The silence albeit melancholic and palpable, had a tinge of rapture and quietude. Yet he continued, as if the process wasn't perpetual. Swirls of crimson red, a frantic splattering of blue across the void that was to come.
Sublime beauty is what he is capable of, along with tantalizing the myriad throngs that press on with their bewailing, never realizing how they had been blest.
Those cold gray eyes are meet for the skin bound with terracotta, often burnished by the soft yellow of the light that we revel in. The smear of gold upon the delicate rose pink that bring color to the hands of labor. Even now remains the ultramarine that remains an abyss, a facade we fear.
Getting painted was not what I had expected....
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Canary word: Present
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Ah since I have like three reviews to go to the next star, here I am =D
Hia Nandinini, how’s it going?
Oha I wonder why you chose the world quietude over silence or something similar. It feels very deliberate but I am struggling to identify the meaning :3
I like this allude to perpetual motion in the second sentence!
Hmmm I don’t think I like the repetition of remains here: “Even now remains the ultramarine that remains an abyss,” Usually I think this works, especially in a more lyrical work like this one, but for that, I think the rule of three should apply, no?
I kinda like how the entire feel of the story has something grande and mystical about it but the ending line is so mundane. It made me smile :3 Thank you!
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Heyyy
I hope you are doing good and tyyyyyysm for the review!
While writing I preferred the word quietude almost merely yet, to me, the word had a positive feel to it rather than the hollow option of quiet.
The repition seemed quiet disturbing to me too but out of annoyance I let it pass.
Help- rule of three? Nah I'm js very confused with all sorts of rules in writing
Anyways the for ur review!
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the wretched S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Somebody is painting something that should not be painted. The more that is painted, the more persistent the horrors.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then you
Chocolate Bar - I like the way that you describe this painting. You hint at something that’s grotesque but do not say what it is. I like that. This makes all the more horrifying. Although the ending implies that this person was being painted, we are not sure if it is a person. It could be anything. It could embody anything.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a rather melancholic lyrical horror on getting painted. I’d love to read more of this. If you expand on this I will read it, but tis’ fine the way it is if you do not want to make more. Anyway…
I wish you a lovely day/night! ^v^
Thank you very much for your review!
Unfortunately I won't be expanding on it as it was a flash fiction.
Nevertheless I appreciate your thoughts very much.
This reminds me of a short story rather than a lyrical. I love the word "burnished." I am curious if it is his "facade we fear" or the narrator's. Also, I love the last line, "getting painted was not what I had expected." They sound ready to fight.
It is actually a flash fiction.
As a newbie I wasn't really sure about this piece or the YWS thing
The original prompt for me- getting painted was not what I had expected, and thus the last line
The flash fic talks about the characteristics of a human (The last para)- depression, human bonds, happiness, materialism, love and finally ultramarine. The ultramarine had been described as a facade we fear because it represents uncertainty.
Nevertheless, thank you very much for those kind words
This reminds me of a short story rather than a lyrical. I love the word "burnished." I am curious if it is his "facade we fear" or the narrator's. Also, I love the last line, "getting painted was not what I had expected." They sound ready to fight.