All she ever wanted

by jaimi

  • Poetry

Published September 29, 2012

In love poetry

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A walk threw the park, the breeze threw her hair.
Someone who would hear her out, someone who would actually care.
Watching the sun rise, watching the sun fall.
Someone who would pick up her calls.
Playing with the sand, her feet all warm and cozy.
Someone who would be there when she felt lonely.
A kiss in the rain, a magical kiss in the rain.
Someone who would take her pain away.
Love, is all she ever wanted.
Comments & reviews · 2
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mascaraxrainyxdays
Review
mascaraxrainyxdays wrote a review Review · Oct 7, 2012

Hey jaimi.
Short and sweet, nothing wrong with that.
I thought this was kind of cute, but it was masked with sadness.
The girl seems so alone! There is a good use of imagery in this poem that I found easily painted a clear picture in my mind of everything. It might sound REALLY stupid but I turned this poem into a little movie in my head and found myself making me the girl -_- I am so sad sometimes. But anyway, I enjoyed it, thought it was lovely and keep writing!

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Stripelife1 Review
Stripelife1 wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2012

I think this was a very good poem. The only thing that I can see is that would make it better is putting it in stanzas. Other than that, I enjoyed it and think it was very good! Keep writeing poems. I can see that it is ur talent.



It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill —The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another.
— JRR Tolkien