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16+ Mature Content

Merry Christmas To Me (Near To You - Chapter 6)

by janarose


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

Chapter 6

Has anyone ever said how hard it is to find evidence when the entire city is covered in snow? Well, it’s really damn hard. I had been working non-stop trying to find any evidence in my serial killer case. Right now, not much was coming to light. All three crime scenes were blanketed in white, which meant our only real evidence was the bodies and we had already covered all the bases there. Whoever this killer was, they were good. No DNA, no prints, no nothing. But hey, he had to slip up eventually right? That was one thing we had figured out, it was a man. We could tell by the injuries the women had sustained. There was just no way a woman was capable of producing that level of blunt trauma. It was physically impossible. I guess knowing at least one thing was better than nothing.

I finally stopped and put my paperwork away for the night when I looked up at the computer screen in front of me, the date caught my eye. Was it really only five days until Christmas? I hadn’t done any shopping at all. Damn it. The mall would still be open for a couple hours, so I sent Beau a text letting him know that I would be a little later than I thought. Time to brave the last minute shopping crowds, oh what fun.

I took a cab to Southgate Mall, which wasn’t too far from the office. It only took about 25 minutes to get there, good time considering Chicago traffic during holiday season. I paid my driver and squeezed into the overcrowded shopping center. I went over the gifts I needed in my mind: parents, Mama, Ken, Beau, and everyone at the office.

I figured I’d cover Mama and my parents first. I walked through the crowds to my first stop, Dolce Italian Tableware. New china, that was a good gift right? I knew Mama would love it, she was always cooking dinners and what not. My parents were those people who were hard to buy for because they already have everything. I was pretty sure they wouldn’t care what I sent them, they’d probably prefer just seeing me. That wasn’t an option with work though. I browsed through the collections of ceramics, stemware, and flatware. I didn’t really know much about fine china. Luckily, neither did Mama or mom. I finally found a more modern looking set with bright colors around the edges of the dishes. Those would be for mom & dad. Then I found the perfect set for Mama, it was blue around the edges, with an ornate gold leaf design. Very classic looking, I knew she would love it. I carried a dish from each set up to the service desk and waited for an employee.

Finally a younger girl came up to the counter, “How can I help you today, ma’am?”

I hated being called ma’am, it made me feel so old. I forced a smile. “Yes, I was wondering if you provided gift shipping from the store?” I inquired. If they could ship the gifts, it would make things a lot simpler for me. Plus, the china would probably make it there in one piece versus if I packed it and shipped it on my own.

“Yes, we do provide that service during the holiday season,” the girl told me with a smile, “Do you already have a set picked out?”

I nodded my head at her and set the two dishes up on the counter. “I’d like one each of these sets here.” I told her. She scribbled down the names of the two sets I showed her. Then she took down the rest of my information and the addresses I needed the gifts shipped to.

“I’m assuming these are Christmas gifts?” She inquired, I just nodded yes. “Ok, with our standard shipping, these probably wouldn’t arrive until after the New Year with holidays and what not. Would you like to pay extra for quick shipping?” I agreed to pay the extra fee, $25 more dollars for each set, took my receipt with order confirmation number and then walked back into the crowded mall.

I noticed Spencer’s up ahead and walked towards it. I got Ken gag gifts every year. It was funny just to watch his face turn red when he opened them. I walked through the store, trying to keep my giggles to myself as I picked out a few things to put in Ken’s gift bag. Watching him open these would be hilarious. I waited in a short line at the cash register, then I was back out in the crowd again.

I decided I would just get gift cards for the office, there was no way I could figure out what to get seven more people. So, that just left me needing a gift for Beau. I made my way to the other side of the mall, stopping at a kiosk for a coffee along the way. Finally I made it to the music store, Sam Ash.

I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to buy for Beau, but I knew I would find it in here. I strolled over to the guitar section of the store. Different brands of guitars lined the walls, I smiled remembering the first time I had ever went into a music store with Beau. It was our first date. Hard to believe where we were now compared to back then. The guitar Beau used now was still one that he had bought in college. There we go, I could get him a new guitar. I walked over to where the acoustics were hanging on the wall. I loved guitars, it was something I had picked up when Beau and I had dated before. They really were beautiful though. Different woods & finishes, they were works of art, really.

I browsed through the Fenders, Taylors, and Takamines. They were all so pretty it was hard to pick one. Finally my eyes landed on one of the most beautiful acoustics I had seen in the store. It was all mahogany and had a beautiful vintage styled pick guard. I looked at the guitar closer, Martin. Of course it was a Martin, those were one of Beau’s favorites. I knew I had to get it for him. The price wasn’t too bad for a Martin either. He’d know what it was as soon as I got home with it, but it wouldn’t hurt to give him his gift a few days early. I excitedly paid for the guitar (and a case). Then I was out the door, well after 20 minutes of fighting my way through the mall crowd. I flagged down a cab and headed home.

I walked carefully up the steps to my front door, and tried to be extra quiet when I went inside the apartment. Beau was sitting on the sofa, so his back was towards me. “Close your eyes!” I told him, my voice struggling to hide the excitement. I just knew he was going to love his present!

“Ok, why?” He questioned, but he played along. Putting his hands over his face so he couldn’t see anything.

“Just do it,” I started towards the sofa, “You better have them closed tight!” I told him.

He nodded, hands still covering his face, “I do, promise!” He told me, chuckling in confusion.

I stood across the coffee table from him, sitting the guitar case on the ground and opening it up so he could see the guitar inside. “Ok, now you can open them!” I chirped.

Beau opened his eyes. His mouth immediately followed when he realized his surprise. “Is that a…?” he started.

“A Martin! It was so beautiful I had to get it for you! Merry Christmas, baby!” I grinned at him.

“Wow,” he said, still a little shocked, “baby, this is just. It’s amazing.” He walked over to where I was standing with the guitar and kissed me with it still standing there in between us.

I looked up at him as we pulled away from the kiss, “I’m glad you love it.” I told him and leaned in to kiss him again. “Now, play me a song on this beautiful beast!” I laughed. I walked into the kitchen and poured us both a bourbon, bringing them into the living room as I sat down on the sofa next to him.

He started tuning the guitar, then stopped to take a sip of his drink. “I love you so much,” he smirked at me, looking at me sideways while he strummed more on his guitar.

I smiled as he started strumming a familiar tune. “My favorite song,” I sighed, “I love you so much more.” I was telling him, but that was also the title of the song. He’d written it after I first said ‘I love you’ and scared him shitless. He had left without a response and it was our ‘first fight’. This song was his apology.

He finished the song and leaned the guitar up against the table, “It’s amazing. Thank you again babe.” He told me before leaning in for another kiss.

It was still so amazing to me that he had come back into my life like this. I was grateful though. I was the happiest I had been in quite some time. It was like a piece had been missing all this time, and Beau just so happened to be that piece. My life was complete with him by my side. And I’m corny as shit, I know, but it’s all the God’s honest truth.

The next few days went by without much to tell. Things with work were quiet, we had hit a kind of wall on our case. On the 23rd we had our little Christmas party, then we all decided that taking off for Christmas Eve and Christmas would be ok. So far, it had gone well and we hadn’t gotten called in for anything. It was already 2 PM on Christmas, so I considered that good luck and Beau and I went to visit Ken.

We walked through the bar, to the back where the stairs led to Ken’s apartment overhead. I knocked on the door. “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!” I exclaimed as Ken greeted us.

He chuckled, “Come on in, guys.” He told us, stepping to the side as we walked into the living room. Ken’s apartment wasn’t anything spectacular, but it was nice to be an apartment above Paddy’s. It was small, but had plenty of room for Ken. One bed, one bath, eat-in kitchen, and a living room. It was all anyone really needed.

Beau followed me as we sat down on Ken’s tan sofa. “We come baring gifts.” I chirped at Ken, sitting his gift bags on the coffee table in front of us. Beau and I had also purchased Ken a new watch besides his gag gifts that I had picked up.

Ken grinned, “Let me go get yours real quick!” he told us as he wandered down the short hall to his bedroom. A few seconds later he reappeared and sat two small (badly) wrapped boxes on the table in front of us. “Alright, you all have to open yours first.” He told us as he sat down in a recliner at one end of the table.

I picked the boxes up and handed the one that had ‘To: Bo’ written on it to him. Spelling was never Ken’s strong suit. Beau opened his box first, to reveal a brand new harmonica. Ken had gotten it engraved to say ‘y’all’. “This is awesome! Thanks!” Beau exclaimed before playing the instrument a little bit.

Ken was always really thoughtful with his gift giving. He would have made a great daddy for some kiddos if he would have gotten the chance. Sadly, Ken’s only wife had passed away due to metastatic melanoma before they ever got to that point. He had never moved on.

I tore the paper from the box for me, and a huge grin spread across my face. It was a set of two Buffalo Trace old-fashioned glasses, two leather coasters, and a roasted pecan & bourbon scented candle in an old-fashioned glass. “Ken, this is freaking amazing!” I told him and stood up so I could give him a quick hug. “I absolutely love this! Now you’re turn.” I said as I sat back down on the sofa.

Ken grabbed the two bags from the coffee table and sat them on his lap. He started to open the bigger bag first, which contained all of the gag gifts. Beau and I both busted into laughter as he pulled out his ‘ball lifting briefs’. I saw his cheeks redden a little, but Ken knew it was all in good fun. “You two are lucky you already got your gifts! Shoulda got you coal!” He joked with us as he moved onto the gift bag with the watch. He pulled out the box and flipped it open. It was a white gold watch with gold accents. Ken smiled as he said, “You all didn’t have to do all that.” Which was a Ken version of ‘thank you’.

We hung around with Ken for a bit before we decided to head back home. Tomorrow we were going to a Christmas party that Beau’s manager had invited us to. It was ‘formal’ and I was dreading it, but it was better than not really having any Christmas plans at all, which is what I had been doing for the past 4 years.

We spent half of Christmas morning being the laziest humans on the planet. Beau rolled onto his side, propping himself on his elbow, “Someday, we’ll be getting woke up at the crack of dawn on Christmas mornings.” He told me with a grin.

“We need to get up and start getting ready for dinner.” I said, trying to dodge the topic he was alluding to. Beau and I hadn’t really talked about the whole ‘kids’ thing yet. There had been a couple of times the conversation started to come up, but I was always dodging it. I still didn’t know if I ever wanted children. I knew for sure I didn’t want any right now, I was still young. I had just gotten promoted. Beau was just starting his career. It just wasn’t on the table right now, so why talk about it you know?

Beau followed as I climbed out of the bed and headed for the shower. “I’ll wash your back if you wash mine.” He joked with me as we stepped into the warm water.

I giggled at him, “Deal.” I said and handed him my bottle of shampoo. We finished ‘showering’ about an hour and half later and I started getting ready for the party. They were having a dinner first, so we only had about 2 hours before we needed to head out.

I painted my face, best as I could anyways. Make up had never been my strong suit, but I had gotten half way decent at it over the years. I gave myself a simple cat eye and red lip to go with my dress. Beau had picked it out. It was very ‘holiday’ I guessed. It was silver and had some kind of sparkly things on it. I slipped the dress on after I had finished curling my hair. I hated dresses, but this one actually wasn’t too uncomfortable. Hopefully that wouldn’t change after dinner and the party. I slipped on my red heels and walked into living room where Beau was waiting.

“What do ya think, babe?” I asked him.

He turned to face me and a huge smile spread across his lips. “Taylor Jane, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He doted as he crossed the floor and gave me a quick kiss.

I blushed. “I love you baby.” I kissed him again.

“I love you so much more.” He smiled back to me, “Now, are we ready to head out?” he said with a raised brow. I nodded. And we headed out the door to get a cab.

45 minutes later we had arrived. Hand in hand we entered the venue and looked around until Beau found his manager, Zack. “You must be Taylor.” He greeted me, sticking out a hand for me to shake.

“The one and only. It’s nice to finally meet you.” I told him with a smile and hand shake.

“If you two wanna follow me, we’re having dinner right in here.” Zack told us as we followed him to the dining area. “I’ll catch up with you two later.” He waltzed off to go do whatever it was managers do. Apparently they were very busy whatever it was.

Beau and I found our place cards and sat down. “There’s a lot of people here!” I told Beau. He knew I wasn’t big on crowds like this.

“I know, babe, I’m sorry.” He apologized, squeezing my hand atop the table.

Hopefully this night would fly by and it wouldn’t be too bad. I squeezed his hand tight. “I’ll be ok, just don’t leave me by myself.” I was only half-joking as I said it.

Dinner went good, we had a typical Christmas meal. Turkey, dressing, etc. It was delicious, but it still wasn’t anything like Mama’s. Beau and I joked about that as we ate. He talked about his album and how recording was going with Zack, who happened to be sat at our table. After dinner, we headed to another area for the party.

There was a bar set up and a band that was playing. I assume it was someone else that Zack managed, but who knows. They weren’t as good as Beau, but I was biased of course. They had taken a break and let a DJ take over when a familiar song came over the speakers. “I Love You So Much More”, I looked around for Beau, who had went to the bathroom. He was walking towards me, right through the middle of the crowd. As he made in front of me, he kneeled down. Was this really happening right now? Everyone was watching. The music was stopped.

“Taylor Jane,” Beau started, yep this was really happening, “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Inside and out. You were the first girl to ever make me fall in love. The only woman I have ever loved. Four years ago, I thought I had ruined that. I thought I had let the best thing that had ever happened to me fly away to Chicago never to be seen again. Fate had something else to say about that though. Something, something great, brought us back together again, Taylor. And this time, I’m not ever gonna let you go. Taylor Jane Echols, will you be my wife?” He finished his speech, and opened the small black box he had in his hand.

For once, I didn’t mind everyone staring at me. In fact, I barely noticed them at all. “Yes!” I said, tears running down my cheeks, “Yes! I love you!” I practically screamed it at him. He stood up and I jumped on him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him hard on the lips. “I love you.” I said again more quietly.

“I love you so much more.” He whispered into my ear. The people around all started clapping and cheering as the DJ started playing the music once again. Beau and I just there, holding each other, and half dancing as our song played through the speakers. Just like that, I was engaged. I had become someone’s fiancé. It was crazy how fast everything could change, but I couldn’t be happier. Merry Christmas to me. 


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Sun Mar 27, 2016 12:07 am
Rydia wrote a review...



Hey there :)

Specifics

1.

Has anyone ever said how hard it is to find evidence when the entire city is covered in snow?
I think 'Has anyone ever told you...' might be more dramatic as it includes the reader directly.

2.
We could tell by the injuries the women had sustained. There was just no way a woman was capable of producing that level of blunt trauma. It was physically impossible. I guess knowing at least one thing was better than nothing.
I feel like this needs expanding more or making to sound more factual. A lot of the time in cop dramas there's the label of 'a man or a freakishly strong woman' when this kind of evidence comes up because some women really are as strong as the strongest man and that has to be taken into account. The same goes for height. There's no way for a woman to be one hundred percent ruled out based on strength of the blow. But they can certainly build their expected identity as a male.

3. Is he really going to get everyone at the office a gift? I say he because it sounds like a male though I don't actually know yet and I'm surprised because he seems young and young people just can't afford to splash out on colleagues like that. It's also not really the done thing? My office do a Secret Santa and then the managers will buy gifts for their team generally speaking because they earn more money than everyone else and it's a nice thing for a manager to do. I don't think the head of sales does it but certainly the other teams do. I think next year I'll buy for my supervisor because I've been with the company for three years now and I have a bit more money and I'm at that point where I feel that I know him really well. I couldn't ever see myself buying for the whole company though.

4.
Luckily, neither did Mama or mom.
Is this meant to say Mama or Papa? Or is he getting china for both his mum and someone else he thinks of as mama? It's confusing either way so could use some clarification.

5. A female MC? Whoops, I didn't see that coming. I don't think the voice is overly masculine, just a touch and could certainly translate to a tough, female cop so as long as you weren't going for feminine I think you're probably fine.

6. That seems extortionate for quick shipping! Isn't the MC upset by that? Does she hesitate? I certainly would and I'd probably decide to pack and send them first class myself because honestly it shouldn't be more than an additional $10 for that kind of package. Usually the more expensive something is, the more likely they are to d free delivery, though I understand there being a bit of a charge for Christmas.

7. I feel like at least one of the gag gifts should be described to us - that seems a good opportunity to give a flash of both the MC and Ken's personalities. What does the MC find funny? What does she think makes a good gag gift?

8.
Different brands of guitars lined the walls, I smiled remembering the first time I had ever went into ever entered a music store with Beau.


9. Wow, she decides to buy her boyfriend a guitar on an impulse? That's a crazy pricy gift, especially if she goes for a vintage one. They can come in at $700+ and often double that for a Martin. I mean, I'm translating from UK prices but it's not something you generally buy for someone unless you know they want a new guitar! This character doesn't seem old enough/ working in a good enough job to justify this.

10.
I walked carefully up the steps to my front door, and tried to be extra quiet when I went inside the apartment. [Should be a comma.] Beau was sitting on the sofa, so his back was towards me.
Why is he getting his present early? It's five days to Christmas...

11. I find the romance a bit too mushy gushy for my liking. I don't mind corny sometimes but I like it when there's something quirky below the surface as well. I like relationships where there's a sense that the pair are having to work hard to make things work as those seem all the sweeter for the sacrifice.

12. I think you can just tell us that the main character has Christmas off rather than the office decide it's quiet enough to go home. Sadly that doesn't happen. Usually at least one person will work the holidays, even if it's from home. There still needs to be cover 9 til 5:30 on Christmas Eve as it's not a bank holiday, even in very ordinary offices but especially places like a police station. I think Christmas day you're more likely to have most people off but police stations are definitely open on Christmas day. Or at least they are where I'm from?

13.
I tore the paper from the box for me, and a huge grin spread across my face. It was a set of two Buffalo Trace old-fashioned glasses, two leather coasters, and a roasted pecan & bourbon scented candle in an old-fashioned glass.
That doesn't sound like a small parcel ;) I think you'll need to fix that description.

14.
“Ken, this is freaking amazing!” I told him and stood up so I could give him a quick hug. “I absolutely love this! Now you’re your turn.” I said as I sat back down on the sofa.


15. I really don't think proposing at a work do is a good idea... it makes me dislike Beau ad the romance in this another level but that could just be me being anti soppy!

Overall

This felt a little bit 'in between' to me, like you're preparing for some stuff to happen but for the moment don't have any cards on the table. I'd have liked to see the main character be thinking more about the murder, even when shopping, when with her boyfriend and certainly when at the work do. I think that would add more colour to scenes which currently feel like they're filler and it might make the proposal more interesting if we can feel her surprise and if it comes as a contrast to her focus on work.

I think at the moment I'm not that crazy about either of the main characters and would like to see their relationship reach the inevitable rough spot you seem to be hinting at. Which is probably the wrong reaction but there's just no substance behind their dialogue - it's all 'I love you' 'But I love you more'.

The chapter flow was good and your descriptions were mostly strong enough that I could visualise the scene but I think the characters need more of an edge and I definitely found the beginning of this with the focus on the murder more interesting than the very romance heavy second half.

All the best with this!

~Heather




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Wed Mar 23, 2016 12:06 am
Brigadier wrote a review...



Hey there janarose. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.

I am back again to review another one of your chapters. This has been sitting in the depths of the green room for quite a long time. Sorry it took so long for me to find and review it. This time I actually found that the chapter title provided some information about what would be going on.

Merry Christmas To Me

Though this is a really overused thing at least you didn't go completely mushy, Hallmarky movie on this chapter. For that I am thankful and this is where the real review begins.

I guess this is going to be the last chapter in the series for awhile. All of my possible plots and timelines are still circling in my head and now I won't know the answer. I do have one question for you about the events happening in this chapter. As you were writing and re-reading this, did you realize how fast everything was moving? I know when I write down the plot, the base plot to anything, I have no idea what the time frame is going to be. This story seems to almost lack a realistic concept of time. One second the characters are just getting to know each other again and the next they are getting engaged. How much time exactly passed between the two events? Or was it stated somewhere in the story and I missed it?

I really thought this novel was going to be equal parts mystery and romance but this chapter just barely touches on the mystery. I figured that the last chapter was sort of an introduction to some big case and that the case would get its own chapter. This didn't happen and from how the story is going, I don't think it ever will. Unless you really explain everything that is going on with the serial killer case, its just sort of this fact that is floating out in space while your main character has sex.

When I was first introduced to the piece I saw a paragraph about the case. I was starting to get my hopes up, then I read the next paragraph. It wasn't necessarily that you ended it there, it was just how you ended.
I finally stopped and put my paperwork away for the night when I looked up at the computer screen in front of me, the date caught my eye. Was it really only five days until Christmas? I hadn’t done any shopping at all. Damn it. The mall would still be open for a couple hours, so I sent Beau a text letting him know that I would be a little later than I thought. Time to brave the last minute shopping crowds, oh what fun.

This didn't seem like much of a transition to me because the thoughts were on completely different planes. You had her thoughts but they were just floating and you had no recognition that they were thoughts. The reader can usually tell but you didn't put them out in anyway, no bold, no italics, no nothing. The emphasis of thoughts is not always necessary but you should try and direct the reader towards the more important ones.

Besides that you actually have a pretty good story. My possible endings for your story have shifted with the introduction of the engagement. I don't think you'll go the way I think it should though.

Well that's about all I have for this review. Sorry if I couldn't offer anymore advice.
If you have any questions about this review feel free to PM me.
Have a nice day.
Lizzy: Queen of the Book Clubs




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Mon Mar 21, 2016 10:21 pm
Mea wrote a review...



Hey there! I thought I'd come back for yet another review on this final chapter you have posted here. I'm kind of sad to see you've stopped posting it - I hope you're still working on it and just have decided to stop posting for whatever reason. Anyway, on to the actual review.

So, I still kind of think what I said in the last review stands, but I'm just going to roll with the new tone and review as if this was the tone all along.

About the current search for evidence - I feel like it would probably be better if you actually wrote out the scenes where they're searching for evidence, instead of having the majority of the scene be about the romance side of the story. Right now, the murder mystery plot feels very much like an afterthought, and you haven't really devoted enough time to it for me as a reader to feel very interested in it, and I don't really feel the suspense I'd expect to feel while reading a murder mystery. However, if you actually showed the search for clues and let us feel her frustration at not finding them, that would help.

Because the other half of it is that Taylor herself doesn't really feel like she cares that much about the murder. She's frustrated for a little while, but once the festivities start it's like she completely forgets about it.

Other than that, I don't have too much to say here. This chapter felt kind of like a transition chapter, a short time when everything is going all right before her relationship starts going sour again. Keep an eye out for typos, such as "baring gifts" instead of "bearing gifts," but I didn't see much else to comment on.

Anyway, good luck with the rest of this, and keep writing!





Overripe sushi, The master Is full of regret.
— Buson