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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me

by johnrosco321


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Act 1

Scene 1

King Lear's palace

Enter Mike, Sully, and Randall

Mike

I thought the king had more affected the Duke of Albany than Cornwall.

Sully

It did always seem so to us; but now, in the division of the kingdom, it appears not which of the dukes he values most; for equalities are so weighed that curiosity in neither can make choice of either's moiety.

Mike

Is not this your son, my lord?

Sully

His breeding, sir, hath been at my charge: I have so often blushed to acknowledge him, that now I am brazenedd to it. 

Mike 

I cannot conceive you. 

Sully 

Sir, this young fellow's mother could; whereupon she grew round-womb'd, and had indeed, sir, a son for her cradle ere she had a husband for her bed. Do you smell a fault?

Mike

I cannot wish the fault undone, the issue of it being so proper.

Sully

But I have a son, sir, by order, some year elder than this, who yet is no dearer in my account: though this knave came something saucily to the world before he was sent for, yet was his mother fair; there was good sport at his making, and the whoreson must be acknowledged. Do you know this noble gentlemen, Edmund?

Randall

No, my lord.

Sully

My lord of Mike: remember him hereafter as my honourable friend.

Randall

My services to your lordship.

Mike 

I must love you, and sue to know you better.

Randall

Sir, I shall study deserving.

Sully

He hath been out nine years, and away he shall again. The king is coming.

End.

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459 Reviews

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Mon Aug 20, 2018 5:22 pm
Poor Imp wrote a review...



Hullo John--

What struck me first was that it would be rib-crackingly good fun to see Sully and Mike try to take on King Lear. The set-up provides great opportunity for spoofing humor. Just imagining the two saying the lines was somewhat funny in itself.

Erm. As it is though, the piece really only subs in Mike & Sully's names for Shakespeare's characters. This doesn't take advantage of the likely mix-ups the two monsters would have with the lines, or the way their characters would play in Lear. It would have been brilliant to have stage direction in this, and/or narrative interjection. With a few well-placed paranthetical remarks about the action, you could get some wicked mileage out of physical humor too!

Rather neat idea altogether, and a great foundation for something hilarious. I'd love to see you capitalize on it more.


Toodles,

IMP




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415 Reviews

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Tue Aug 07, 2018 5:54 am
Eros wrote a review...



Hey there, johnrosco321 !!!

This is Eros here with a review for you !!

I loved the peice of play ... dramatic play. It was amazing and since I know the characters, it was fun to imagine it all. It was a creative piece of drama ..act or play ...whatever.

However, I would like to suggest, it could have been more interesting if there was description of the King... This character was new to me and I couldn't imagine him. Like, was he a human king? Or a king from the same monster world? Was he polite, rude, and also there was no dialogue given to the King, which makes him and his character not well known to us, the readers.

Rest, I loved the presentation and the way you have described the things. The dialogues were superb.

Another suggestions for improvement, please add more of the background... I mean the plot and the setting like, the King Lear's palace... How is it? Describe it openly...

Rest, it was a superb work.

I also used to get suggestions of improvement and we learn from our faults. It wasn't meant to be offensive...

Keep writing such awesome stuff and we would love to keep reading them and reviewing them !!

Have a great day / night !
With love,
From Eros.
:D




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Sat Aug 04, 2018 5:56 am
johnrosco321 says...



kool





u can't have villains exist just 2 b villains
— ShadowVyper