Published November 16, 2007
* Just a little personal thank you to Crysi who inspired me with concept of two twin bombs ... After I finished this, I knew good things come out of the bad.*
"A Bomb With A Brother Named Atom"
Just this evening a bomb exploded in the living room.
Little did he know, that bomb had a brother named Atom
which burst upon his daughter two thousand miles away.
As these two twins ignited precisely at the same time
they succeeded in replicating each other's damage,
exempting both one daughter and one son from their homes.
Through words they find solace within each other's thoughts.
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140,590 Literary Works • 673,544 Reviews
Humorous I think!Cool!
Neat poem, very original.
Brad makes it even better.
if Atom is capitalized, then Bomb should be as well, since you are personifying the Bomb.
I'd split up the stanzas and condense the lines, as Brad showed.
I love the general idea though, about two people going through similar harmful experiences but finding comfort in eachother because they can identify with eachother.
Amazing! This must be good, if Brad didn't say anything crushing!
It was interesting, and a funny subject. I'm not sure if there was supposed to be a special point to it, though?
Mr. Belcourt,
Consider:
This evening, a bomb exploded
in the living room; it left behind
a brother named Atom
two thousand miles away.
As these twins ignited,
they succeeded in replicating
the other's damage, shrapnel
and fragments the same:
one son and one daughter
without fathers, and words
the only bridge between here
and tomorrow.
Take care!
Brad