This I made during the lowest points of my graduation year, spur of emotion when I had news that my prom date had abandoned me. At the time I was devastated, alas she came back to me for prom and I was happy. But I thought I'd share this little poem for you all to enjoy.
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I stand aloof atop the keep
Though my heart is torn in two
Over this ledge I should leap
unto the ground where my dreams grew.
As I would plummet I would reminise
How we would share a lovers kiss
The candles flame was the spark in my heart
Now, a void as the absence of bliis
My treasury of gold is as good as dirt
My wealth and vice cannot compare
The love for you was priceless in worth
The pain that resides is too much to bear
What is a king without his queen?
Like death within life as though it may seem
Alone upon my throne my bones chill cold
Without your love the stars will not gleam
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Now that's morbid... and romantic?
Viv here, how's it going?
I only see one mistake to point out and it's "bliis" instead of "bliss". But doubles like that confuse me too so... It's a good poem, though almost suicidal, but still. It touched into philosophy at the end.
"What is a king without his queen?
Like death within life as though it may seem"
It's a nice, emotional poem, but why'd you call it "The Loneliness of Royalty"?(sounds conceited)
Thank you for your kind words.
I called this one "The Loneliness of Royalty" because I was named Prom King at the beginning of the year.
Lucky you
This was a good poem but had the potential to be great. Maybe it was me but I couldn't help but feel that the tone and beat of the poem were off the rhyming. Don't get me wrong the rhyming was fantastic but it seemed like it did not line up. Maybe it's me though, It's probably read a different way in your head that makes it found much better. But as for the generality of the poem itself i loved it. It kind of had a senses fail yup essence about it (amazing band by the way). I am sorry though for the pain you had to go through for the poem to be generated but isn't that where most writers get their push. Besides from the unbalanced rhyming scheme(again this is probably personal for me) the poem is great. Keep writing
Hey, this is really great, I like how you poured your emotions into this, it makes the reader connect to it more, knowing you wrote it from your heart. I think that you used wonderful re fences similes and metaphors to really grasp the idea of what you want your readers to feel. I'm pretty sure you pretty much nailed it to a tee, I felt as if I was in your position, facing a time where total darkness engulfed me, and I didn't know what would happen next. It was a lovely read, and I encourage you to keep writing because you seem to be very good at it. Thanks for sharing this lovely poem and keep writing
-8)
Thank you very much, I attempt to put as much reflection into my works as I can.