I'm taking the risk

Hey everyone! So... who knows what I mean by this? And by that I mean do people understand the last part? I'm just wondering who understands it, because it may not be so, um, understandable? Well, please, tell me what you think, and any suggestions, and criticism, that stuff. Thanks for reading, and if you have an idea for a title, it is DEEPLY appreciated!


If there's a pencil,
It's in my hand.
If there's a notebook,
It's in my lap.
If there's an idea,
It's in my mind.
If there's a chance,
I'm taking the risk.

Comments & reviews · 6
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User avatar
iheartbooks
Comment

Thank you everyone who commented! I really like hearing what people have to say

allmixedup and roon: Thank you for what you think it means, although they weren't my intentions, they were different ways to interpret it.

Flower~Child and kitrosemon13: Thank you for your opinion, but I feel like it doesn't matter how long something is, it could be a sentence, and people could still get something out of it. Not trying to say anything against you, just saying.

Flower~Child: I guess I don't understand-

I like the description, but it is lacking a story. I mean you have the pencil, but what are you writing? You have the notebook, but what goes on it

I mean, yes I have a pencil, but what matters what I'm writing? And I have a notebook, but you asked the same question again, what am I doing with it? I'm sort of confused about the question itself, I don't think you're getting the real thing, but I'm gonna say what I mean.

#FF0040 ">If there's a pencil,
It's in my hand.
If there's a notebook,
It's in my lap.

#0040BF ">If there's an idea,
It's in my mind.

#004000 ">If there's a chance,
I'm taking the risk


#FF0040 ">The first part is basically saying that I can't stop writing, it's just there, always, running through my blood.
#0080BF ">This part is basically saying that there are so many ideas in my head, I must have every scenario running around there =]
#004000 ">The last part is really me saying that when I'm writing my ideas down, it's just me taking a risk at getting a good catch. I mean, we all do that right? We don't know if our idea is going to be a great one or a stinker, but we still write it down.

So that's pretty much it, sorry for probably boring you all! And please! People, please still comment on your opinions as to what you think of it. Thank you!!!
-iheartbooks♥

User avatar
roon
Review
roon wrote a review · Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:24 pm

I don't think it matters that it's short, I really liked it, it's to the point and sweet. I was sceptical when I started reading, I didn’t think it was going to work. I love writing, but I’m normally nervous about sharing it, so in that way, I can see where the risk is coming from, also, you never know whether it’s going to be good. When you share something you create, you really do put yourself on the line, even writing something down is taking your personal thoughts out of your head. Anyway, I’m rambling, I just thought I’d tell you that I like it. The only thing I would change would be your capitalising the first letter of every line. I hope I didn’t interpret it wrongly, see the quote below!

~Roon

User avatar
kitrosemon13
Review

This was really short but you got to the point,

iheartbooks wrote:

If there's a pencil,
It's in my hand.
If there's a notebook,
It's in my lap.
If there's an idea,
It's in my mind.
If there's a chance,
I'm taking the risk.


You didn't give me much to work with, just make it longer I guess. More detail would be good.

User avatar
Flower~Child
Review

I think I would make this longer. It is so short we don't really get anything out of it. I like the description, but it is lacking a story. I mean you have the pencil, but what are you writing? You have the notebook, but what goes on it.

All in all I think it is to short to really review, but with some added length I think it has potential.

-Flower-

User avatar
SisterItaly
Review

iheartbooks wrote:If there's a pencil,
It's in my hand.
If there's a notebook,
It's in my lap.
If there's an idea,
It's in my mind.
If there's a chance,
I'm taking the risk.


What I thought off when I read this, was someone waiting for inspiration to strike, or trying to come out of writers block *shudders* horrid thing writers block is. I couldn't find any spelling mistakes, and I don't see any grammar mistakes *triple checks* nope! I like! *clicks like a million times*



I communicate much better on paper than I do when I open my mouth.
— Aaron Sorkin