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139,389 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Hey There!
I like your poem but it is really short. I think you should add more like a shadow is your companion in the dark or without writing "Your shadow is your friend" you could write "Your shadow is a friend who will stay with you till the end". This was all I think that was not write. Now lets see the points which are good, I think the part where you say that your shadow stays with you through the wind and snow is good because it does and the main part is you made each line rhyme.
Your shadow is your friend,
Everywhere you go,
It will follow you until the end,
Through the wind and snow.
This is all I see. Is there supposed to be more?
:/
No
This is very simple, which could be a bad thing if you were going for something deep, but I liked it. The first stanza was best, the second didn't catch my attention as much. I didn't like the line everywhere is town. I don't know what you mean by it, or how it fits in, or what it has to do with shadows. Maybe you ought to experiment with free verse and focus more on what you are saying than on the rhyme. Just a suggestion. Anyway, keep writing and read some more poetry, for one it's just fun to do, and it helps.
Thank You a lot!
This is really good.. exept the rhyme scheme kind of bothers me... the begining starts off ABAB then ends with AABB and it sort of throws off the flow i think...other than that though its a great poem!
Thanks