Published November 12, 2012
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,078 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
I peronally like the fact that you don't elaborate on who the poem is about.
I don't really understand why the speaker seems "unworthy of priority", however.
Very nice poem overall, I enjoyed it.
Hey, good poem. It really portrays strong emotion, but we can't really understand exactly what your trying to get across. We don't know who he is, or the son, or why you wouldn't have it any other way. What is so special about the swingset, what causes screams at the swingset, why is he, whoever he is, controlling your emotions so?
The only spelling mistake I saw was dragging is misspelled in the fourteenth line.
Over all, it portrays good emotion, but we never get enough information to know who, what, when, where, or why. We simply don't know enough.
Keep at it!