z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Search For The Diamond Of The Deep Book 1 Chapter 5

by FlamingPhoenix


Chapter 5

It was early in the morning and the copper sun was rising slowly in the dark starry night sky. Little strikes of yellow, orange and red slice across the dark sky. As the sun rises higher in the sky the stars start to disappear. Light blue covers the sky and white clouds were nowhere to be seen. As the sun gets higher in the blue sky, its light slowly made its way into the dark cave where Diamond, Smoke, Scorch and the new dragonet they got yesterday Scarlet are sleeping. The warmth of the sun slowly wakes up the sleeping dragons.



Diamond was the first to get up and walked outside. She walked over to the edge of the cliff and sat on the cold stone floor staring out into the distance. Smoke was the second to get up. He saw Diamond sitting outside and walked up to her.



“Are you okay Diamond?” asked Smoke with worry in his black eyes.



“Oh hi Smoke. Nothing's wrong, it’s just that I haven’t been to the sea for at least forty five years, and I am so worried that I won’t fit in anymore,” replied Diamond, shaking of the thought of not fitting in with the other sea wings anymore.



“Oh that's bad, but you are going back today, so don’t worry I am sure you will be fine!" Smoke said looking at Diamond with a smile.



“Uh easy for you to say Night wing,” Diamond said with a snort of disbelieve in her voice.



“Why is that supposed to mean?” asked Smoke with an even bigger smile.



“Well you are one of the smartest Night wings on your island!! Aren't you? Diamond said ,smiling back at him.



“Yes, yes I am!" exclaimed Smoke sitting even closer to Diamond.



Back in the cave, Scorch and Scarlet were still sleeping. The rising sun slowly warmed up the dragon’s cold cave. The heat of the sun slowly woke up Scorch from his beauty sleep. He gently got up, trying not to wake up Scarlet. He walked outside to join the other two in the sun.



“Morning guys!” whispered Scorch, stretching his scaly wings in the sun light.



“Oh hi Scorch,” Diamond whispered back, jumping up onto her feet and walked over to Scorch. “I better get going now. I think the sun is high enough now.”



“Okay, if you won’t to go now it's okay with me,” understood Scorch, winking at Diamond. “Anyway, I think Scarlet can learn how to hunt today. Smoke and I will teach her while you are gone.



“Okay thank you so much guys. You’re the best. I better get going now.” Diamond said, with joy all over her face. “Wish me luck,” she called as she leapt into the light blue sky.



“We will!!!” Smoke called to her. “Okay time to get sleepy head up,” Smoke stretched out his dark wings in the sun’s heat and went trotting into the cave. “Scarlet it's time to wake up,” Smoke whispered gently into her ear.



“Five more minutes,” Scarlet groaned in reply then curling into a tighter ball and put her red wings over her head.



“Hmm… Scorch.” Smoke called running out of the cave and into the warm sun again. “Scorch! Scarlet is not getting up,” Smoke complained.



“Hmm … I have an idea!!! Go pick three of those big leaves over there and get some of those sticky vines from sticky vine forest and bring them to me,” Scorch advised to Smoke and sat down on the cold stone floor.



“Okay, got it. I will be back in a minute!!” Smoke said to Scorch as he leapt into the sky. His scales sparkle like stars in the sunlight.



Meanwhile Diamond was a little nervous about her visit to the sea. Her wings shook here and there as she flew to the vast indigo blue ocean.



When Diamond arrived at the water’s edge, she slowly landed on the fine golden sand. She pressed her cerulean blue talons deep into the sand. The indigo waves crashed onto the dry sand. Diamond walked over to the vast waves and waded into the water up to her knees. The salty breeze blew into her scaly face. She waded out of the water and took to the sky, so she can dive onto the water when it was deep enough.

....



Back at the cave Smoke was collecting the materiel Scorch had asked him to collect. Smoke was now getting the big green leaves Scorch had requested. The leaves were big enough to fit a three yare old dragonet, so Smoke got three of those. Next he went to go get some sticky vines near the swamp close to the mountain were the cave was. The swamp was very close so its revolting smell speared though sticky vine forest. Smoke landed in the forest were the vines grew. Green brown vines draped over the half dead trees. The air was the colour of auburn brown. Smoke slowly walked across the muddy floor towards the nearest tree draped in the sticky vines. He jabbed his claws into the thickest and longest vine and pulled on it with all of his strength.



“Hmm one of these should do it,” Smoke said to himself and leapt into the sky with the vine trailing behind him.



“Here is the materiel you asked for!” Smoke called too Scorch when he landed on the hard stone.



“Great!!” Scorch cried with joy. “This is going to be great!! Okay give me the vine and the leaves. Okay I am going to poke some holes in the leaves and now I am going to thread the vine though and wallah.”



“Uh, what is that?” asked Smoke looking up at Scorch.



“Oh I forgot to tell you it is a water carrier.” Replied Scorch with a cheeky look on his face.



“Oh that is what it is!!!!” understood Smoke looking at the water carrier with wonder. “Okay what do we do with it now?”



“I will go to the river and fill it up and I will bring it back and you'll see what we need it for,” Scorch said with a giggle as he took off to the sky.



A few minutes later.



Hmm I need to get Scarlet up now. Smoke thought to himself and walked into the cave. “Scar…”



“Hay Smoke I am back. Don’t wake Scarlet please." begged Scorch when he came into the cave. “I have an idea to wake up Scarlet. It is going to be so funny and it will teach her a lesson for sleeping in too.”



“Oh, can you tell me what your idea is," asked Smoke, looking straight into Scorch's eyes.



“Um… no” Scorch said with a giggle.



“Hmm” groaned Smoke. “Okay, but did you get the water?”



Scorch nodded his head with joy and went outside to get the big bucket of sparkling water.



What is he up to,' thought Smoke looking at the entrance to the cave as he waited for Scorch to come in with the water.



A few minutes later Scorch came running in with the bowl of cold water.



“Okay Smoke, we have to be very quiet,” whispered Scorch walking over to Scarlet was sleeping with the water in his talons. Quickly Scorch tipped the whole pot of cold water over Scarlet.



“Uh!!!” Screamed Scarlet with shock as the cold water splashed all over her head. She quickly sat up out of the whet puddle and looked at Scorch and Smoke who were laughing their lungs out.



“W… w… what was that for?” Scarlet yelled at them with a unamused look.



“Hehe!!!!” laughed Scorch, before he could talk again he cleared his throat. “It is time to wake up sleepy head. We have rules here. Every dragon needs to be up before the sun is fully up. If you are not up by that time you will get a very un-pleasant wake up. Okay, but that is enough talking we all are going down to the meadow and you are going to have a hunting lesson come on.”



Scarlet slowly walked out into the sun. “Hmm the sun is so warm!!!” Scarlet sighed as she stretched in the sun light trying to get dry.



………



Meanwhile Diamond was enjoying the salty breeze on the tips of her wings.



'Hmm it is so nice just to be by myself for once. Mister bossy boots is not here to boss me around and tell me what to do and wine bag is not here to bug me so much that I want to rip his head off. So I am a little relieved that they are not here. Now I can look forward to meeting my parents again,' Thought Diamond with joy and dived in to the cold water. Salty water rushed thought her blue gills on the side of her neck. Her webbed talons swept the water as she swam. Her powerful tall moved side to side in the water giving Diamond a few boosts here and there.



……



A few hours later Diamond had reached the coral reef. There were so many colures it was like it was a painting.



Little fish darted back and forth thought the different coloured coral. Diamond swam slowly though the coral admiring the different colours around.



'Wow I never thought I would feel like this in the ocean. I feel so relaxed and now that I know that I just need to cross the coral and then I will be back home,' thought Diamond with joy. She tucked her wings in close to her body and beat her vast tail in the water giving her a big boost of speed. As she moved though the water all kinds of fish and octopus got out of her way. Streams of white, big bubblies trailed behind her as she went through the coral at a rapid pace.



It did not take her long to get to the sea wings sun palace. Diamond came to a stop in front of a grass green sea weed curtain. She slowly moved the sea weed aside and swam into a long dark tunnel. Small animals made their home in the tiny cracks in the tunnels walls. Diamond lit up the small lights along her snout so she could see a little better in the water even when she could see in the dark. When Diamond reached the other side of the tunnel she ended up in a crystal blue pool. Diamond came to the surfaces of the pool and started looking around. There were three waterfalls in the palaces. Green sea weed grew at the bottom of the pool. Big, blue shell pillars went right to the top of the sun palace where the sun shimmers through the blue glass.



'Wow everything has changed since I left to protect the valley,' thought Diamond, getting out of the water and onto the sandy beach. She shook herself all over getting rid of the cold water. Green and blue sea wings stopped what they were doing and looked down at Diamond. Diamond heard a little bit of what they were whispering about they were saying stuff like “Is that Diamond?”



“I am sure I know her. I'm sure she is the queen’s oldest daughter. Is she one of the valleys guardians?”



'Hmm they seem to remember me. Hmm I am going to go to the throne level and see if my mother is there,' Diamond thought, taking off to the throne level. The throne level was the closest level to the glass ceiling. Diamond landed on the throne level looking around.



“I remember being up here when I was young,” she said to herself with a smile.



Suddenly there was a big splash from the crystal blue pool down below, and a big blue dragon came splashing out of the water and landed on the soft sand near the bowl. A small blue dragon came out behind the other big dragon and landed on the sand next to her.


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Sun May 29, 2016 11:47 pm
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Dracula wrote a review...



Hey, Jessie! I like your use of present tense throughout the chapter. It made it really easy for me to imagine myself in the story and to become fully immersed in the fictional environment. Every now and then, though, you switch to past tense. This disrupts the flow for the reader, so it's important you stick to one tense throughout the whole chapter (unless there's a flashback, of course). Here's an example right at the start: It was early in the morning and the coper sun is rising slowly in the bark starry night sky. Little strikes of yellow, orange and red slice across the dark sky. You say that it was early morning, then you describe the sun in present tense.

Your write some great descriptions; I especially liked the ones used when Scorch's materials are being collected. You cover all five senses, which can be a difficult thing to do without overloading the reader, but I enjoyed reading your descriptions.

There are some spelling errors and typos throughout, so I suggest you read through again and work on that. Here's one: There were so many colures it was like it was a panting. The correct spelling is: There were so many colours (or colors) it was like a painting.

Overall, this is a great chapter. Happy Review Day, and don't stop writing! :D






Thank you for your great review. :D And happy review day!!



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Sat May 28, 2016 6:27 am
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felistia wrote a review...



Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day and happy review day. :D

Punctuation and Grammar:

It was early in the morning and the copper sun was rising slowly in the dark starry night sky. Little strikes of yellow, orange and red slice across the dark sky. As the sun rises higher in the sky the stars start to disappear. Light blue covers the sky and white clouds were nowhere to be seen. As the sun gets higher in the blue sky, its light slowly made its way into the dark cave where Diamond, Smoke, Scorch and the new dragonet they got yesterday Scarlet are sleeping. The warmth of the sun slowly wakes up the sleeping dragons.

Diamond was the first to get up and walked outside. She walked over to the edge of the cliff and sat on the cold stone floor staring out into the distance. Smoke was the second to get up. He saw Diamond sitting outside and walked up to her.

“Are you okay Diamond?” asked Smoke with worry in his black eyes.

“Oh hi Smoke. Nothing's wrong, it’s just that I haven’t been to the sea for at least forty five years, and I am so worried that I won’t fit in anymore,” replied Diamond, shaking of the thought of not fitting in with the other sea wings anymore.

“Oh that's bad, but you are going back today, so don’t worry I am sure you will be fine!" Smoke said looking at Diamond with a smile.

“Uh easy for you to say Night wing,” Diamond said with a snort of disbelieve in her voice.

“Why is that supposed to mean?” asked Smoke with an even bigger smile.

“Well you are one of the smartest Night wings on your island!! Aren't you? Diamond said ,smiling back at him.

“Yes, yes I am!" exclaimed Smoke sitting even closer to Diamond.

Back in the cave, Scorch and Scarlet were still sleeping. The rising sun slowly warmed up the dragon’s cold cave. The heat of the sun slowly woke up Scorch from his beauty sleep. He gently got up, trying not to wake up Scarlet. He walked outside to join the other two in the sun.

“Morning guys!” whispered Scorch, stretching his scaly wings in the sun light.

“Oh hi Scorch,” Diamond whispered back, jumping up onto her feet and walked over to Scorch. “I better get going now. I think the sun is high enough now.”

“Okay, if you won’t to go now it's okay with me,” understood Scorch, winking at Diamond. “Anyway, I think Scarlet can learn how to hunt today. Smoke and I will teach her while you are gone.

“Okay thank you so much guys. You’re the best. I better get going now.” Diamond said, with joy all over her face. “Wish me luck,” she called as she leapt into the light blue sky.

“We will!!!” Smoke called to her. “Okay time to get sleepy head up,” Smoke stretched out his dark wings in the sun’s heat and went trotting into the cave. “Scarlet it's time to wake up,” Smoke whispered gently into her ear.

“Five more minutes,” Scarlet groaned in reply then curling into a tighter ball and put her red wings over her head.

“Hmm… Scorch.” Smoke called running out of the cave and into the warm sun again. “Scorch! Scarlet is not getting up,” Smoke complained.

“Hmm … I have an idea!!! Go pick three of those big leaves over there and get some of those sticky vines from sticky vine forest and bring them to me,” Scorch advised to Smoke and sat down on the cold stone floor.

“Okay, got it. I will be back in a minute!!” Smoke said to Scorch as he leapt into the sky. His scales sparkle like stars in the sunlight.

Meanwhile Diamond was a little nervous about her visit to the sea. Her wings shook here and there as she flew to the vast indigo blue ocean.

When Diamond arrived at the water’s edge, she slowly landed on the fine golden sand. She pressed her cerulean blue talons deep into the sand. The indigo waves crashed onto the dry sand. Diamond walked over to the vast waves and waded into the water up to her knees. The salty breeze blew into her scaly face. She waded out of the water and took to the sky, so she can dive onto the water when it was deep enough.
....

Back at the cave Smoke was collecting the materiel Scorch had asked him to collect. Smoke was now getting the big green leaves Scorch had requested. The leaves were big enough to fit a three yare old dragonet, so Smoke got three of those. Next he went to go get some sticky vines near the swamp close to the mountain were the cave was. The swamp was very close so its revolting smell speared though sticky vine forest. Smoke landed in the forest were the vines grew. Green brown vines draped over the half dead trees. The air was the colour of auburn brown. Smoke slowly walked across the muddy floor towards the nearest tree draped in the sticky vines. He jabbed his claws into the thickest and longest vine and pulled on it with all of his strength.

“Hmm one of these should do it,” Smoke said to himself and leapt into the sky with the vine trailing behind him.

“Here is the materiel you asked for!” Smoke called too Scorch when he landed on the hard stone.

“Great!!” Scorch cried with joy. “This is going to be great!! Okay give me the vine and the leaves. Okay I am going to poke some holes in the leaves and now I am going to thread the vine though and wallah.”

“Uh, what is that?” asked Smoke looking up at Scorch.

“Oh I forgot to tell you it is a water carrier.” Replied Scorch with a cheeky look on his face.

“Oh that is what it is!!!!” understood Smoke looking at the water carrier with wonder. “Okay what do we do with it now?”

“I will go to the river and fill it up and I will bring it back and you'll see what we need it for,” Scorch said with a giggle as he took off to the sky.

A few minutes later.

Hmm I need to get Scarlet up now. Smoke thought to himself and walked into the cave. “Scar…”

“Hay Smoke I am back. Don’t wake Scarlet please." begged Scorch when he came into the cave. “I have an idea to wake up Scarlet. It is going to be so funny and it will teach her a lesson for sleeping in too.”

“Oh, can you tell me what your idea is," asked Smoke, looking straight into Scorch's eyes.

“Um… no” Scorch said with a giggle.

“Hmm” groaned Smoke. “Okay, but did you get the water?”

Scorch nodded his head with joy and went outside to get the big bucket of sparkling water.

What is he up to,' thought Smoke looking at the entrance to the cave as he waited for Scorch to come in with the water.

A few minutes later Scorch came running in with the bowl of cold water.

“Okay Smoke, we have to be very quiet,” whispered Scorch walking over to Scarlet was sleeping with the water in his talons. Quickly Scorch tipped the whole pot of cold water over Scarlet.

“Uh!!!” Screamed Scarlet with shock as the cold water splashed all over her head. She quickly sat up out of the whet puddle and looked at Scorch and Smoke who were laughing their lungs out.

“W… w… what was that for?” Scarlet yelled at them with a unamused look.

“Hehe!!!!” laughed Scorch, before he could talk again he cleared his throat. “It is time to wake up sleepy head. We have rules here. Every dragon needs to be up before the sun is fully up. If you are not up by that time you will get a very un-pleasant wake up. Okay, but that is enough talking we all are going down to the meadow and you are going to have a hunting lesson come on.”

Scarlet slowly walked out into the sun. “Hmm the sun is so warm!!!” Scarlet sighed as she stretched in the sun light trying to get dry.

………

Meanwhile Diamond was enjoying the salty breeze on the tips of her wings.

'Hmm it is so nice just to be by myself for once. Mister bossy boots is not here to boss me around and tell me what to do and wine bag is not here to bug me so much that I want to rip his head off. So I am a little relieved that they are not here. Now I can look forward to meeting my parents again,' Thought Diamond with joy and dived in to the cold water. Salty water rushed thought her blue gills on the side of her neck. Her webbed talons swept the water as she swam. Her powerful tall moved side to side in the water giving Diamond a few boosts here and there.

……

A few hours later Diamond had reached the coral reef. There were so many colures it was like it was a painting.

Little fish darted back and forth thought the different coloured coral. Diamond swam slowly though the coral admiring the different colours around.

'Wow I never thought I would feel like this in the ocean. I feel so relaxed and now that I know that I just need to cross the coral and then I will be back home,' thought Diamond with joy. She tucked her wings in close to her body and beat her vast tail in the water giving her a big boost of speed. As she moved though the water all kinds of fish and octopus got out of her way. Streams of white, big bubblies trailed behind her as she went through the coral at a rapid pace.

It did not take her long to get to the sea wings sun palace. Diamond came to a stop in front of a grass green sea weed curtain. She slowly moved the sea weed aside and swam into a long dark tunnel. Small animals made their home in the tiny cracks in the tunnels walls. Diamond lit up the small lights along her snout so she could see a little better in the water even when she could see in the dark. When Diamond reached the other side of the tunnel she ended up in a crystal blue pool. Diamond came to the surfaces of the pool and started looking around. There were three waterfalls in the palaces. Green sea weed grew at the bottom of the pool. Big, blue shell pillars went right to the top of the sun palace where the sun shimmers through the blue glass.

'Wow everything has changed since I left to protect the valley,' thought Diamond, getting out of the water and onto the sandy beach. She shook herself all over getting rid of the cold water. Green and blue sea wings stopped what they were doing and looked down at Diamond. Diamond heard a little bit of what they were whispering about they were saying stuff like “Is that Diamond?”

“I am sure I know her. I'm sure she is the queen’s oldest daughter. Is she one of the valleys guardians?”

'Hmm they seem to remember me. Hmm I am going to go to the throne level and see if my mother is there,' Diamond thought, taking off to the throne level. The throne level was the closest level to the glass ceiling. Diamond landed on the throne level looking around.

“I remember being up here when I was young,” she said to herself with a smile.

Suddenly there was a big splash from the crystal blue pool down below, and a big blue dragon came splashing out of the water and landed on the soft sand near the bowl. A small blue dragon came out behind the other big dragon and landed on the sand next to her.


Overall this was a great chapter and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night. :D

Your friend, Felistia. :D




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Thu May 26, 2016 5:22 am
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Abhipsa says...



Awesome! Looking forward to read the next chapter :)






Thank you so much!!! :D I am so glad you liked it. I will send you the link to chapter 6 if you wont. :D see you soon.




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