Published March 29, 2014
Prologue
Colourful lights were flickering on the midsummer night as graceful bodies danced to the beautiful flutes that sang melodic symphonies into the evening. It was stunning. The “Festa Della Luna” was the event of the anno; every 16 year old girl looked forward to it. The festival where the town’s youth would dance the night away and find true love with the solstice moon would illuminate everyone. Under the “albero di Luna” we’d be told if our choices was accepted by Venus; the great goddess of love. If we were bound to a life of love or solitude.
Here’s the catch: you only got one shot; if you failed, the death of either you or your true love was the price to pay and you would lead a life of loneliness... forever. The idea of one person being made for you was beyond me, but it was the only way our village had ever done things. Loads of things could go wrong. What if he didn't know you loved him; he thought you were "just friends". What if he didn't love you back, because he didn't know any better.That was my fear; it would go all wrong and someone would have to die; me or him...
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140,828 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well, that sounds like a pretty interesting festival there, certainly seems like it would be a wholesome tradition that the youth of this town would all attend to have a night of good dancing. As a prologue it's a pretty relaxing little start there...well, for the most part, the last bit about the goddess of love being called upon to declare if all the young couples would work out or not sounds on one level to be a potentially pretty fun activity but on another level it does seem like it could lead to a few bad things there...
Well, that took exactly the turn that I was worried it was going to take there...and it goes from a wholesome and lovely tradition in this village to something that will end in just a lot of people being murdered and that's most definitely not a good sign in any situation whatsoever...so, well, this is headed in a veryyy different direction from what I hoped it was going to go in, but well, this does make this one of the most interesting prologues I've run into. This definitely managed to get you to want to read on and find out more here...this seems like a story that I would in fact follow here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Woah! Cool prologue here! Here's my review for you, representing Team Blue on this fantastic March Review Day!
*
) And not only that, but the ones that do have them sometimes don't make the best use of them. Here, I like what you've done a far as setting the story up for success and giving the reader some amunition to work with before they head into battle. (If that metaphor works for you.) Even though you've done a great job of laying the foundation the rest of the story, you also made this prologue a work of art in itself. Your syntax and your narrative voice were both interesting and aesthetically pleasing. If the job of the prologue is to make the reader want to keep on reading the novel, then you have achieved that with flying colors. 
I hope this review helps you moving forward and never stop writing!!! 
*Disclaimer: I'm reviewing from my iphone, so llease excess any typos of which there may be many....
First of all, I have to commed you for the job you've done here, as you've gone out of you way to write a prologue to your novel. Prologue a are possibly the most underrated part of most novels because quite simply, most books don't have them. (Not even the novel I recently started on here
I don't really have much I day a far as constructive criticism goes other than that you should've attached the first chapter because this just got me so excited to read it!
thank you for your feedback
its very humbling to have people praise my work and I'll try not to let you down thank you.
Hello Ivy, Laure here for a review!
So, this is a prologue is it? Nope, sorry to pop your bubble, but this is a plot synopsis that summarizes what the story is mainly about. A prologue, provides information about the novel, (usually in times before the time setting in the novel), that cannot be written anywhere else in the novel and provides crucial information to later events in the novels. However, prologues are not an introduction to chapter one or to summarize what the story is about. So in this case, this prologue is unnecessary in fact. This information is more important to you ad an author because all this information can be revealed to be readers in different chapters instead of all in one bit.
So, now that I've ranted over the prologue issue. xD. I will get on with the nitpicks and things I liked about this.
'Were flickering' flickered would have worked just fine, be concise.
'With the solstice moon' I think you meant, while the solstice moon. With doesn't make sense.
So, the imagery was good in the first paragraph. I can quite picture the soft moonlight, the music and e girls in gowns twirling about and gentlemen being all chivalrous and wonderful. So, good description and nice idea too.
I noticed, the last few sentences of your second paragraph fell away a bit, your whole synopsis was very crisp but at the end, the language just fell and it seemed to me more like a girl's ramble than anything else. You could just get rid of that, because those few lines were redundant and cheapened your story. You could have just ended it with, 'was beyond me.'
Overall, this is an interesting idea, I would love to see this developed. Hope I wasn't too harsh.
-Laure
No not at all. Your criticism is very helpful, though harsh but very true; i understand where you are coming from and I want to get better. Thank you!