Young Writers Society

Hello! I'm here to review your story!

WHAT WAS GOOD
First, I love how you put so much meaning into just three paragraphs. I caught many things from this short story:
1. Childhood best friends who love each other very much.
2. Affection for each other's families
3. Enjoy causing mischief together
4. Being laughed at together
5. Annoying family together, especially siblings
That made me think about my own best friend, which leads me to:

Second, I liked how your story had few enough details that it could make me think about my own best friend. I liked that you wrote just enough details to say "here are these friends in particular" but not so clear it doesn't allow our memories into the story.

Third, you put humor into the story. It's humorous and affectionate at the same time. Again, just how I think about my best friend. I love how you've truly shown the affection between the two best friends.

Fourth, I like the story of the one friend losing his mole. Everyone else now thinks he's unattractive without the mole and they don't like it. But his true friend, the main character, sticks with him. That seems to symbolize how people can tell their friends something about themself and sometimes their friends with leave, but the one who stays in the one who matters. That's this main character.

Fifth, I like the definition of beat friend at the end. That adds a nice touch to such a short, sweet story.

WHAT COULD BE BETTER
The one thing I did keep noticing throughout this story is the grammar. Here are the specifics:
1. The "Just him and I" should be changed to "Just he and I", as he is part of the subject of the sentence.
2. In the last sentence of the first paragraph you wrote, "we tease his puppy, Luna because". There should be a comma after Luna if there's a comma after puppy, or there shouldn't be a comma after puppy because there's not a comma after Luna. Either would work.
3. In the second paragraph, "We are the one" should be changed to "We are the ones", because "one" refers to "we", and we refers to multiple people.

OVERALL
Overall, this was a cute short story. I would just correct the grammar, and then it'd be perfect!

Keep writing!

- Echo

This is a really cute short story! I like how they stay friends even after one of them lost their mole. The one true friend stayed with him. I feel like him losing his mole symbolizes how they have become such good friends that they are now identical. Once friends, always friends, no matter what, they’ll both see it through.

I enjoyed reading this little story. I wish you a fantastic day/night!

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Back on another one of your stories and it seems once again we have ourselves a really wholesome little gem here. Your stories are always so simple but so wholesome and honestly I adore the concepts that you manage to touch upon with that simple little goal.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Just him and I bickering all the time to annoy our siblings since childhood. He's my best friend in crime and prankster of the two of us. We tease my sister because she has a crush on guys in school. We tease our moms because they hate bugs. We tease his puppy, Luna because she keeps biting her tail.

But one day, he told me he lost his mole on his cheek. He said he's a dancer and one time he danced so much, that he looked at the mirror and it was gone. Sadly, all the people in school thought he was really handsome and attractive with his mole. Now, we're called equals or twins. None of us have moles and are the tallest in the school. We are the one that bicker and bicker about people that makes us laugh at the back of class.

I just love him so much. Childhood besties forever!