Athwyn

by invisiblei

Published July 31, 2012

In the weeds

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Prologe

"My name is Thynwra, I'm here to know for whom this weapon was made." The figure said, the dark hood masked her face. Slynara shivered and pulled her cloak close around her. The tavern was damp and chilly, despite the warm fire heating the place.

She observed the hooded woman from head to toe, she was too intact to be an Encary Wraith. She wore dark clothing, leather boots and of course, a hood and cloak. Thynwra was an intimidating figure. Strong, powerful, majestic, and she was accertive. She knew what she wanted.

Thynwra lifted her head just a bit so that two eyes gleamed out of the shadow cast by her hood. They were like peridots rimmed with gold. A bright green color and just barely, you could see a sunlit band of yellow circling them. They were enchanting... bewitching.

"Your eyes..." Slynara whispered.

"Yes?"

"They're... they're... they're unearthly." she gasped, staring into the deep void created by Thynwra's eyes had her transfixed, and unnerved.

"Ha ha. Yes, I have an... unnatural appearence, just as I have an abnormal bloodline. But we're not here to discus my heritage, we're here to discus buisness. I have heard about your family's talent with smithery, and this is your family's design. So, please, tell me, who did you make this sword for?" She asked not rudely or demanding, just like a young girl desparate for answers.

Slynara sighed, she had quite a desision. Betray her family, or betray the whole kingdom. Who did she value more.

Chapter one

Athwyn Reliene

"Athwyn! Athwyn Reliene, wake up this instant! I command you as your mother and queen!" The annoying voice of my step mother rang into my dreams.

"Ungh..." I groaned, refusing to leave the inner depths of my sleep, I was tired and finally resting my eyes felt good. I'm sorry but it was a good book, to good to put down till four in the morning.

"WAKE!! UP!!!" she screamed so lound I jumped right of bed and landed on the carpet with a thud. The blankets were wrapped around my legs and I couldn't move. Today was my eighteenth birthday, also meaning that it was the eighteenth anaversery of my evil father's victory. The day he toppled the government, killed millions of innocents, made sure that there were no survivors of the original military and claimed the freakin' kingdom for himself as a "King" while in truth he's a dictator.

Meanwhile, he's missing out on my birth and his wife, his WIFE dieing during child labor. He missed five years of my life, FIVE YEARS! Then, when I was only nine years old, he decides that it's time to get remarried to a freakin' b- I mean, to a really nasty woman. All she does is dump on me. "Athwyn is ugly." "Athwyn is stupid." "Athwyn doesn't deserve to live in the palace." "Athwyn is a lazy bum who does nothing but sit in her room and punch the wall or write in her journal or talk to the cat or just sits there like she's an Aricore!" by the way, and Aricore is a stupid animal not even worth mentioning. It has no purpose in life, it's just this big ball of fat that does nothing except sit there and take up oxegen.

"Sheesh, I'm up you old hag." I muttered under my breath. I untangled myself from my mess of blankets and opened the door to my room.

"Athwyn, I swear, I will have your father hand the thrown to your younger sister Lillian if this keeps up. Lillian and Danielle are the buetiful ones in the family, every one knows that blondes are so eighteen years ago. Not to mention fasion sense, are you trying to look like a tired gorrilla that got in a bad fight with Zues?" I looked down, I was in my pajamas still, and my hair was so frizzy that it looked like I had been struck by lightning. I glared at her through sleepy eyes. I had no idea why she was talking though, I mean a dead pig would look better let alone smell better than she ever had.

She had greying auborn hair and icey blue eyes that were desperatly trying to stab me to death like ice daggers. Her face was wrinkled and you could tell that she used to be buetiful but years of using too many makeup products had ruined it. Now she looked like a pathetic old, prune that a three year old had drawn on, with permanant marker.

"All right I get it, you don't like me. Why don't you just leave me alone?" I said annoyed, she had absolutly no reason for insulting me like this.

"Of course I like you! Who else could I torment, the maid is not nearly as fun to insult as you!"

"Well, that... that was touching. It no longer hurts deep in here," I put a hand over my heart with mock sencerity, "Oh wait.... now it's worse. No please don't show me the sight of your face again... it scars me! I am now wounded for life!" I pretended to sob.

"Why you insolent little brat I-" she gasped.

"Am leaving now? I thought you'd never say that. PHEW! Goodbye Queen of the undead!" I said slaming the door right in her primped up face.

"OH!!!!!!!! YOU BROKE MY NOSE!!! JUST WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOUR FATHER!!!!!" She screamed through the closed door. I just rolled my eyes and sighed, my father the "King" didn't give a pixie's wart about what I did. I could have murded all the women and children in the closest village and he wouldn't even raise a finger.

"You do that!" I called back which just made her even more furious. I could almost see her melting the door with the anger she was brewing. Then with a 'Hmph' she marched off down the hallway to go and harass a scullery maid or something. Her second favorite thing to do after tormenting me.

"At least he'll remember that I even exist." I grumbled annoyed that my step mother had awoken me at this hour. It was six o'clock in the morning, what was I supposed to do this early. The sun doesn't even rise for another hour and a half. Why the heck does miss ugly yet perfect want me awake?

"You are the only one who seems to get me, you're a great familiar." I said petting the fuzzy kitten's fur. The little ragdoll cat Kakae looked up at me, her green feline eyes gleamed. She had grey and white fur like any ordinary cat, but on her right side there was a dark brown spot.

"Well, I am your best friend. Ugh, it's so hard to talk in this form, could you morph me? Please? Just for a little while?" Kakae pleaded. I sighed, it wouldn't be a selfish reason right? It would be helping a friend, which is completely selfless.

"Fine," I held out my hand and began the spell. It was one that I still needed to use a charm for.

"In cat form now you're meant to be,

but now another to show for all to see.

Human!"

Kakae rose in to the air and started a series of tranformations. Her green eyes changed to a red brown color. Her brown patch moved up to her head and formed into long glossy strait hair. Her paws stretched out to form hands and her fur rearanged itself into cloth giving her a grey and white dress. In all she made a buetiful woman.

"Whew! Thanks! Aposable thumbs, now that's a concept!" Kakae said looking down and wiggling her tan thumbs. She was a bit younger than me, like fourteen or fifteen. It was like having another little sister.

"Man, are you as pretty as you are in cat form as you are in human form?" I asked, this was the first time that I had ever given her this form. She's been a hampster, dog, gerble, snake, mouse, rat, deer, hummingbird, seagull, hawk, and I think once she was a moose, or maybe it was a llama but I can't be sure. So yeah, a kitten is her true form, but then she was given a spirit. It was this whole destiny thing, so in the end she ended up being my familiar.

"Yeah... I s'pose you could say that I am one hot gal." she said with a wink.

"You could say it, doesn't mean it's true." I said teasing her. She frowned and then picked up the litter scooper from her litterbox.

"Well soon you will be covered in this if you don't stop being so mean. Admit it, you're jealous of this." she swept the hand that hadn't touched the litter box through her silky hair while waving the scooper out in front of her.

"I cannot tell a lie." I said, not unwairily.

"OH!! THAT"S IT!!! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR FATE!!!!!" She screamed.

"I'm sorry but cat poo is not going to kill me, however if you get me covered in it, I am going to kill you." I answered jumping up from my bed. She too jumped up and started chasing me with the dirty scooper. I ran around the room screaming like a little girl again. Finally she and I lay sprawled out on my bed giggling like twelve year olds.

Suddenly, a banging on the door ended our fun. Before I did a see spell, I knew it was my 'mother'. Back to blame me for her life some more while I sorta fell asleep with my eyes open so that it looked like I was awake. Yep, that's my life, stepmom 'Athwyn! It's all your fault!' me 'zzzzzzzzzz'. Quickly I used a charm to change Kakae back.

"Once in this form,

In this form no more.

Be what you were,

once before."

Kakae suddenly shrank and went into the reverse process that had taken place to change her into a human. The banging grew even louder. I opened the door and got ready the pillow to lean against.

"Athwyn, it's all your fault!" I felt a yawn coming on already. "Ugh, your father has just realized that you are eighteen today. That means you have to have your princess ship corination. Today we have to through the princess ship corination ball. You have to choose your talent, insignia, familiar, seal, and magic. Then you have to make a speech, preform a show and other such rituals. Athwyn, when this happens, you will be the official heir to the throne, no take backsies. Our kingdom is doomed. Do you know how much work you have set out for us?" She whined, I just stared at her mouth hanging open. My father had never NEVER paid any attention to me. Now suddenly, I'm his choice to be heir to the thrown. For eighteen years we have been ignoring royal tradition, and now for my sake he's decided to follow all the rules for me? I looked around for the spyglasses. I was sure that this had to be a prank.

"W-what?" I stammered, taken aback entirely. If anything I was sure he would pick Lillian or Danielle. The perfect children.

"He has asked your sisters to assist you so Lilly, Dannie be rotten and spoilled for your step/half sister." Two girls walked into my room, the older one (Danielle, my step sister) had redish brownish hair, too light to be auborn. She had redish eyes and almost reminded me of clay. The younger one, (Lilly, my half sister) had pink hair, a pinkish tone to her skin and blue eyes ringed with a violet color. She kind of reminded me of a rose... or a pink lilly.

"Hi Athwyn," they said together as if they had rehersed it. They were the perfect ones, I of corse was the problem child. The one everyone 'shunned'for no reason.

"Hey Lilly, Dannie. Bu-bye miss Queeny." She frowned disaprovingly and then turned and strode away, her nose held high in the air. I rolled my eyes as I closed the door gently.

"Soooo.... what's your talent going to be? Fasion?" Lilly said trying to be nice.

"NO!" I was horrified, I mean have you seen the clothing I design, it looks like a five year old took the glitter glue and had to much sugar to eat before bed. Yeah, out of my many good features, good fashion is not one of them.

"Sports?" Dannie chimed in.

"Definantly... NOT!" Sports are even worse than fasion in my head. I mean, you actually have to do something rather than sit around like the lazy person I am. Um... not that I'm lazy or anything.

"Art, music, knowing random facts that no one cares about? There's gotta be something you're into." Lilly said impatiently, I sighed, I guess I was being really rude, but hey you'd be annoyed too if your mother had woken you up super early on a weekend not to mention it's your birthday and then it turns out all she wanted to do was yell at you.

"Sorry, I'm tired just.... just... do whatever it is you do..." I said yawning.

"Allright, anyway, you have art, music, writing, arithmatic, fasion, sports, horseback riding, whisperer, and weapon craft." Said Lilly, her natural pink hair shimmering in the sunlight.

"I... I guess I'll try music. I know I can't draw worth dragon dung. I can't do sports, I can't ride a horse with out falling flat on my face, I have always been good in the acedemic arts but I'm a straight A-B student, I hate fasion and nobody should leave me to designing anything, um, animals would rather tear my eyes out and give me rabies than listen to me sing and do my laundry. If I held a bow and arrow, I'd point it the wrong way and swords would just impale me. Music's the only thing I could have a shot at." I said thoughtfully. Dannie nodded and stood up. She then grabbed my hand and made a point of dragging me to the music room.

The room was even more glamorous than I remembered it to be. There was every kind of instrument imaginable there. Pianos, flutes, bagpipes, citars, harps, clarinets, piccaloes I could continue but to be quite frank I don't know the name of every single instrament in the world.

I walked by a lute with a silver falcon painted on it and picked it up. It was fairly heavier than it should have been. I turned it over and heard a clunk from inside of it. I lifted it high above, behind the strings I saw something was inside of it. I sat down on the little stool and put it down, this was a mystery best solved alone.

Next to it was a piano, I turned the stool down and placed my hands on the instrument. Personally, I used to play music all the time but when my father got remarried I slowly began to grow farther away from it. I even pushed away my best friend, Slynaka.

The day before I turned thirteen, she went with her father to the eastern kingdom Dragossa to pick up rice for her family, who was from a desticnt line of merchants. She was supposed to return by nightfall, but when sundown finally came, I had rushed to the window eager to see my friend again. I waited, I waited and waited, and finally when it was about midnight, I sent some guards out to find her.

On the morning of my thirteenth birthday, I recieved word that the wreckage of her cart was found on the road. There was no sign of her or her father. It was as if she had dissapeared off the face of the earth. Which, more likely than not, she did. Sometimes if people are not carefull, they can slip between the cracks of reality. Cracks in reality are very rare and are caused by extreme hatred but they can happen. In fact, I'm sure it was the hatred in the relationship between me and my stepmom that had caused it.

I took a deep breath, now for the first time in five years, I placed my hands on the instrument. At first, I was a bit rusty, years without practice had me confused with the different keys. After a while I slowly began to play more smoothly and in about two hours, I was regaining my lost talent.

"Whoo-hoo! Only a few things left to do! Now onto insignia." Lilly said dancing around the music room. Her pink hair shimmered in the sunlight and I saw that rare pink skin glow like a candle. It was strange, most people get naturally blue hair and that's as colorfull as it gets and nobody really gets blue hair it's a strange phenomenom in nature. Lilly however looks like she flew up and bathed in the pink light of dawn.

"Umm.... I guess I choose....."

"You can't just choose something!" gasped Lilly horrified, her eight year old innocence made her so cute at times.

"What? Why not?" I said confused.

"Because the symbol has to have symbolic meaning." She said and I nodded as if it actually mattered.

"Um..." Dannie said, looking at Lilly a bit jelously. Lilly had this way about her that implied that she needed to care about every single detail. She also could remeber every single detail, much to mine and Dannie's disadvantage. It made her very prim and proper and that's why she was the favorite of our mother.

"Here, this should help." Lilly randomly pulled put a book titled 'The Symbolism of Animals and other such matter.'.

"Where.... Where the heck were you keeping that?" Lilly ignored my question and stuck the book in my face and insisted I read it. After about ten minutes, I made my choice.

"I guess I choose the tree, because it stands for strength, protection and life." Lilly nodded aprovingly, then she walked down the hallway. I asumed she wanted me to follow her so.... I did.

"I already have a familiar!" I said so that she didn't get any ideas about replacing Kakae. Nobody, and nothing could ever replace Kakae, I found that out the hard way with Slynaka.

"Oh yes, I know." she yelled back, "All of the five countries know. We're not choosing familiars, we're choosing seals."

"Um... yeah! I knew that!"I called back a little unsure. She lead me out of the music room and down the cooridoor.

Chapter Two

Thynwra Lienee

The ally was dark and silent.

"AHHHH!!!! GET IT OFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!" Like said before, it was silent, now in the present, one of the idiot recruits Thynwra hired to help her get this mission completed was screaming at the top of his lungs. Unfortunantly, the cheif of bandits had dismissed her when she had told her that they weren't ready for this kind of mission.

"Shut up." She whispered even though she knew it was in vain. One of the bandits, she couldn't tell who because of the masks, had been rumaging through the trash looking for a bauble one of the rich aristicrats may have tossed out by mistake. Instead he had found a ferrel cat that did not take kindly to him messing about in it's territory.

"OWWW!!"

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
RWMcKinleys
Review
RWMcKinleys wrote a review Review · Jul 31, 2012

As side before, the prologue and the first chapter are incredibly short. But don't let that discourage you from writing more. From what I can tell from the Prologue is that a young girl is thinking to herself about journeying into the unknown (which is the dark and terrible woods.) Correct me if I'm wrong.

Chapter 1. It really doesn't tell the reader much about what is going on. Try to write more to it and diffidently add more detail. Right now all we know is that the MC is talking about his cousin Mathew. That's not much to go off of. You could improve there. I get the feeling that the MC has a bit of jealously towards his cousin. Or maybe he doesn't see the point as to why his cousin makes himself seem perfect? Chapter 1. doesn't really take the reader anywhere. There is just not to many things that we can bounce of off or notice.

Try and take your time with writing, it'll all come to you over time. The more you write the better you become. Like I said try stretching the Chapter out and adding more detail to it. Give us something that we can immediately see about the plot. This is near solid work, you just need to add more, take your time with it, and polish some more. Writing is like polishing a diamond, you can make it as clear as you want... But it will never be perfect.

Feel free to message me if you need anything. And Welcome to YWS

Thanks! like i said to Stevie- it was an accident to post it.... i love how every one here is so welcoming, iv been on other sites and its like-"you are a vegetable and i am a fruit, therefore i shall not talk to you."

I've been around for here for awhile. I love it here compared to other sites. I can see where you are coming from. Read some other stories on here and give reviews.. People tend to do that back to you if you first do it to them. But anyways welcome again!

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stevie415017
Review
stevie415017 wrote a review Review · Jul 31, 2012

Why is this chapter so short and in prolouges they really explain the hole story look at romeo and juliet. I know you are young and new to this site but this is two short of a chapter.Sixteen of these would make a chapter. Read some other storys on this site to get ideas. Work on your grammer and format as well.

thanks. i kinda had to post it cause i didnt know if i could save it and i had to get off the computer. So yeah i know its too short....

it wasn't really supposed to be that short but i didn't really know how to save it and i had to get off the computer.....im new to this so i rally have no idea what im doing..



Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.
— Sylvia Plath