddle with things she shouldn't.
It started weeks ago.
Tell me what you think.
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Most prologues are boring and unnecessary. The reader finds him or herself wishing that the author would quit messing around and get to the story already.
Not to sound rude but this one's no different. If you're going to start a story with something this short you might as well just use a poem or something. That being said, this, as it stands right now, would not make a very good poem either. It's too vague, lacks imagery, and it alludes to the same angsty teenage drama that's flooding the literary market right now. In other words it's cliche.
My advice: don't worry about the prologue, most contemporary books don't need them anyway. Or if you simply must have a prologue, write it after you've already written the rest of your story.
Hello!
I'm just going to start with just little nitpicks I found:
Also, I found the repetition of the word 'life' seemed a bit off; perhaps try rewording?
Okay, so onto the review. This prologue is very short which isn't usually a problem unless you'd make it effective and that is what you've done nicely. I am quite interested in who Katrina is, what she did and what the story has to offer, but the thing is, I've read so many stories that start off with similar openings of the narrator promising to tell the tale of their ruined lives, making it become a bit cliché and unoriginal. To me, it sort of turns me away from reading a story, regardless of how effective that particular opening would be. Perhaps you could find another way of foreshadowing the story's events? Or scrap the prologue all together? I would choose the latter, though it's up to you. All in all, it's not a bad prologue. But keep writing and post the rest of the story to see if it lives up to what you've written so far has to offer!
Good luck!
Thien
It's too short to give a good review on this. The first three sentences pulled me in. The visual was good, but you could extend that. The fourth however pulled me far away. You need to expand on this so that someone can give a good review to this. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but that's just my opinion. And get rid of the fourth sentence! It's an "evil" sentence! If you want to start a chapter, put 4 Weeks Before! Yeesh, it bugs me.