E - Everyone

Lost in the Code

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Hi, my name is Kazuto Hisakawa, and This is an warped adventure where my good friend Jiro Hiroshi and I explored a virtual world in the timeline of Imperial China. As I was walking home from school with Jiro, I told him that I wanted to get home extra fast so we ran quickly away to our homes so we could start our adventure in ICO (imperial china online).

When I got home I fled up to my room like a maniac and put on the VNS (virtual nerve system) and immediately became enveloped in several worn rag blankets. I was in ICO. I awoke to find myself in some semi-colorful monk robes that were also worn-down a little with a musty odor.

“Good morning young lad,” said an old robed man in the corner “It is about time for you to start your journey into enlightenment through Buddhism.”

“Where am I?” I asked, but as soon as I said it I noticed the distinct pattern on the far wall which reminded me of the temple of Changchun, where many Buddhists became enlightened through the Eightfold Path. Still, he answered.

“I welcome you to the great temple of Changchun,” He explained “I believe we should begin your path with Right Action. As you go through the world, you may find opportunities for you to become a better person.”

As he said this I was thinking deeply about where Jiro could be. With this in my mind I decided to travel away from the temple and try to discover my friend Jiro’s location. Of course following Right Action in the Eightfold Path by donating to some poor peasants along the way, however, I ended up going back to Changchun empty-handed. When I returned, the monks were meditating, so I joined in to. While I did so I was mostly trying to imagine where Jiro happened to be staying, when it hit me: there is no way to logout anywhere in this game.

Over time It began to worry me more about the no escape from the game. As I was walking along the paved road that day I saw someone who I had not seen in many weeks: Jiro!

“Hey Jiro!” I shouted “What are you doing here? I havent seen you in so long, where were you?”

“I’ve been trying to find a way out of this deathly place” he told me.

“What do you mean? I’m starting to like this game. Except for the fact that you can’t log out, that’s really bad,” I said.

“Let me try to explain this in under ten thousand words. If you die in the game you die in real life. Sure it’s a cool game and all with the Great Wall, and emperor Zhu Yuanzhang, but I discovered that the game can kill you. You know how the VNS connects to your brain? Well, apparently ICO can crash itself and fry your brain. Other beta testers have died this way, I’ve seen it. However, I have found a way out of here, or so it’s been rumored. Theres a ‘Dragons Cave’ over on Mount Tai which is supposed to have a door out, but I don’t know how we can get up there without dying because in this time period no one had made advancements on mountain travel, only boats like the paddle wheel.”

“Wow, This changes everything,” I answered “But we need to get up there, even if we have to use just chopsticks.”

“Yeah, as much as I want to go for your chopsticks idea, I came here for someone I know who travels over the misty clouded mountain a couple times a week, but he’s the only one that does it in all of china. He’s also willing to take us up there.” Jiro explained

“Looks like we got a lucky break, and when were out of here, we’ll put an end to this death game.”

A long time later when Jiro, the merchant and I finally reached the base of the mountain, we started climbing using ropes and stakes hammered into the mountain. The tools really were primitive, but they were better than chopsticks would have been. Soon we got to a small mountain trail and parted away from the nice traveler, even though we needed his helpful climbing skills, we were able to manage the rest of the way up the sharp treacherous rocks to the Dragon Cave.

“Theres something wrong here,” I said with nervousness “There are two doors…”

"You're right," said Jiro "There should be one door not two... Why is that?"

"It could be that one of them brings us to earth and the other keeps us here or something" I explained with uncertainty "If so, then it would be logical to have one of us go through a the left one and the other through the right, because we only need one of us in the real world to stop the game."

Jiro agreed with me and decided to go through the right door, so I went through the left door (which seemed more ominous to me but I was probably imagining it). We nodded a nod of good luck and confidence towards each other and stepped through our twin Dragon Doors… That was the worst mistake of my life.

Comments & reviews · 12
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Ziploc
Review
Ziploc wrote a review · Fri Feb 27, 2015 7:48 pm

Very interesting.
Kept my interest the whole way through...the only knit pick I have, is a couple words that should've been different...which at the beginning you wrote, "This is an warped" ... the "T" should be lowercase, and the word *an* should be "a".
Also, the word "we're" somewhere in the story didn't have the apostrophe in it.
But, this is just something I'm sure you'd find out if you proofread again..haha...but, just wanted to point it out to you.
My OCD ;)
Very good, though...I'd actually love it if you wrote another part to this.
Peace out! ^.^

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czen Comment

The book is very good it engaging too. I wonder if it could have a bit less dialogue. But it is still I very good book I would recommend this to anyone. Great story but you could add more detail like what the vns looks like I really liked that part. Over all i really enjoyed reading this story it was very in intriguing.

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anel Comment

I think that it is well written and keeps you interested and excited all the way through. How ever it could have had a little more detail, but great job!

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kvau Review
kvau wrote a review · Fri Feb 27, 2015 7:20 pm

I like the story! The plot is realistic, and the characters are pretty round for this short of a story. I wonder if you could talk more about how the expert climber left them at the start of the mountain. How big was the mountain? What was the trail like? Did they have to climb steps, or climb 90 degrees? Overall, your story has great potential, but could use some more description.

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zgar Comment

Your story is solidly written. I wonder if you could have less dialogue it takes up allot of space. I also think the beginning was good it creates a good start to your story. I like how you connected books and video games. I like how you left the story as a cliff hanger.

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zgar Comment

Your story is solidly written. I wonder if you could have less dialogue it takes up allot of space. I also think the beginning was good it creates a good start to your story. I like how you connected books and video games. I like how you left the story as a cliff hanger.

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swax Comment

This is really good! I wonder if you could show not tell a little more and go in to a little more detail. I like how shows modern life and how it connects to life in imperial china.

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zgar Comment

Your story is solidly written. I wonder if you could have less dialogue it takes up allot of space. I also think the beginning was good it creates a good start to your story. I like how you connected books and video games. I like how you left the story as a cliff hanger.

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clon Comment

I thought that this book was a really good way to connect books and video games. But I think that you could have described there journeys better. I did like the ending it was a really good cliff hanger that would keep me through the whole sires if this is a sires.

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nsey Review
nsey wrote a review · Fri Feb 27, 2015 6:45 pm

this was a good story it kept me on my toes the entire time I really like the cliff hanger it keeps you wondering and wanting to go on. I wonder if you could fill some blanks in tho there were some things that did make to much sense but it was a great story and i liked it.

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jwes Review
jwes wrote a review · Fri Feb 27, 2015 6:33 pm

I like the story, It is very interesting and full of excitement. I wonder If you could have had a more detailed ending and said why it was the worst mistake in his life.



Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.
— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief